Kendall Ryan - Hard to Love

MacKenzie swatted Tyson’s hand away from my thigh. ‘No, Ty. I get to help pick him out. Sort of a birthday present.’ She smiled.

I rolled my eyes, blowing off their suggestions. I was not picking out a random guy to sleep with on my twenty-first birthday. And I sure as hell wasn’t sleeping with Tyson. Gah! Could you imagine? He’s like a brother to me.

‘Oh my God! Alexa, look.’ MacKenzie pointed across the bar. ‘It’s the guy from the website.’

Cade

I sat at the bar nursing a beer, lost in my thoughts.

‘You want a nipple on that bottle, man? Stop being a little bitch and drink up,’ Ian said, knocking back his own beer in a few swallows.

I shot him a warning look. ‘Don’t fuck with me tonight, I’m not in the mood.’ I’d been hell-bent on getting drunk tonight, needing a few hours’ peace from the worry that constantly followed me around, but somehow I was failing even at that. ‘Lily’s latest surgery bill came.’

‘Sorry, man.’ Ian tipped his beer, clinking the bottle against mine. ‘Let me know if I can help.’

I nodded. I’d never ask him for help, and we both knew it, but still, just that he offered meant a lot. Ian and I had been friends since the eighth grade when I moved here to live with my grandparents. He knew all about my sister Lily, and the condition that left her poor little spine and legs tangled and twisted. After my parents’ three-strikes-you’re-out meth bust that landed them both in prison when she was three, and my grandparents each passing within a year after that, I’d had sole custody of her. She was six now and a sassy little thing that didn’t know the meaning of the word disabled. It was one of the many things I loved about that little girl. But her care wasn’t cheap, which left me constantly worrying about money.

Ian, a lifelong martial-arts enthusiast, had introduced me to cage fighting a couple of years ago. It was a perfect fit. The opportunity to earn fast money and take out my pent-up aggression all at once. But it wasn’t enough. And then my latest dumbass venture came along. Rick had approached both Ian and I, but I was the only one hard up enough for cash to consider it. Or the only one dumb enough, take your pick. Ian knew I was working for Rick, but didn’t want any of the details, so of course I hadn’t mentioned my late-night visit to the ER.

After getting the bill for Lily’s latest surgery, I realized it wasn’t just a well-paying job I needed, it was one that came with health insurance, too. But if I could stick it out and film even a couple of videos, I’d have more than enough to pay the bill. Then I could focus on cleaning up my act and getting a real job, for Lily’s sake.

Realizing I was lost in my thoughts again, Ian cleared his throat. ‘Stop stressing, bro. You get plenty of that during the week. We haven’t been out in God knows how long, and since you have a babysitter for Lil tonight, we need to make good use of this time.’

‘Yeah? And how do we do that?’ Hitting the gym for a late workout session, followed by a hot shower and my bed sounded like a perfectly good use of my time. I didn’t even think I was capable of catching a buzz at the moment.

‘For starters, we need to make getting some pussy priority number one.’

I shook my head, not about to explain to him that tomorrow I’d be getting plenty of that on set. And with that bill hanging over my head, I sure as shit needed to perform this time.

Ian tipped his head toward a booth across the room. ‘And I think you’re in luck, bro. Those girls over there are staring at you.’

I turned from the bar, drawing my beer up to my lips as I scanned the room. With a jolt of surprise, I spotted the pretty little nurse from the other night, seated in a booth with a couple of friends.

What the hell?

The other woman at the table waved me over.

‘Do you know them?’ he asked.

‘Yeah. Sorta.’ I threw a few bills on the counter and told Ian I’d see him later. I sauntered over to where they sat.

‘Hey there, sexy,’ Alexa’s friend said, trailing her fingers down my forearm. ‘Saw your website. That shit was hot.’

My eyes flew to Alexa’s. She’d told her friends about what I did? And what… Googled me? ‘Alexa?’

She blushed and bit her bottom lip. ‘Hi Cade.’

She wasn’t even going to deny it? I supposed I had to get used to the fact that pictures of my cock were splashed all over the Internet, and that videos would soon follow. I had a film shoot tomorrow that I had to get through. I’d given Rick a piece of my mind about hiring girls that looked so young, and he promised he’d pair me with Mollie, an experienced pro I was sure to love, if I gave it another shot.

‘Have a seat, Cade. Or is it Sebastian?’ Alexa’s friend asked. ‘I’m MacKenzie by the way, and this is Tyson.’ She motioned to the guy seated with them. He gave me a weak smile, looking just as uncomfortable as I was.

I remained standing. ‘Call me Cade.’

Alexa’s gaze travelled down the length of my chest and stomach, stopping just below my belt buckle. I couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at my mouth, and she knew she had just been caught. She let out a huff of breath, folded her arms on the table and lay her head down to rest.

‘Is she drunk?’ I slid in next to her.

MacKenzie nodded, proudly. ‘Yep. It’s her twenty-first birthday.’

‘Happy birthday.’

Alexa peeked one eye open and looked up at me. ‘Thanks,’ she grumbled before letting her eyes fall closed again.

‘Perfect timing,’ MacKenzie said, leaning forward on her elbows. ‘We were just discussing Lex’s birthday present.’

Alexa roused from her sleepy state and slapped a hand over MacKenzie’s mouth. ‘No, Kenz.’

MacKenzie dutifully removed Alexa’s hand and squeezed it, before placing it on the table. ‘Hush. You should be thanking me right now. You see, Alexa here is a virgin, and what better birthday present than to lose her virginity to someone skilled at giving female pleasure? I mean, you do this for a living.’ She kicked up an eyebrow. ‘Right?’

I pulled back a swig of my beer. Was she fucking kidding me? ‘Well, yeah, I might know a thing or two about that…’ I took another mouthful from my bottle to shut myself up. I mean, sure, nobody had ever complained before, but that didn’t mean I was the hotshot porn star they saw on the website. Except they all thought I was. Hell.

Alexa looked up and met my gaze, her eyes wide with curiosity. Christ . She couldn’t look at me like that, or I wasn’t going to be able to hold it together.

Even though I believed it, I had a hard time understanding how she could still be a virgin on her twenty-first birthday. She was beautiful, pure and innocent. Her hair flowed in soft curls over her shoulders, resting just at the top of her full breasts. She was fucking perfection, and she didn’t even know it. Her skin looked so soft, I wanted to reach across the table and stroke my thumb along her cheek just to prove to myself that it couldn’t possibly be as soft as it looked. I settled instead for taking another drink. At this rate, I was going to need another beer really soon.

MacKenzie raised her glass in the air, as if to toast herself. ‘Best idea ever!’ She signaled the waitress and asked for a round of shots for the table. ‘Patron okay?’

I nodded my indifference. Mostly I just wanted to know what Alexa was thinking right at that moment and what exactly she had told her friends about me.

The shots arrived and I took the glass from Alexa’s fumbling fingertips. ‘No more for you, cupcake.’ I downed both my shot and hers, one after the other, the liquor burning on its way down.