Holly Peterson - The Manny

‘OK, so maybe I’m interested in a really good job that’s high-paying. What kind of job?’

I took a breath. ‘It’s complicated.’ I needed a few seconds to come up with my marketing strategy.

‘OK.’

‘I have a son. He’s nine. He’s, well, he’s kind of down. A bit depressed even.’

‘Clinically depressed?’ Now I had his full attention.

‘Well, no, there’s no formal diagnosis, he just had some panic attacks. Can’t perform at sports any more really because of them.’

‘And how do you see me fitting into this?’

‘Well, I don’t know, maybe the chess …’

‘I know how to play chess. But I’m not a chess tutor. Though the high-paying part might make me a good chess tutor.’ He grinned.

‘Well, not just a chess tutor exactly, but yes, why not, some of that.’

‘I see.’

My cell phone buzzed inside my purse. I reached to turn off the ring tone and saw Goodman was calling. Maybe he wanted more Windex.

‘Look, you need to get back to them and I have somewhere I’m supposed to be. You have my card. If you wouldn’t mind, please call me in the morning and I’ll tell you more.’

‘Sure. I’ll call you. Nice to meet you.’

I stopped for a moment and then walked back to him. ‘Can I just ask you one thing?’

He nodded.

‘How did one person get thirty-two kids with huge papier mâché contraptions on their heads into the middle of Central Park?’

‘Hey. I didn’t do anything. I had help: them. ’ Then he turned back to the kids.

And as I wandered back to the West Side, I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.

‘So!’ I had no idea what to say.

Peter Bailey looked at me expectantly. He sat in a chair across from my desk at work wearing khakis and a white button-down shirt. I found his stillness strangely intimidating. I couldn’t figure out why I felt so ill at ease if I was hiring him .

‘So, thank you for calling me back,’ I said.

‘Thank you for asking.’

‘So!’

‘Yes?’

‘Did you get here OK?’

‘This building is on one of the biggest intersections in Manhattan. Avenue of the Americas and 57th Street is pretty easy to find, you know.’

‘It is. Yes. I …’

‘Cool seeing a newsroom behind the scenes.’

He took in the hundreds of tapes lining my office shelves, each categorized by topic and show with huge letters on the spines. Two colourful posters advertising a past broadcast inside the CIA and a ‘groundbreaking’ West Bank town meeting filled the walls on either side of my desk.

‘Yeah, it’s kind of messy behind the anchor desk.’

‘Not in here.’ Next to me were four newspapers neatly piled in a descending row and my office supplies in their black wire baskets on my credenza: Sharpies and Post-its in every colour, little boxes with drawers for different sizes of metallic binder clips, legal pads and reporter’s notebooks in perfect bunches.

‘You’ve worked for Joe Goodman for a long time?’ he asked.

‘Ten years. Since I started out here. I was twenty-six.’

‘What’s he like?’

‘Great mind, lyrical writer. But, well, he’s demanding, let’s just say that.’ I didn’t want to tell a manny candidate that Goodman was cranky, crusty and usually ungrateful.

‘Yeah, seems like he’s pretty full of himself.’ Peter pointed to the enormous portraits of Goodman lining the hallways outside my office: one of Anchor Monster in front of an armoured personnel carrier dressed in a Kevlar vest and a blue UN helmet, another next to Boris Yeltsin on a tank and another with cameras and lights visible as he interviewed Lauren Bacall who threw her head back laughing as if he’d asked her the most brilliant question in the world.

‘You watch the show?’

‘Not really.’

Most people would at least pretend.

‘You’re at your computer a lot, I guess. I read on your résumé that you’re developing this online software? So doesn’t that take up a lot of time?’

‘The hours are flexible. The software program – I’m calling it Homework Helper by the way – will, I hope, change the way students in public schools communicate with their teachers. It’ll help them collaborate on assignments. Some people tell me it may be quite lucrative once the schools catch on.’

I liked this guy. I had no idea if this software thing was some lofty plan or if it had legs, but he seemed focused and assured underneath his scrappy exterior.

‘Well, that certainly sounds like it will be a full-time job. And if that happens, I worry you’ll …’

‘The software program isn’t a job. It’s an idea. And I believe it’s going to be big at some point, but, truth is, I’m not there yet.’

My phone rang. ‘So sorry. Give me a second … Jamie Whitfield.’

I should never have picked up the receiver.

‘Oh thank God you’re there.’

‘Who is this?’

‘It’s me, Christina.’ Christina Patten. One of the great airheads of our time and the class mom at Gracie’s nursery school class. ‘Christina, I’m in the mid—’

‘Sorry, Jamie, I just have one really really important question. I mean, on the scale of things, I guess it’s not crucial, but it’s just one of those things you have to get right.’

Balancing the receiver between my ear and shoulder, I reached awkwardly into the fridge behind my desk and pulled out two small Evian bottles and handed one to Peter. I’d missed what Christina was saying, but I figured the world would still turn.

‘… I mean, you’re a professional producer, right? So you should know. I’m sure you’re soooo great at organizing. That’s why I’m calling you on this.’

‘Christina, I really hate to rush you, but it’s just not the most convenient …’

‘Here’s the thing. Do you think I should bring the medium-sized dessert paper plates for Grandparents’ Day, or do you think I should bring the larger lunch-size plates?’

Surely she had to be kidding .

‘I mean, do you think the grandparents will be putting fruit salad and mini muffins on their plates? Or do you think it will be fruit salad and mini muffins and a half-bagel? Because if you really think it’s a half-bagel too, then I want to get the big ones. But if not, I don’t want the plate to look empty even though they have kind of filled it with a mini muffin and some fruit.’

‘Christina. It’s not the Normandy invasion. I know you’re really trying to pick the best thing, but just trust your instincts and …’

‘A big plate with just a mini muffin and fruit salad? It wouldn’t work, and I think it would look really sad. That’s what my instincts are telling me.’

‘I agree. That would be sad, Christina. I think they’ll eat a bagel and mini muffin too. Go for the big plates. That’s my expert advice.’

‘Are you sure? Because …’

‘Positive. And I really really have to go now!’

Click.

I looked at Peter. ‘I’m sorry, just domestic nonsense.’ Not the smartest thing I could say at an interview with an overqualified guy to fix the problems in my domestic life.

The digital clock on my desk blinked to the next minute. He was so still in his chair.

He leaned in closer. The leather on the chair squeaked. ‘And what, exactly, do you have in mind?’

I’d been vague on purpose. I’d learned from Goodman that it’s best to use the phone to lure someone into a face-to-face meeting first. Then you hit him or her with what you really want in person. I didn’t want to lose this guy because I’d given him some half-baked manny overview on the phone.