Terri Reed - Love Comes Home and A Sheltering Love - Love Comes Home / A Sheltering Love

Any semblance of a smile vanished from his face. “No,” came the terse answer.

Silence, dense and thick, filled the air between them.

Pushing her Cobb salad around with her fork, she searched for a neutral topic. “Does your dad still work for the forestry service?”

“He’s semiretired.” He picked up his hamburger and took a bite.

“That’s nice for him.”

“Uh-huh.”

Frustrated that he wasn’t being cooperative with small talk, she watched him drown his French fries in ketchup. The red gooey mess didn’t look healthy.

She ate slowly, her body recognizing the need for sustenance, but her mind rebelled, urging her back to Mom G. After a long moment of silence she tried again. “And you, Josh? What do you do?”

“I’m a ranger.”

“You are?” Surprise echoed in her voice.

He glanced at her sharply. “I wouldn’t lie.”

“I didn’t mean to suggest you would.” She softened her voice. “You used to talk about going into the forestry service. I didn’t think…” She trailed off, not wanting to offend him.

“You didn’t think I would.” He sounded amused.

“No, truth be told, I figured when you married Andrea you’d settle into a nine-to-five job and have a picture-perfect life.” She’d imagined him living the fantasy. The fantasy they’d dreamed together those days long ago. An old Victorian house, the dog, the picket fence. Those were the things they’d wanted.

Only, as a doctor she didn’t fit into his cookie-cutter world and she couldn’t do what needed to be done from this hospital. The place where her mother had died.

Rachel noticed the ticking muscle along Josh’s strong jaw. “I’m sorry. If you’d rather not talk about Andrea, I understand.”

“Do you?”

The intensity in his voice made her wince. He was still grieving for his wife but she didn’t know what to say or do to help him. The usual words of condolence she’d deliver to a family member of a patient didn’t seem appropriate here. This was Josh.

“Dr. Maguire, Josh.” Dr. Kessler approached the table.

“Doctor,” Josh said.

Rachel rose, gripping the edge of the table, panic pounding in her veins. “Mom G.?”

Dr. Kessler held up a reassuring hand. “I’m on my way to see her. Just stopped in to grab a coffee.”

She released her white-knuckled grip and sat down again. Josh reached across and took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Comforted by his gesture, she gave him a grateful smile before slipping her hand away. His touch was too warm, too welcome. She couldn’t allow herself the luxury of wanting his touch because wanting something she couldn’t have was not her style.

“Dr. Maguire, our E.R. attending was very excited to learn you were here. I hope you’ll take a moment and stop by the E.R. to introduce yourself.”

Fat chance. She wasn’t going anywhere near that E.R. Too many of her nightmares involved that place. Careful to keep her thoughts from showing, she smiled. “If I have time.”

Behind his wire-rimmed glasses, Dr. Kessler’s eyes showed disappointment. “I’ll check on Olivia now.”

Rachel watched the doctor leave. “What do you think of him?”

“He’s a good doctor.”

Josh’s tone rang with certainty and she accepted his pronouncement.

She finished the last of her salad, then picked up her tray and stood. “I’m going back upstairs now.”

Josh rose, taking her tray from her. “I’ve got it.” He took their trays and deposited them in the dirty dish bin before coming back to stand beside her. “We could go down to the emergency room. We haven’t been gone very long.”

Slipping her jacket back over her silk, short-sleeve top, Rachel shook her head. “I’m not here to work.”

He arched a brow. “Too small-town for you?”

“No. I wouldn’t be able to stay focused.”

“Right. Focused.”

The beeper attached to Rachel’s waistband sent a shrill alarm ringing through the cafeteria. Her heart slammed against her chest. Mom G. Rachel couldn’t make her feet move; panic gripped her, clogging her throat. Josh moved to her side, his big, warm hand cradling her elbow. “Josh, Mom G….”

“Let’s go.” The urgency in his tone clutched at her throat. She gratefully leaned on him as he propelled her out of the cafeteria and through the hospital.

Rachel and Josh stepped off the elevator and onto the fifth floor and sprinted down the corridor to Mom G.’s room. They skidded to a halt as a nurse emerged out the door.

“Is she…?” Rachel couldn’t say the words.

The nurse smiled at her kindly. “She’s waiting for you.”

“Oh, thank you, God,” Rachel breathed out. She swept past the nurse and into the room, aware that Josh followed closely behind.

Dr. Kessler stood at the foot of the bed, writing on the chart. He turned as Rachel approached. There was relief in his sympathetic eyes. “Her vitals are erratic. She’s slipping away fast. It’ll be only a matter of hours.”

A heaviness settled on Rachel as she moved to the side of the bed and took Mom G.’s hand.

Mom G. stirred and opened her eyes. Her gaze focused on Rachel. “I love you.”

Rachel swallowed the huge, burning lump in her throat and tried to smile, but could only manage a slight lifting of the corners of her mouth. Agony and grief gnarled in her heart. “I love you.”

“You’re my daughter. And I thank God every day that He brought you into my life.” Her voice was weak, strained with the effort to talk.

Rachel let the tears slipping down her cheeks fall into her lap. She couldn’t fight the pain of losing the only person who really cared about her.

“Rachel, happiness lies beyond what you think’s possible. It’s there waiting for you. You only have to have faith.”

“I don’t want you to leave me,” Rachel whispered, shuddering with the intensity of her grief.

Mom G.’s grip tightened ever so slightly. “It’s time for me to go be with my Savior. I’ve had a good life.” She shifted her gaze away from Rachel. “Josh, you’ll keep your promise?”

Josh’s deep voice filled the room. “Yes, I promise.”

Mom G. nodded and then seemed to shrink within herself.

Rachel pressed Mom G.’s hand to her cheek. Wanting to hang on, to somehow, with the force of her love, keep her from slipping away.

“I’ll wait for you in heaven.” Mom G. breathed the words with a smile and then her eyes closed.

Rachel refused to budge from Mom G.’s side. The hospital staff went about their business and Josh pulled up a chair beside her. Even though he didn’t touch her, she felt his presence like a soft covering. Two hours ticked by in agonizing slowness as Mom. G’s breathing slowed to small hiccups of air.

Mom G.’s heartbeat fell, then stopped. Machines sounded a strident warning. Rachel instinctively reacted by rising, ready to begin resuscitation. She looked wildly at the others filing into the room. Everyone stood quietly by as Mom G.’s life ebbed away. “Why aren’t you doing something?” she sobbed. “Let’s bring her back!”

Dr. Kessler stepped forward and lay a gentle but firm hand on her arm. “She has a standing DNR. She was in great pain. She wanted to go.”

Rachel looked down at her mother. Peaceful was the only word she could use to describe her. She was at peace with God.

Slowly Rachel sat back in the chair. A cold numbness seeped into her heart, spreading throughout her body. The two most important people in the world—her mother and Mom G.—had left her behind.

The weight of Josh’s hand on her shoulder brought a fraction of solace to her restless thoughts. But that was an illusion, she reminded herself. A momentary respite from the grief welling up inside.