Susan Mallery - A Christmas Bride - Only Us - A Fool's Gold Holiday / The Sheik and the Christmas Bride

Rina wiped down the grooming table. She’d already finished her last client and was ready to leave. She’d spent most of Monday trying to act normally, all the while avoiding Cameron. A challenging prospect considering her salon was in the middle of his veterinary practice.

“It’s important to be able to spell,” Rina said, unable to think of a good reason and hoping Kaitlyn didn’t ask for one.

The eight-year-old studied her. “Are you sad?”

“No. I’m fine. A little tired. I was busy with adoption-event planning all weekend.”

“Maybe you need a boyfriend.”

Rina did her best not to wince. “Maybe.”

“You can find one on the computer. Daddy’s looking for a girlfriend there. He told me. He was in a chat room yesterday. I told him I wanted you to be his girlfriend, but he said that was out of the question. I never understand when he says that. I didn’t ask a question.” She continued talking but Rina couldn’t hear her over the fury creating a buzz in her ears. Of all the low-life, rat-fink, weasel things to do. Cameron had said they should stay friends and then he’d gone off to some chat room?

She’d been calm. She’d been rational. She’d told herself that if he didn’t want her romantically, that was his right and she would have to get over it. She’d taped her shattered heart back together and had shown up that morning because it was the right thing to do and he’d been in some damn chat room?

“Kaitlyn, will you excuse me for a minute?”

The girl nodded.

“I’ll be right back and then I’ll take you home.”

Rina marched out of her salon. A quick glance at the clock told her that unless there was an emergency, Cameron would be in his office, updating patient records. She walked down the short hall, turned left, then stepped into his office and closed the door behind her.

He glanced up and gave her a smile. She knew that smile, knew everything about his face, the way he walked and how vulnerable he looked when he was tired. She understood his moods, had cared for him when he’d had the flu, had even groomed his dog. She’d loved him and his daughter, offering all she had, including her heart. He’d rejected her and then had gone online looking for love?

“I don’t think so,” she snapped.

The smile faded and wariness invaded his gaze. “What are we talking about?”

They both spoke in low voices. The practice was in an old house and the walls were thin. While Rina wanted to scream, she didn’t want everyone hearing every detail of what could be a very humiliating conversation.

“You went online, looking for a girlfriend?”

He tensed. “Kaitlyn told you.”

“Of course she told me. She tells me everything. She loves me.”

The reality of what she’d just said slammed into her and she had to clutch the bookcase to stay standing. The affection she felt for Kaitlyn went both ways. They needed each other. How was she supposed to fight against that?

“I’m aware of her feelings,” Cameron admitted. “What happened Friday got me thinking about a lot of things. I realized that I haven’t been fair to either of you. I’ve let things go along as they were, without making sure everyone understood the rules.”

By everyone he meant her. Her strength returned and she straightened. And glared.

“So you thought you’d help both of us by looking for a relationship on the computer?” she demanded.

“I thought if I started seeing someone—” He cleared his throat. “—in that way, Kaitlyn would become less attached to you.”

She got the truth then. It cut through her cleanly, a sharp blade against her soft heart.

She’d told herself he wasn’t ready. That he had suffered through a horrible divorce, after his wife had simply walked away from him and their newborn child. She’d convinced herself that he was wary of relationships and love and that given time he would see they were perfect together. She’d thought that Let’s stay friends had meant not now, maybe later. Instead he’d been telling her no.

It wasn’t that Cameron didn’t want to be with anyone, it was that he didn’t want to be with her.

Rina’s eyes burned, but she refused to cry. Not here, not in front of her coworkers and Cameron and most especially not in front of Kaitlyn. Hope and love and dreams battled with cold, hard reality. As much as she wanted to ignore the truth, she couldn’t. Not anymore.

“You’re wrong,” she said slowly. “About finding someone else. I have been there for you all this time. I know you like me and the way you kissed me proves...” She drew in a breath. “But you don’t want to go there. Fine. We won’t. I told you that I loved you and the first thing you did was try to go out with someone else.”

She linked her hands together in front of her waist and thought about what it would be like once he stopped looking and started dating. Of being at his house in the evening, taking care of his child, knowing he was out with someone else. She couldn’t do it.

“I’m leaving.”

He stood. “Leaving? Where are you going? What do you mean?”

She wasn’t sure, but as she stood there, the answer came to her. “After the first of the year, I’ll be moving my business out of here. You’ll need to find someone else to take care of Kaitlyn. I want there to be a gradual transition so she’s not upset, but you need someone else for daycare.”

“You’re cutting us out of your life? You said you wouldn’t do that. I thought you cared about us.”

“You’re wrong. I didn’t care. I don’t care. I love you both.” She stared into his eyes. “That’s a whole lot more than caring.”

“Then stay.”

“No. You don’t get to have it both ways. I’ve spent a year waiting for you to realize I was the one. That’s enough time wasted.”

With that she turned and left. Her heart pounded hard in her chest and she wasn’t sure how long she could keep from crying. The sense of emptiness and loss nearly brought her to her knees. But behind the pain and fear and need to turn back and say, “Yes, fine, half a life is good enough for me,” was the belief that she’d made the right decision.

It hurt now. It more than hurt. But with time and a little determination, she would recover. And, she thought, a little help from Fool’s Gold wouldn’t hurt either.

CHAPTER FOUR

JO’S BAR WAS a gathering place for the women of Fool’s Gold. While the men had a room in back with a pool table and sports playing on TVs, the main portion of the bar was dedicated to women. The walls were painted a skin-flattering mauve, the large-screen TVs featured shopping channels and female-friendly reality shows and the menu included plenty of calorie-light options. During the day, one corner was turned into a play area for toddlers. While Friday and Saturday night brought in the couples crowd, the rest of the time, Jo’s Bar was a place for women to feel comfortable. Or have a good cry.

“You did the right thing,” Jesse said soothingly. “I know you did.”

Rina clutched the tissue in her hand and did her best to stop the steady stream of tears. At the rate she was going, she’d be dehydrated and require emergency medical care within the hour.

“It doesn’t f-feel right,” she said, her voice cracking on a sob. “It feels horrible. Everything hurts. I can’t do this. I can’t go on without him.”

Jesse raised her eyebrows, which made Rina laugh. Well, it was more like a hiccup, but still it was an improvement over the crying.

“That made me sound like a stalker,” she admitted. “Of course I can live without Cameron.” Her humor faded. “I wish I didn’t love him. Or that he loved me back. This sucks.”

“Yes, it does. It hurts and you feel awful.”