Fiona Harper - Don't Go Breaking My Heart - Break Up to Make Up / Always the Best Man

Baby smiles, she decided, were as effective on her armour plating as hydrochloric acid.

Phoebe had just about finished clearing up the mess Adele had made.

‘Phoebe? I’m really sorry about the plate. And…and about lunch too. I wasn’t a very good guest. I’ve just got a lot on my mind at the moment. It was nothing personal.’

Phoebe put down the dustpan and brush and turned to lean her bottom against the counter. ‘Nick?’

‘How did you know?’

‘After the looks you were giving each other over the soup, it wouldn’t take a genius to work out things aren’t peachy in paradise at the moment.’

‘Is it that obvious?’ Adele’s shoulders sagged. ‘We’re supposed to be fooling the rest of his family we’re still madly in love with each other in less than eight hours. The whole thing is going to be a disaster.’

Phoebe tipped her head to one side and looked at the ceiling. ‘And let me guess…the idea to wow the in-laws with a united front was…’ they both nodded and spoke at the same time ‘…his.’

‘Are you psychic as well as being a fantastic cook?’ Adele asked.

Phoebe laughed. ‘You seem to forget that Nick and Andy were obviously separated at birth. I’ve had to put up with similar daft scenarios over the years.’

‘Then what’s your secret? How have you managed to stay with him without wanting to smother him in his sleep?’

Phoebe gave a rueful smile. ‘I have a few techniques I’ve picked up. Parenting books are a mine of useful information. Turns out that treating him as if he actually was a big kid actually works. I ignore the negative behaviour and praise the good stuff.’

Ignoring the bad stuff? Was that possible? Every time Nick pulled one of his stunts it was like a match to the touch paper. Could she really learn to live with his harem-scarem ways?

‘And I’ve learned to roll with the punches, relax a little. I don’t sweat the small stuff any more; I go with the flow.’ Phoebe shrugged. ‘I’ve run out of clichés now.’

Adele laughed and Max bounced up and down in her arms and gurgled too, even though he had no idea what was funny. Phoebe walked over and took Max out of Adele’s arms.

‘Most of all, you have to remember that what they do for a living is create illusions. I don’t know about Nick, but Andy is certainly guilty of forgetting that sometimes his version of reality isn’t the real deal.’

Adele frowned. She hadn’t thought of that. Was that why Super Adele was a constant shadow? What if Nick could see through the illusion to the real Adele underneath?

Funnily enough, that idea filled her with an even greater sense of dread. He’d never known the gawky child that found it hard to make friends and didn’t get the grades her parents had expected. She’d worked hard to turn that all around and be who she was now. And that was the woman Nick had loved, maybe even might still love a little bit.

‘I’d better go and change this one’s nappy.’ Phoebe hoisted Max onto her hip and headed for the door.

‘Phoebe?’

Phoebe halted, hand on door frame.

Adele smiled. ‘Thanks.’

‘No problem. Us special effects widows have to stick together.’

Adele sat down at the kitchen table and rested her chin in her hands. Phoebe made it all sound so easy, but it felt like giving in to Nick to treat him like a wayward toddler. She didn’t want a big kid to discipline; she wanted a partner. Someone to share the burden, not add to it.

She sighed.

Nick was outside playing with bits of metal, and if she didn’t go and get him they would never get to Scotland today. It seemed as if her choice was already made for her.

Nick clenched the steering wheel and tried not to let the words racing round his head burst out on one long, continuous yell.

So much for his brilliant plan.

He’d visualised the visit as the perfect opportunity to show Adele how happy Andy and Phoebe were, and how they had managed to make their different lifestyles mesh together.

Come on! If their home were any more perfect, little cartoon bluebirds would be coming to rest on Phoebe’s fingers when she hung the washing out!

But Adele couldn’t see any of that. She was stuck in her it-can-never-work rut and would not be pulled out of it. The scary thing was, he suspected he was teetering on the edge and was just about to slide down into the ditch to join her.

Where was the funny, sexy woman he’d married? Sure, she’d always been a little high-maintenance, but that was half the fun. When they’d first got together, he could have honestly put his hand on his heart and sworn she was the perfect woman. And even after their big fight, he had still believed it. It was only when she’d shut him out of her life completely that he’d started to suspect she might be slightly tarnished.

And part of him was angry with her for that—for not living up to the promise on the outside of the box.

The swirling words got too much for him and he realised he had to let some of them out before he imploded.

‘What the heck was wrong with you back there, Adele?’

See? She’d always said she wanted the direct approach and now he was giving it to her. She ought to be proud of him.

Adele didn’t move her forehead off the passenger window, but answered in a weary voice. ‘I’m not talking to you when you’re being like this.’

‘Like what? Rude? Like you were at Andy and Phoebe’s?’

She closed her eyes. ‘I didn’t mean to be rude. Just drop it, Nick.’

‘No, I won’t drop it. You embarrassed me in front of my friends. If you ever do something like that again, so help me I’ll—’

‘What? Divorce me? It’s too late for that threat, remember?’

He pressed his teeth together until the muscles at the sides of his jaw started to twitch. He turned the windscreen wipers up a notch to deal with the rain pounding on the car.

The metallic voice of the satellite-navigation system pierced the atmosphere.

‘In thirteen hundred feet, continue right.’

Adele snorted. ‘Continue right? What does that mean?’

He tried to keep his voice even. ‘It means the left-hand lane is about to feed into the slip-road and we need to keep right if we want to stay on the motorway.’

‘Can’t we turn the stupid thing off?’

Nick took his eyes off the road momentarily and looked across at Adele in the passenger seat.

‘What is it about the satellite-navigation system that really bothers you?’

She stiffened. ‘It doesn’t bother me. It’s just unnecessary. We’re on a motorway going north for the next hundred miles at least. All it does is tell us the obvious.’

‘You hate it.’

She fidgeted in her seat.

‘I…Oh…’

‘And shall I tell you why you hate it?’

Adele turned to look at him. He was about to turn psychologist on her? This she had got to hear!

‘Fire away, professor.’

‘You don’t like handing the control over to somebody else, even if it’s just a bit of machinery that could make your life easier.’

‘That is so not true. I use machines at work all the time.’

‘Not the point. You’re so flipping independent, Adele. I’m surprised you actually let your computer crunch numbers for you instead of getting your abacus out and doing it yourself.’

‘Well, that was a very grown-up response. I’m glad you took the time to share that.’

‘Don’t do that.’

‘I’m not doing anything other than trying to be the adult in this scenario.’

‘Well, it’s a pity you didn’t think of that back at Andy and Phoebe’s house, isn’t it? You acted like a spoiled brat, so don’t come all high and mighty and I’m being the grown-up on me!’

Adele folded her arms and glared at what she could see of the carriageway through the driving rain.