Ray Bradbury - The Machineries of Joy

Ray Bradbury

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“The Machineries of Joy,” “The Illustrated Woman,” “A Miracle of Rare Device,” “The Best of All Possible Worlds,” “The Vacation,” and “The Life Work of Juan Díaz” were originally published in Playboy . Copyright © 1960, 1961, 1962, 1963 by HMH Publishing Co., Inc.

“Some Live like Lazarus” was originally published in Playboy as “Very Late in the Evening.” Copyright © 1960 by HMH Publishing Co., Inc.

“The Anthem Sprinters” was originally published in Playboy as “The Queen’s Own Evaders.” Copyright © 1963 by HMH Publishing Co., Inc.

“The Drummer Boy of Shiloh” was originally published in the Saturday Evening Post . Copyright © 1960 by the Curtis Publishing Company.

“The Beggar on O’Connell Bridge” was originally published as “The Beggar on the Dublin Bridge” in the Saturday Evening Post . Copyright © 1961 by the Curtis Publishing Company.

“And the Sailor, Home from the Sea” was originally published in the Saturday Evening Post as “Forever Voyage.” Copyright © 1960 by the Curtis Publishing Company.

“Tyrannosaurus Rex” was originally published in the Saturday Evening Post as “The Prehistoric Producer.” Copyright © 1962 by the Curtis Publishing Company.

“Death and the Maiden” and “To the Chicago Abyss” were originally published in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction . Copyright © 1960, 1963 by Mercury Press, Inc.

Cover design by Mike Topping.

Cover layout design © HarperCollins Publishers 2014 Cover photographs © Shutterstock.com

Ray Bradbury asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

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Ebook Edition © JULY 2013 ISBN: 9780007539833

Version: 2014–07–18

For Ramona ,

who cried when she heard

that the Hound of the

Baskervilles was dead …

For Susan ,

who snorted at the same news …

For Bettina ,

who laughed …

And for Alexandra ,

who told everyone to

just get out of the way …

This book, dear daughters,

with four different kinds

of love, for you.

Cover

Title Page THE MACHINERIES OF JOY SHORT STORIES BY Ray Bradbury

Dedication For Ramona , who cried when she heard that the Hound of the Baskervilles was dead … For Susan , who snorted at the same news … For Bettina , who laughed … And for Alexandra , who told everyone to just get out of the way … This book, dear daughters, with four different kinds of love, for you.

The Machineries of Joy

The One Who Waits

Tyrannosaurus Rex

The Vacation

The Drummer Boy of Shiloh

Boys! Raise Giant Mushrooms in Your Cellar!

Almost the End of the World

Perhaps we are Going Away

And the Sailor, Home from the Sea

El Día de Muerte

The Illustrated Woman

Some Live Like Lazarus

A Miracle of Rare Device

And So Died Riabouchinska

The Beggar on O’connell Bridge

Death and the Maiden

A Flight of Ravens

The Best of all Possible Worlds

The Lifework of Juan Díaz

To the Chicago Abyss

The Anthem Sprinters

Keep Reading

About the Author

Also by the Author

Copyright

About the Publisher

“Somewhere,” said Father Vittorini, “did Blake not speak of the Machineries of Joy? That is, did not God promote environments, then intimidate these Natures by provoking the existence of flesh, toy men and women, such as are we all? And thus happily sent forth, at our best, with good grace and fine wit, on calm noons, in fair climes. are we not God’s Machineries of Joy?”

“If Blake said that,” said Father Brian, “he never lived in Dublin.”

Father Brian delayed going below to breakfast because he thought he heard Father Vittorini down there, laughing. Vittorini, as usual, was dining alone. So who was there to laugh with, or at?

Us , thought Father Brian, that’s who .

He listened again.

Across the hall Father Kelly too was hiding, or meditating, rather, in his room.

They never let Vittorini finish breakfast, no, they always managed to join him as he chewed his last bit of toast. Otherwise they could not have borne their guilt through the day.

Still, that was laughter, was it not, belowstairs? Father Vittorini had ferreted out something in the morning Times . Or, worse, had he stayed up half the night with the unholy ghost, that television set which stood in the entry like an unwelcome guest, one foot in whimsy, the other in the doldrums? And, his mind bleached by the electronic beast, was Vittorini now planning some bright fine new devilment, the cogs wheeling in his soundless mind, seated and deliberately fasting, hoping to lure them down curious at the sound of his Italian humors?

“Ah, God.” Father Brian sighed and fingered the envelope he had prepared the previous night. He had tucked it in his coat as a protective measure should he decide to hand it to Pastor Sheldon. Would Father Vittorini detect it through the cloth with his quick dark X-ray vision?

Father Brian pressed his hand firmly along his lapel to squash any merest outline of his request for transferral to another parish.

“Here goes.”

And, breathing a prayer, Father Brian went downstairs.

“Ah, Father Brian!”

Vittorini looked up from his still full cereal bowl. The brute had not even so much as sugared his corn flakes yet.

Father Brian felt as if he had stepped into an empty elevator shaft.

Impulsively he put out a hand to save himself. It touched the top of the television set. The set was warm. He could not help saying, “Did you have a seance here last night?”

“I sat up with the set, yes.”

“Sat up is right!” snorted Father Brian. “One does sit up, doesn’t one, with the sick, or the dead? I used to be handy with the ouija board myself. There was more brains in that.” He turned from the electrical moron to survey Vittorini. “And did you hear far cries and banshee wails from, what is it? Canaveral?”