Philip Hensher - The Northern Clemency

‘Anyway,’ the boy said, ‘if she asks, you say, “I can’t sit next to that Michael because I’m allergic to the smell he puts out, it makes me sick and I can’t answer questions and my hand wobbles when I write.” That Michael, his family, they live in a maisonette, they’re right poor. You can sit where you like, so come and sit next to me.’

‘He didn’t know who the prime minister was,’ a girl said. ‘I’m Sally, and that’s Paul, and that’s the other Paul, and—’

‘He was going to be kept back a year because he doesn’t know anything,’ Paul – Francis’s new neighbour – said. ‘But his mum came down and she shouted and they let him go up anyway, but he knows nowt.’

‘He knows—’

‘He knows nowt,’ the other Paul, the impressionist, the playground raconteur said. ‘Don’t you know what “nowt” means?’

Soon, that vocabulary, like the shared and tender vocabulary of friendship, was clarified, and Francis was tenderly aware that if he had walked out of that classroom with near-tears of fright and isolation, he had walked back in surrounded by six immediate friends, and his near-tears were from a different source. They were the last back in, and Francis felt that a wave of shy surprise and interest went through the rest of the class, admiring and envying the bold step that that mixed and sophisticated group had taken in befriending the boy from London without waiting to see what the general view was. Francis felt full of pride at the step he had taken here.

The game began every day at half twelve, once they’d finished their doled-out lunch, bolted it down. Sometimes, too, at half ten and quickly at the quarter-past-two playtime as well, till the luxurious expanse of the game they could play at dinnertime to the point of stitches in their sides seemed almost improbable next to the swift trailer of its morning, its afternoon versions. Francis was absorbed here, both anonymous and accepted, whether a blank member of a playtime cadre, or a person with conspicuous friends, but in either case protected.

At break – that was what they called playtime, whether a more serious or just a more Sheffield word – the game began again, returning to the beginning and each time, somehow, getting a little bit further. It was as if with each attempt they had got a little closer to its essential heart, to some prize it concealed, like a team of adventurers taking turns to whittle at some initially unpromising and rude block. Inside there was some prize.

That was it, the allure of the game. Though there was not and could not be any real prize, it seemed far more like a formal, famous game, the sort you played under gracious adult supervision at a celebration, a birthday party, and yet infinitely more violent and exciting. It did not seem like a playground enterprise of shamefaced silliness, of rhymes and stomping that no adult could be allowed to hear, but like a brilliant expansive entertainment with printed rules, played in your best clothes, but with the dazzling promise of unconstrained fury, too. It was a game that should have been put away for best occasions, and was played, irresistibly, every day.

But outside the game and its allotted hours, his social standing was obscure. He felt himself good at the game through something barely commented on by others or previously noticed by him: his height and swiftness. He had grown up into this scale and, in London, the moment to observe any change or the disproportion had never presented itself. But to arrive here in such a state, taller than anyone else in the class and faster too, as the game proved, made him obvious to them and to himself. In the playground, and to his immediately acquired circle, that was something fine, dangerous, admired; outside it, it seemed to make him only conspicuous.

One day, during PE, Miss Barker set them a race in the playground, a relay race between four teams. Each runner was to touch a marked-out point at the middle of each straight border; Miss Barker marked them, and those were the rules. The first runners from each team set off, and ran along the border of the whole playground. It seemed that they had not understood, and when it came to Francis’s turn, third in his team, he set off directly, running only between points, carving a small diamond like the points in a game of rounders. He was not stopped, and got home twice as fast as the other teams; the other runners in his team followed his example, and the others, doggedly, to their longer route. He had done the right thing, it turned out, but his height and swiftness, as well as this spirit of enterprise, had marked him out.

A few weeks after arriving, at the beginning of a lesson, as they were sitting down red-faced and busy after morning playtime, Miss Barker came into the classroom. The fourth years had been in the classroom before then, and on the board was an abandoned impatient tangle of x and y, the obscure and useless corners of the alphabet, mixed incredibly with numbers, some normal-sized, some shrunk and sent to the top of a letter like a scratch on the forehead, symbols poetically abstruse and, for the moment, as blank as the hieroglyphs of a kingdom disinterred from the sand; a frail language occasionally glimpsed about the school that it seemed impossible he, or any of them, should ever comprehend or, like French, converse in and, looking at it, he brought a measure of wilful ignorance even of those fragments he could have understood. Miss Barker sighed, sagged. ‘Francis,’ she said, her eyes not quite alighting where she spoke, ‘could you come and clean the blackboard before we start?’ She had not quite addressed him by name until then, not since she had introduced him to the class, but Francis was up quickly and taking the board rubber from her somewhat unwilling grasp. ‘Yes – all right then,’ she said oddly, with a half-smile to his side that he didn’t understand, and let him do the task, slowly and seriously. It was the first task he’d been asked to undertake in front of the whole class, by name; now they couldn’t go on calling him ‘new kid’. There was a sort of buzz in the room. When he had finished, he went back to his seat. The two girls behind him were scowling at him, and as he sat down, one of them – yes, her name was Frances, wasn’t it? – kicked his chair hard.

‘She di’n’t mean you,’ the girl said, not lowering her voice, and Miss Barker, before embarking on another of her unplanned and circuitous ‘lectures’, an improvised and loose chain of her morning’s happenstance thoughts, was pleased to say, ‘Well, Frances…’ she paused like a skilled comedian awaiting what indeed came, an appreciative laugh ‘…I’m sure you can do it next time. If our new friend from London will let you.’ As if he had no right to his own name, and she’d politely forgotten it out of good taste. The class laughed, and not at the old woman. Francis felt heat in his face.

‘He’s right tall, that new kid,’ the girl behind him said derisively to her glued-on friend at the end of the ‘lecture’, meaning him to hear. ‘It looks ridiculous, being as tall as that. Someone ought to say something to him, that new kid.’ And then it was time for the game again.

‘She’s horrible, that old Barker,’ Anthony said, as they were sitting on the steps, wrapped in coats and scarves, Anthony’s coat a broad yellow check, handed down from a brother, with orange mittens hanging from his wrists by sewed-on strips of elastic.

‘She’s mental,’ Susan said, a nice girl with an always blocked nose, the snot perpetually at the rim of her nostrils; she had hair like a dog’s. ‘She’s boring and mental, too,’ she said. ‘The way she goes on, one thing after another, it makes no sense. Are you supposed to be taking notes, or what?’

‘And mardy,’ one of the Pauls said – one of those words, Francis was working out what it meant, the limits of its meaning, and then he’d be using it too.