Aprilynne Pike - Life After Theft

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Kimberlee’s dead. Has been for a while, actually.Stuck haunting the halls of her high school, she’s doomed to an afterlife of boredom. That is until the new kid shows up.The first thing Jeff spots is Kimberlee lying on the floor as other students walk right through her. Pretty soon she’s harangued him into helping her escape to the afterlife.Kimberlee guesses that once Jeff rights her mean girl wrongs she’ll be able to move on. But nothing is simple in life after death…Clash meets sass in this uproarious modern-day retelling of Baroness Orczy's The Scarlet Pimpernel, by #1 New York Times bestselling author.

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I looked up at her and nodded slightly.

“From who? You can’t get some loser invite and think you’re actually in because a nerd managed to get info.”

For some reason, after our run-in on the first day, I didn’t want to admit to Kimberlee that it had been Langdon. Besides, that preppy guy had chimed in, too. That was good enough, right? Since it was a little hard to describe a guy who was dressed just like everyone else—you never realize how much you use clothes to describe people until you go to a uniformed school where everyone is a freaking clone—I drew a quick diagram to point out the preppy guy who’d piped up.

Kimberlee glanced back at him. “Neil?” She raised her eyebrows, considering. Even looking a little bit impressed. “Okay, you’re in.” She grinned now. “Awesome. See? It’s totally the hair.”

Sad thing is, she was probably right.

When the lunch bell rang a couple hours later, I froze as I was zipping up my backpack. I’d been so focused on Kimberlee yesterday that I hadn’t bothered with the whole lunch ritual. Halle and me and an old bag of chips I found under the seat made for a cozy luncheon.

Now, unless I wanted to be that guy who sat by himself every day, I had to find an actual table.

And hope I hadn’t already blown my shot by being Mr. Nonsocial yesterday. This is serious stuff! Which is why Kimberlee found me standing in the middle of the cafeteria holding a full lunch tray, suffering an acute case of analysis paralysis.

“What are you doing, loser?” she asked.

“Ummmmmm . . .” I answered honestly.

She paused for a moment, then sighed. “I really should just leave you alone and let you make a fool out of your- self, but seriously, Jeff, what kind of impression do you think you’re going to make standing here while your lunch gets cold? Go sit the hell down!”

She did have a point.

I was about to head to a half-full table and attempt to make small talk with total strangers when Sera breezed through the doorway.

With the big dude wearing the letterman’s jacket.

Crap.

I looked down at my tray and decided my mashed potatoes were in dire need of some extra pepper. I turned around and headed back to the condiment station, futzing with the small pepper shaker way longer than I could rationally justify, but most likely, no one was watching me.

Probably.

Sera made it to the end of the line and turned. She met my eyes almost immediately; probably something to do with the heat that was building up on the back of her head where I’d been staring for the last two minutes. She looked down almost nervously and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. I figured that would be it, but after a second, she looked up and smiled shyly. I wondered how soon my life would end at wrestler-guy’s hands if I smiled back.

I took the risk.

After a second she looked away and started walking toward the opposite end of the condiment station. Still, I’d take what little victories I could.

To my surprise, Mikhail didn’t follow her; he went and sat at a table with a group of guys as muscular as he was. Well, almost as muscular. Sera headed toward a rapidly filling table on the other side of the room.

She was about ten feet away—and I was about ready to admit defeat and sit alone—when she paused and looked back at me.

“Hey, it’s Jeff, right?”

Seriously? “Uh, yeah,” I said with great bucketloads of suave.

“You look . . . lost.”

Lost?

“You want to come sit with me and some friends—for today, anyway?”

A half-assed invitation; I’ll take it. I grinned—probably sappily—and muttered something affirmative before falling into step behind her.

“Don’t forget the boyfriend and all the bones in your body that he can breee-aaaaaak,” Kimberlee called in a sing- song voice as I walked away from her. I resisted the urge to flip her off.

As we sat down I noticed that Sera caught Mikhail’s eye across the room and smiled.

One problem at a time, I reminded myself. I was already just glad she was more than an incredibly pretty face. I mean, she’d asked me—a new nobody—to come sit with her. At the very least that meant she was nice.

“Hey, who’s your friend, Sera?” a girl with brown hair and glittery eye shadow asked, eyeing me a little like I was a piece of meat.

It was very strange.

“Oh, this is Jeff, guys. He’s new.” Then she set her tray down and started pointing around the table and rattled off about a dozen names. There was a Hampton and a Jasmine, some guy named Wilson, and I think there were two Jewels. Glitter-girl was named Brynley—or Breelee? Something like that. What was wrong with the parents in this city? Hadn’t anyone ever heard of naming their kids Kevin or Amber or anything even remotely mainstream?

“So,” one of the Jewels said when Sera was done. “Where’re you from?”

“Me?” Duh. “Phoenix.”

“Ooh, do you have rattlesnakes there?”

“Out in the desert, yeah. But I lived in the city.” In the ghetto, I almost added. Well, not exactly the ghetto, but compared to here? Ghetto.

“Oh.” She sounded disappointed.

“What do you play?” a guy asked. Wilson?

“Uh, Xbox?” I said with a nervous laugh.

“No, I mean, you’re pretty tall—you a baller or what?”

“Kinda,” I said. Blatant lie. People always assume I play basketball because I’m tall. I’d like to ask people if they play miniature golf because they’re short, but I had a feeling breaking that one out right now wasn’t going to endear me to anyone. “I hear our team is pretty good,” I tacked on. More lies.

“Yeah, you should come to a game,” the guy said. “Sera and Jasmine cheer.”

“You’re a cheerleader?” Now I understood the ripped legs.

“Junior co-captain of the squad,” she said. I didn’t know what that meant, but it sounded important.

“So are you the girl they always, like, throw in the air?” I asked.

Her chin rose just a little. “Sometimes, but usually I’m the one tumbling in the front.”

The thought of Sera jumping around in a cheer skirt stoked a sudden passion for hoops within me. Why, of course I love basketball. Go team! And, note to self, find out what our team is. Probably the Fighting Preppies or something like that.

“Cool,” I said, wondering if I should be glad I found the nice cheerleader, or even more convinced that she was out of my league. Her profile was perfect. She had long eyelashes that were probably red or blond under her mascara. All I knew for sure was I could stare into her eyes all day.

Another ten minutes of small talk flowed around me. It wasn’t that they talked about things that weren’t interesting—local indie concerts, who was hooking up or breaking up, which teachers were the lamest—it’s just that I didn’t know enough about anything to join in.

When there was a lull, I worked up the nerve to turn to Sera and ask, “So, you heard about the party this weekend?”

She looked over at me, but said nothing.

“Harrison Hill?” I added nervously, hoping Kimberlee—not to mention Langdon and his friends—hadn’t fed me a total line about it being the place to be.

“Yeeeeaaaah,” she said, drawing out the word. “I did hear something about that.”

“I was kinda thinking maybe I’d see you there.”

“I don’t do keggers,” she said, her smile tightening. “Not my thing.”

“You’re not going?” I did not have a backup plan for that.

“Sera doesn’t do the partying scene,” Wilson piped in “helpfully.”

“How come?” I asked.

Sera shrugged. “I’m in the middle of competition season for cheer. The last thing I need is to get wasted on the weekends.”

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