Brenda Novak - This Heart of Mine

Even if it wasn’t the perfect choice, he doubted she’d be too critical. No one could ever accuse her of being spoiled. “I guess it’s fine.” They’d already been shopping for two hours and had agonized over their other purchases just as much. Now the mall was about to close, and they still had a ninety-minute drive home. He was anxious to be done.

With a sigh of relief, Kyle turned to the sales associate. “We’ll take it.”

She was heading to the register when Riley stopped her. “Wait! I don’t think that one will fit.” They hadn’t even looked at the tag.

“What size do you need?” she asked.

“A small one,” he replied.

“That doesn’t tell me a lot.” She chuckled. “ How small?”

“We bought something in a size three at the last place,” Kyle told her.

Her heels clicked on the floor as she approached the rack where Kyle had found the dress. “I’m afraid this brand only comes in even numbers—zero, two, four. And I doubt we have a zero. We don’t get many of those. Is there someone you could call or text to ask?”

Kyle took out his phone. “Maybe one of our female friends has seen Phoenix since she’s been home,” he said, but Riley stopped him before he could dial.

“I doubt they have. And it doesn’t matter, anyway, because no one’s supposed to know about this, remember?”

“We can trust Callie, Eve or Cheyenne!” Kyle said.

“The fact that I’m pitching in on this is just between you and me,” Riley insisted.

Kyle scowled. “If it’s not going to get back to Phoenix, what does it matter?”

After everything he’d said through the years, it would seem like too much of a contradiction. And he didn’t want to deal with the questions his buying clothes for her would raise, or what the rest of the gang might surmise from his answers. “We agreed.”

Kyle shoved his phone back in his pocket. “So...what do we do? Make another guess?”

“That’s what we’ve done so far, isn’t it? You said yourself she can always return or exchange.” At least he’d known her shoe size...

“If she can walk all the way to Sacramento,” he muttered. “I wasn’t really thinking of the logistics when I said that.”

“With any luck, all the stuff will fit or she’ll figure out how to get back here and return the things that don’t.” Riley picked up the bags he’d put on the floor. “We’re just dropping this shit on her doorstep and leaving it at that.”

Kirsten obviously didn’t overhear a conversation like this every day. “Who’s the lucky recipient?” she asked, her gaze darting between them.

“An old acquaintance.” Riley had no intention of explaining more than that, even though he could tell she was curious.

“Maybe someone could give her a ride if it doesn’t fit,” she said, as if she’d easily solved that problem.

Riley ignored the comment. She couldn’t know that after spending nearly seventeen years in prison Phoenix had far fewer resources and friends than most people. “We’ll take a two or a four. Your choice.”

“ My choice?” she said in surprise.

“If it helps, she’s small, maybe a hundred pounds, but she’s not flat or anything,” Kyle told her. “She’s got a really nice, um, figure.”

“I see.” As Kirsten turned to sort through the rest of the dresses, Riley shot Kyle a dirty look.

“What?” Kyle murmured.

“She’s got a really nice figure?”

He spread out his hands. “It’s the truth!”

“A hundred pounds isn’t much,” Kirsten mused, concentrating hard enough that she seemed oblivious to what they were saying behind her. “I haven’t weighed that since I was twelve. So...I’m thinking a two.”

“That’ll work,” Kyle said, but he would’ve responded the same way no matter what she recommended. They had no idea what they were doing.

“Here we go.” A pleasant smile curved her lips. “Will there be anything else?”

“We’d like one more outfit,” Riley said.

“For the same woman?” she asked.

“Yes.”

She draped the dress over her arm. “Something similar to this or...?”

“Maybe some shorts?”

“Got it.”

When she set off to fulfill Riley’s request, Kyle lowered his voice. “What about underwear?”

“What about it?”

“Don’t you think we should get her some?”

“Hell, no!” He wasn’t about to look at lingerie with Phoenix in mind.

At his unequivocal response, Kyle frowned. “Look, I’m not an only child, like you. I have a sister, so maybe I’m more comfortable with this. But a woman’s got to have underwear. And we passed a Victoria’s Secret store. I say we stop there on our way out, grab a handful of panties and a bra and be done with it.”

Riley stretched his neck. To continue to refuse would only make him seem immature. Kyle was just being practical. But Riley had slept with Phoenix. Of course he’d conjure up images and memories best forgotten. He’d been with only one other girl before her, an older girl who’d approached him at a party with one thing in mind. It had been more of an initiation than anything. But as much as he didn’t want to acknowledge it, even to himself, what he’d experienced with Phoenix had been different—all about mutual discovery and young love. She didn’t realize it, but their breakup had been almost as hard on him. He’d trusted his parents to know what was best for him, and yet he’d never felt sure they were right. “No one had better find out about this.”

Kyle slapped him on the back. “They won’t.”

“Including her .”

“It’s a doorbell ditch. She’ll never catch us.”

“We’re not ringing the damn bell. She can find whatever we leave in the morning. It’s not like it’s going to rain.”

The saleswoman was on her way back, arms full. “Do you like any of these?”

Kyle sifted through the various styles of shorts and shirts she’d collected. “I bet the cutoffs would look nice.”

The saleswoman seemed pleased with his choice. “Would you like to purchase them, too? Maybe with this purple shirt?”

He scratched his head. “I’m not sure about the shirt. I’m not big on purple.”

As they walked over to see about getting the shirt in a different color, Riley wandered through the rest of the store. They’d already bought Phoenix an expensive pair of running shoes, some flip-flops, a pair of “skinny” jeans and a white, lacy tank top. As far as he was concerned, except for underwear, they were finished. But when he turned around to go over to the register, he caught sight of an aquamarine top that looked as if it would match those stormy eyes of hers.

“You coming?” Kyle called.

Riley almost walked off without it. They had enough. But at the last second, he changed his mind and went back.

“Do you want that instead of the pink one we just got?” Kyle asked when he saw what Riley was carrying.

“No, we’ll get this one, too,” he replied. “I’m sure she could use an extra top.”

“You’re spending a lot of money,” his friend complained.

“What are you talking about?” He took out his wallet. “I’m paying half, so you’re still in it for less than you planned.”

“That’s all well and good. But I don’t want you to blame me later for what this cost you, just because it was my idea. You’re the one who’s running up the bill. You insisted on getting the more expensive tennis shoes.” He checked the tag on the shirt. “And this is sixty dollars!”

They could swing sixty bucks for someone who’d never had much of anything. He’d used the same rationale when considering the running shoes. Although he was probably a fool for getting involved in this—it made Phoenix sympathetic to him when he was hoping to keep her at a distance—he was starting to get excited now that they were finished with all the style and size choices. He kept imagining the relief these things would bring her, and that made him feel good despite the ambiguity of the past—or perhaps because of it. “It’ll only be thirty dollars since we’re splitting it,” he said, and watched the salesgirl ring it up.