PENNY JORDAN - Silk

Was this what growing up was? Learning not to trust others, learning not to rely on them or to accept them at face value? Learning to accept that where there was love there was also pain? Could she bear all of that? Sorrowfully and with a heavy heart Amber acknowledged that she must bear it.

Never again would she put her feelings on such open display, she promised herself. That Amber was gone. The Amber that would grow from her would be different; wiser, and less vulnerable. Less ready to trust so easily.

Chapter Eleven

May 1930

The weeks were flying by so fast now, that Amber felt she barely had time to draw breath.

Under the strict chaperonage of the countess, she and Beth had attended luncheon parties, fashionable race meetings, afternoon teas and, of course, night after night of parties and coming-out balls.

A group of debs, including Beth and Amber, had even been taken to the Kit-Cat Club where they had all sat excitedly together, trying not to look too awed to see the Prince of Wales there with his entourage.

Amber had looked to see if she could see Lord Robert, even though she knew from Beth that he was visiting friends in Yorkshire. She hadn’t seen him since the night of the ball, and although she had tried not to do so, she still missed the fun they had had together, even if she no longer felt that little flutter of her heart whenever she thought of him.

Someone she and Beth were sure they had seen at the club, though, had been Louise seated in a corner with her escort, whom Beth swore was George Ponsonby.

‘Louise will ruin her reputation; no one will want to marry her,’ Beth had prophesied.

Although Amber and Louise slept under the same roof, Amber and Beth had been so busy attending the functions to which they had both been invited that Amber barely saw Louise any more.

She and Beth had tried their first cigarette, giggling together as they did so. Poor Beth had been dreadfully sick and Amber had felt almost as unwell.

It was hard to believe that it was over a month since her own ball, Amber thought, as she sat down to her breakfast, having said ‘Good morning’ to Lady Rutland.

Amber was drinking her coffee when Louise came in and sat down at the table, immediately lighting up a cigarette. Her nails were varnished a deep shade of red and the way she inhaled and then blew out a cloud of cigarette smoke was incredibly sophisticated, Amber thought slightly enviously.

Lady Rutland, who had begun to frown disapprovingly the moment Louise had lit her cigarette, announced sharply, ‘Amber, if you have finished your breakfast, I would like to speak with Louise alone.’

Although she had closed the door as she left the breakfast room Amber could still hear Lady Rutland telling Louise angrily, ‘Put that cigarette out at once, Louise. I will not have you smoking at the table, and what is this I have heard about you being seen in some nightclub with a man?’

Not wanting to eavesdrop Amber hurried upstairs.

She had been in her bedroom a matter of minutes when Louise burst in without knocking, plainly in a furious temper.

‘It was you who told Mummy about me being with George at the Kit-Cat Club, wasn’t it, you little sneak?’

‘No,’ Amber defended herself. ‘It wasn’t.’ Louise no longer had the power to intimidate her. Her confidence had soared since Lord Robert had taken her under his wing and Beth had returned from her finishing school in Paris to renew their friendship.

‘You told her because you’re jealous,’ Louise stormed, ignoring Amber’s response. ‘You want him for yourself. Well, you’re wasting your time. George would never look at someone like you, whose family are in trade.’

Amber didn’t bother dignifying Louise’s insult with a response. It was laughable that Louise should think she was interested in George Ponsonby. Amber thought he was selfish and self-serving, and didn’t find him in the least bit attractive.

‘Mummy can say what she likes,’ Louise continued angrily, ‘I’m not going to stop seeing him.’

Louise had gone before Amber could say anything, slamming the door behind her.

‘I can’t imagine ever doing something that Mummy had forbidden me to do,’ Beth told Amber, after Amber had related the incident to Beth later in the day.

They were in the countess’s private sitting room in the Levingtons’ Belgrave Square house, waiting for the countess, who was to accompany them to a luncheon party at the Savoy Hotel.

There was a copy of The Times on the countess’s desk, and Amber noticed that its main story contained yet more bad news about the growing number of unemployed. Jay had mentioned in his last letter that several of Macclesfield’s mills had had to lay men off because of the slump in trade that had followed the previous year’s Wall Street crash.

One could see poor people begging everywhere in London, and the Labour government seemed no more able to mend matters than the Conservatives had been.

‘Mummy will be here soon,’ Beth told Amber. ‘There’s something she wants to discuss with you, but I’m not supposed to say anything. Oh—’

Beth stopped speaking as her mother came into the room and looked at them, shaking her head at Beth wryly, before turning to Amber to smile and say, ‘Amber, my dear, the débutante dances will soon be at an end, and I was wondering if your grandmother has discussed her plans for you for the summer?’

‘Grandmother hasn’t mentioned anything in her letters,’ she answered the countess shyly, not sure where the conversation was leading.

‘Very well, in that case I shall write to her to ask her permission for you to accompany us to the South of France next month – that is, of course, if you are happy for me to do so?’

If she was happy? Could it really be in any doubt?

‘Oh, yes. Yes, thank you,’ Amber responded fervently.

How could she not be thrilled at the thought of spending the summer in the South of France, and with Beth, her best friend in the whole world?

She gave Beth a look of gratitude, which Beth returned with an excited smile.

The countess went on to inform Amber that their party was going to include Beth’s father, the earl, and their eldest son, Henry, Viscount Hollowes, both of whom were currently in Australia where, as Beth had already told Amber, her father had business interests in a sheep station and in mining. They would also be joined by the nursery party, comprising Beth’s two younger brothers and the baby of the family, her sister, Arabella, and that they would be staying in Juan-les-Pins where the earl was renting a villa for the summer.

‘I’m so happy that you’ll be coming to the South of France with us,’ Beth confided excitedly to Amber later over luncheon. ‘It’s going to be such fun.’

‘Yes,’ Amber agreed.

She could hardly take it in that she was to visit the South of France, the haunt of so many famous artists. She couldn’t wait to see the places and the colours that inspired them. It would be a relief not to be constantly looking over her shoulder to see if she could see Lord Robert too.

The South of France. How very lucky she was to have such a good friend as Beth and how grateful she was to the countess for inviting her to join them.

‘But you said you were going to take me somewhere exciting, not some dingy horrid hotel in Brighton,’ Louise objected, taking several nervy drags on her cigarette.

They were standing in the bedroom of the hotel and although she had known all along what George had in mind, now that she was confronted with the unattractive reality of their surroundings, defying her mother for the delicious thrill of taking such a dangerous risk no longer seemed either exciting or glamorous. And, in fact, somehow George himself no longer cut the dashing figure here in these drab surroundings as he had done in the prim drawing rooms of Mayfair and the correspondingly louche nightclubs.