Sherryl Woods - Flamingo Diner

“That’s what I want to believe,” he said tightly, but he wouldn’t look at her.

She heard the same doubts in his voice that had echoed in her head for hours now. “Matt, there’s something else, something you’re not telling me, isn’t there?”

“Not now, Em. Let’s wait for the reports.”

“I need to know, dammit!”

He gave her a look filled with sympathy. “I know you do. We all do, but what good is it to have speculation? You need facts, not theories.”

She drew in a deep breath and asked the question that had plagued her all the way home. “Could he have driven into the lake on purpose?”

“Don’t go there, Emma.”

“Is it possible?” she asked again.

“Anything’s possible, but he didn’t leave a note, at least not that we’ve found so far. There wasn’t one in the car, at the diner or at the house.”

“Then you did search for one?” To her that was damning proof that Matt thought there was something odd about the way her father had died.

“Of course.”

“So you believe suicide’s a possibility, don’t you?” she asked, pushing the point because she had to.

“It’s one of them,” he admitted with obvious reluctance. “Why would you think that, though?”

“Andy called me a couple of days ago. He was really worried about Dad. He said he’d been acting weird for a while. He wanted me to come home.” She blinked back tears. “I told him no.”

Matt reached for her hand. “And now you’re blaming yourself,” he concluded. “Don’t. What good will that do? We don’t know what happened last night, Emma. Until we do, cut yourself some slack.”

“Have you talked to Mom yet?”

“Not really. She…” He sighed. “She was in no shape to be questioned last night.”

“Andy or Jeff?”

“Andy’s scared. He’s not making much sense right now. He’s blaming himself.”

“And me,” she said, half to herself. “He must be blaming me.”

Matt shook his head. “Not aloud, anyway. He’s too caught up in his own guilt. He thinks if he and your father hadn’t fought at the diner yesterday, everything would have been okay. He’s sure your father was still upset, too upset to be behind the wheel of the car.”

“What do you think?”

“That’s grief talking. I was there when they fought. It was nothing, just the usual father-teen spat, but Andy’s not ready to hear that yet. As for Jeff, all I got from him was attitude.”

Emma regarded him with surprise. The way she remembered it, her younger brother had idolized Matt. “Jeff was giving you attitude?”

“I asked him to stay with your mom while I came to get you. He told me I wasn’t his boss, that somebody else could do it, that he had things to do.”

“Jeff said that?” Emma was genuinely shocked. “What things does he have to do that could possibly be more important right now?”

“He’s angry and confused. It wasn’t personal,” he said, making excuses for Jeff. “He’s just taking it out on the only person available. He can’t very well yell at your mom. He’ll be okay.” He glanced sideways at her. “You’re going to have to step in and take charge, you know. Your mom’s in denial. She kept telling me I was making it up, that I was lying to her just to hurt her for some reason. I think a part of her is absolutely convinced that your father will walk in the door any second now.”

Emma regarded him ruefully. “I felt the same way when one of your officers called me. I kept telling him he had to be mistaken, that my father couldn’t possibly be dead.”

“I’m sorry I had a stranger call,” he said. “I wanted to do it myself, but I had my hands full with your mother at that point and I thought you needed to know right away so you could make plans to get down here.”

“It’s okay. I doubt the news would have gone down any easier, if you’d been the one delivering it. If Jeff refused to stay with her, who’s there now?”

“Helen hasn’t left, though your mother won’t see her. She won’t see anyone. She’s locked herself in her room.”

Though it was out of character for her normally strong mother to hide out, Emma couldn’t really blame her. If she’d been able to hide and pretend this hadn’t happened, she would have. “I just don’t understand how this could happen. I can’t believe he’s really gone. I’d just spoken to him over the weekend. He sounded great, as upbeat as ever. Andy said he was faking it.”

“I have to admit, I agree with Andy. Your father has been a little short-tempered lately,” Matt explained. “No, I take that back. He’s been very short-tempered. People have been commenting on it. That scene with Andy yesterday morning wasn’t the first. He’s even been snapping at your mother over nothing.”

Hearing Matt echo what Andy had tried so hard to tell her made it that much worse that she hadn’t listened to her brother.

“That’s so unlike him. He’d rather strip naked and run through Winter Cove at high noon than lose it in front of the customers,” she said.

“I know. We all thought it was out of character,” Matt said. “I kept thinking I ought to talk to him, but I wasn’t sure it was my place. If…” His voice trailed off.

“Say it,” Emma demanded. “If he killed himself, what?”

Matt frowned. “If that’s what happened, then I’m as much to blame for letting this happen as anyone in the family. We all knew something wasn’t right, but this was your dad. He always worked things out for the rest of us. I suppose none of us believed he wouldn’t be able to work out whatever was going on with him.”

Emma fell silent, thinking. What could have been weighing on her father’s mind to change his personality so dramatically? There had been no hint of a problem in their conversations; or, as Andy had accused, had she simply been oblivious to it? Had she been so caught up in her own life that she’d ignored some sign? She’d certainly been eager to ignore the warning signals Andy had described. She couldn’t help feeling that she’d let down not only Andy, but also her father.

She was still tormenting herself with what-ifs when Matt pulled the car to a stop in front of the Spanishstyle stucco house with its red-tile roof where Emma had lived practically her whole life. Before she could get out, he tucked a hand under her chin and forced her to face him.

“This is not your fault,” he said emphatically. “Or your mom’s. Or your brothers’. There’s still every chance in the world that this was a tragic accident. Remember that.”

“I’ll try.”

Slowly, he released her. “Just in case, I’ll be around to remind you,” he promised.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she reached for his hand, clinging to it for one last reassuring second before she went inside to face the reality of her family’s unthinkable tragedy.

Rosa refused to get out of bed, refused to eat. She feigned sleep every time anyone came into her bedroom. If she was asleep, no one could say anything about Don. No one could tell her he was dead. She could pretend that it was all a terrible nightmare and that when she woke up, he would be right there beside her. He would hold her, maybe make love to her, and their day would begin as every other day had begun, with a mad rush to get to Flamingo Diner before the first customers began arriving at 6:00 a.m.

But as the sun began to set and shadows filled the room, she could no longer deny the harsh reality that she’d awakened to just after one in the morning when Matt had come knocking on their door. She’d shouted at him to stop his lies, that Don was not dead, that he knew that curve in the road, that he would never drive so recklessly that he’d wind up in the lake, but Matt hadn’t changed expressions even once. He’d just led her to a chair, then hunkered down beside her and held her hand, pleading with her to tell him who he could call, what he could do.