Kathleen Tessaro - The Flirt

KATHLEEN TESSARO

THE FLIRT

This novel is entirely a work of fiction.

The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are

the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to

actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is

entirely coincidental.

Published by HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

1

Copyright © Kathleen Tessaro 2008

The author asserts the moral right to

be identified as the author of this work

A catalogue record for this book

is available from the British Library

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

Ebook Edition © 2008 ISBN: 9780007330676

Version: 2017-12-08

Praise for Kathleen Tessaro’s previous bestsellers:

‘More heart than you’ll ever find on a catwalk … written with élan and panache.’

Daily Mail

‘It’s friendship, not elegance, that proves Louise’s real saviour, and the friendships that develop through the book are drawn carefully and with insight.’

Independent

‘A perfect pick-me-up.’

Cosmopolitan

‘It’s surprising that this is Kathleen Tessaro’s first novel as her style shows the confidence and ease of a more seasoned writer. A charming, entertaining novel.’

Punch

Copyright

Praise

Chapter 1 - La Vie Bohème

Chapter 2 - A Self-Made Woman

Chapter 3 - Tea for Table Five

Chapter 4 - 45 Chester Square

Chapter 5 - Free Lunch or a Shag

Chapter 6 - Armenian Plumbers

Chapter 7 - The King of the Tennis Ball

Chapter 8 - A Stranger at the Garrick Club

Chapter 9 - 111 Half Moon Street

Chapter 10 - A Subtle Twist of Fate

Chapter 11 - The Interview

Chapter 12 - The Rules

Chapter 13 - Professional Massagers of the Female Ego

Chapter 14 - La Dame aux Camélias

Chapter 15 - High Tea at Claridge’s

Chapter 16 - A Brief History of the Professional Flirt (A Small Digression)

Chapter 17 - The World’s Most Exclusive Hairdresser

Chapter 18 - Another Moriarty Original

Chapter 19 - A Man’s World

Chapter 20 - Nick the Nose

Chapter 21 - Make Me a Willow Cabin at Your Gate

Chapter 22 - The Cardinal Rule (A Moment of Silence, Please, for Freddie)

Chapter 23 - A Clean Break

Chapter 24 - The Ghost Chair

Chapter 25 - The C Word

Chapter 26 - Breakfast at Graff

Chapter 27 - Professional Massagers of the Female Ego at Large (Part One)

Chapter 28 - Professional Massagers of the Female Ego at Large (Part Two)

Chapter 29 - No Ordinary Mark

Chapter 30 - Drip, Drip, Drip

Chapter 31 - Professional Massagers of the Female Ego at Large (Part Three)

Chapter 32 - To the Lighthouse

Chapter 33 - The Savoy

Chapter 34 - All Hail Athena

Chapter 35 - Love According to Flick

Chapter 36 - The History of the Cyrano (Another Digression)

Chapter 37 - The Perfect Plan

Chapter 38 - The Perfect Plan (Hughie’s Version)

Chapter 39 - Venus Blinks

Chapter 40 - The Invitation

Chapter 41 - On the House

Chapter 42 - It’s Me … Emily

Chapter 43 - Walk with Me

Chapter 44 - Into the Care of Mr Lewis

Chapter 45 - International Polo Player

Chapter 46 - Leticia Eats

Chapter 47 - The Last Resort

Chapter 48 - The Next Generation

Chapter 49 - Waiting

Chapter 50 - Meant for Better Things

Chapter 51 - A Suitable Client

Chapter 52 - Unusual

Chapter 53 - The Opera

Chapter 54 - Liberty

Chapter 55 - Professional

Chapter 56 - Perspective

Chapter 57 - Two for the Price of One

Chapter 58 - Domestic Harmony

Chapter 59 - Faux Pas

Chapter 60 - Speed

Chapter 61 - A Deadly Virus

Chapter 62 - The Good Wife

Chapter 63 - A Cold November Evening

Chapter 64 - Life Jogs On

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Also by Kathleen Tessaro

About the Publisher

The ad appeared in the Stage in the second week of September, when the Edinburgh Festival was officially over and real life made its unpleasant appearance again in the collective consciousness of the large number of unemployed young actors who populate the London area.

It read:

Unique situation available for an attractive, well-mannered, morally flexible young man. Hours irregular. Pay generous. Discretion a must.

Please send photo and brief romantic history to:

Valentine Charles

111 Half Moon Street

Mayfair, London

Hughie Armstrong Venables-Smythe was sitting at his usual table, next to the window in Jack’s Café, armed with a pen he’d nicked from the waitress, a strong cup of builder’s tea and his mobile phone, which was running out of credit. Outside, the sun was radiant, the air sharp with a brisk autumn breeze. Elderly shoppers, dragging battered tartan trolleys, paused to examine the merits of the half-price bleach in pink plastic baskets outside the Everything For a Pound shop on Kilburn High Road. Others hurled themselves into bargaining sessions with the red-faced Irish butcher, his bacon suspiciously reasonable.

Here, Hughie was among his people; living the front-line, hand-to-mouth existence of a jobbing actor in NW6, still quite a rough neighbourhood according to his mother, despite the recent boom in house prices.

Spotting the ad, he circled it and leant back, satisfied. In his trade, buying the Stage and circling ads was considered an entire day’s work. He lit a fresh cigarette to celebrate.

He’d only just started smoking; Marlboro Lights. It was a disgusting habit. He’d picked it up from his girlfriend Leticia, who was full of the most delightfully disgusting habits known to man, of which smoking was easily the most socially acceptable. At twenty-three, it made him feel sophisticated. But then Hughie needed all the help he could get, especially as Leticia was a great deal older than him and more sophisticated than he was ever likely to be. Although they’d only been (he was thinking of calling it ‘going out’. But was it really going out if in fact you never went anywhere or did anything but just met several times a week in strange, dark places to have wild, wordless, pornographic sex? Probably not. The proper social heading was more likely to be ‘seeing one another’, which they’d only been doing for about two weeks), Hughie was already violently in love.

Ah, Leticia!