Anne Herries - The Regency Season - Hidden Desires - Courted by the Captain / Protected by the Major

Paul was angry enough to take the law into his own hands, but Adam was determined to avoid using more violence than necessary. A thrashing was one thing, but murder was something else. If Paul struck out in anger, killing his victim, it could not bring his brother back.

There was nothing more they could do now until after Mark was laid to rest with his ancestors.

* * *

‘I look terrible in black,’ Lucy said, as she looked at herself in her dressing mirror. ‘Mark would have hated me to wear something like this, I know he would.’ Her eyes filled with tears as she spoke the name of the man she loved. ‘Why did he have to die? I want him back, Jenny. I want him back...’

‘I am sure you do’ Jenny sympathised. ‘I know you loved him.’

‘Mark was to have given me my ring yesterday,’ Lucy said, her throat tight with emotion. ‘We should have dined there last evening amongst friends and our engagement would then have been formally announced to the world—with the wedding at the end of next month, for we did not wish to wait long.’

‘It is so painful for you,’ Jenny said, her throat tight. ‘You must try to get through it as best you can, Lucy dearest. I shall help you as much as I can.’

‘I do not know what I should have done had you not been here,’ Lucy said and sniffed. ‘I wish I need not go, Jenny. Mama says neither of us has to attend the church service unless we wish, but we must be at the reception.’

‘You must decide,’ Jenny told her doubtfully. ‘Mama was always of the opinion that it was not fitting for ladies to attend a funeral—unless it was for a child, husband or parent. Yet it is a matter of choice. I shall abide by your decision.’

‘Papa thinks we should all go since Ravenscar is one of his oldest friends.’

‘For myself I feel it shows respect and I know you would not wish to be lacking in any way, Lucy dearest—but if you really cannot bear it you could tell your mama that you have a terrible headache.’

Lucy sniffed and brushed the tears from her cheeks. ‘No, I shall go—but only to the reception. I do not think I could bear to attend the service and burial.’

‘Then we shall go to the house and wait until your mother and father return with the other guests attending the church. I am certain Lord Ravenscar will understand you are too heartbroken to attend the service.’

Lucy gave a sob and then turned away. As Jenny moved towards her, she swung back to face her and her eyes were bright with a mixture of distress and defiance.

‘Everyone assumes that I’m heartbroken,’ she said, ‘but the truth is I had begun to have doubts. I had intended to speak to Mark and ask if we might wait a little longer.’

‘You were thinking of delaying your wedding?’ Jenny was stunned. ‘Oh, Lucy. I had no idea...’

‘I have been in such turmoil,’ Lucy told her and a little sob broke from her. ‘Our marriage was always the desire of our parents—and Mark was so kind and handsome and generous. I loved him from the time I could walk and he put me up on his horse. Of course I loved him, I cared for him deeply...only I wasn’t sure I wished to be his wife. Sometimes he seemed more like a kind brother than a lover.’

‘Yes, I do understand.’ Jenny nodded. ‘It was as if you were on board a chaise with a runaway horse. You had to hang on because you were afraid to jump off.’

‘You do understand.’ Lucy reached for her hand. ‘I am so glad you are here, Jenny. I could never tell Mama or Papa how I feel, because they would be shocked and even angry with me. I am sad and I do miss Mark—but not in the way people think. It sounds wicked of me, but in a way I am relieved that I shall not have to marry—’ She broke off, her hands flying to her face. ‘I am such a wicked girl to have these terrible thoughts.’

‘Dearest Lucy, you are not in the least wicked,’ Jenny assured her and pulled her hands away. ‘You must not feel ashamed, my love. You cared for Mark as a friend and it is as his friend that you mourn him—and as his friend that you will show your respects today.’

‘I have been thinking that people would think me false and horrid if they knew my true feelings...’

‘Some people might not understand, but I know you, Lucy. I know that your heart is true. You did not wish Mark to die and you would have hated to hurt him had he lived—but I think you must have told him the truth. To have married with so many doubts must have made you both unhappy.’

‘Well, I thought the same—and I’m not certain Mark was truly in love with me. I have thought there might be someone else he liked, but because everyone had assumed we should marry for so long he did not wish to let me down.’

‘He might have been relieved had he lived long enough for you to tell him how you felt,’ Jenny said. ‘I did not know your fiancé well, Lucy, for I met him only once, but from what Adam tells me of him he was a very good person.’

‘Mark was wonderful. Everyone adored him. I loved him, Jenny—but not...not in that way.’

‘I perfectly understand.’ Jenny smiled at her.

‘Yes, of course. You will think me foolish, only...I feel so much better for having told you the truth.’

‘I am glad that I was here,’ Jenny said. ‘Today must be an ordeal for everyone, but it will be over soon enough and then you may start to forget all this unpleasantness.’

‘Yes...’ Lucy looked so woebegone that Jenny sensed there was more, something she had not told her, but she did not press for further confidences. Lucy had unburdened herself as regards her feelings and perhaps now she would be able to face the ordeal before her with a lighter heart. ‘Shall we go down now, dearest? Your mama will be waiting.’

* * *

‘It was unfortunate that it should rain,’ Jenny remarked to Adam later that afternoon. ‘I think it must have made the proceedings uncomfortable.’

‘Fortunately, it left off by the time we had Mark interred in the family crypt,’ Adam said. ‘I must admit the sound of raindrops against the windows was saddening as we listened to the vicar’s sermon.’

‘Yes, indeed.’ Jenny hesitated, then, ‘It may be inappropriate of me to ask—but have you discovered anything of importance yet?’

‘Hallam returned from London just before we left for the church. I believe he has some important news. We have discovered a clue—something that leads us to believe Mark’s death may be the result of a card game he won. It is possible that one of the losers had a grudge against him.’

‘That is quite shocking.’ Jenny’s eyes widened in distress. ‘To take a life in such a cause is wicked—but then, there is never an excusable reason for murder. I am so very sorry.’

‘As you know we are all devastated. I think if Hallam has some clue for us it may help, because we must begin to track down our culprit and find a way to bring him to justice.’

‘That will not be easy,’ Jenny said. ‘For the law to work one must have proof.’ She reached out to take a glass from a footman’s tray and because he jerked it away too soon the wine spilled on to her gown. ‘Oh, how foolish of me...’

‘It was not your fault,’ Adam said to Jenny as the footman apologised.

‘It does not matter. It was an accident. Do not worry, it is an old gown. If you will excuse me, I shall go to the chamber we have been given to refresh ourselves. Please do not scold the man, Adam. Truly, it was my fault.’

She smiled at the unfortunate footman and hurried from the room, running up the stairs. At the top she hesitated, trying to recall if she should go to the left or the right; then, just as she turned to the left she caught sight of a door opening at the far end of the right passage. A man emerged, turning away quickly towards the back stairs. Jenny could not but think that she knew the man, but as he swiftly disappeared from view she did not have long enough to be certain.