Brenda Novak - In Close

But he didn’t seem willing to leave her yet, not even for the few seconds taking off his pants would require. He pinned her beneath him, hands above her head, and kissed her in a way that left her in no doubt that he craved what she’d denied him for the past decade.

Soon Claire was so sensitive to his touch she could hardly contain the building excitement. No wonder she thought of Isaac so often, had to fight the desire to visit him on a nightly basis. It’d only been a year since she’d slept with her husband, but it’d been a decade since she’d slept with Isaac. She wasn’t sure how she could feel so strongly about him when she loved David as much as she did, but it was true.

Letting go of her wrists, he covered her breasts with his palms. She could feel his hard length pressing into her stomach as he gently tweaked her nipples. Then she was trying to remove his pants because she couldn’t wait a second longer.

“God, I’ve missed you,” he murmured as he helped rid them both of what remained of their clothes.

She didn’t believe him. How could he miss her if he’d never cared about her to begin with? He missed the sexual release she could provide. Somehow, whatever magic he held for her, she seemed to hold for him, too. They were both cursed.

Or she was projecting. Maybe it wasn’t that way for him at all, just male pride or the refusal to believe he could lose her to someone else. Otherwise, he wouldn’t care that she’d moved on.

Too bad the past went much deeper than merely a release for her. She’d been in love with him. Maybe she still was—a little, anyway. That was the part that frightened her, that made her fear it’d been a mistake to come here. She wasn’t sure how she’d ever find the strength to let go of him again. Not without David to make the difference.

But that was something she’d have to deal with later. For right now, for this moment, she was going to take everything Isaac could give her, grab it all before she had time to rethink her actions or regret them or even acknowledge that this was how it should’ve been with David.

“No one can make love like you,” she whispered.

He froze above her, as if she’d slapped him instead of complimenting him. “That’s what brought you back?”

Did it matter? He had what he wanted. “Yeah. It…it hasn’t been easy for me after David. But this is better than being alone. And since you seem to be free for the night, you don’t have anything to lose, either.”

Silence. Then, “He made you happy.”

“Yes.” And yet she was glad it was Isaac touching her now. But she didn’t add that, because it made no sense.

Isaac shifted so he could rest part of his weight on the bed. “Then…this means nothing to you.”

His voice sounded slightly strangled. She thought it was odd that he’d even ask. He’d certainly never asked before. But they’d been young. And they’d ended badly. She rushed to reassure him that he didn’t have to worry about her acting like a lovesick fool this time around. “No, I’m still totally in love with David. You don’t have to worry.”

“Worry?”

“That I’ll want anything more from you.”

“I see.” She felt his chest rise, heard him take a quick breath.

His reaction confused her. “You’re relieved, right?”

“Of course. David was a…a great guy, a perfect husband.”

“He was everything to me.” Just saying it brought tears to her eyes. David was generous, kind, consistent, transparent. Yet here she was, asking for more of the one thing Isaac could give her, and that was ecstasy.

Still supporting himself on his elbow, Isaac wiped away her tears. “Well, we wouldn’t want you to be lonely....”

Was he being sarcastic? His touch was so…gentle. Damn him. Why did he have to complicate everything?

She tried harder to clarify what she meant. Didn’t he believe her? Was he remembering the last time, how sickeningly she’d clung to him? “We won’t have to acknowledge it ever happened.”

“Maybe you can pretend I’m him.”

That was impossible, but she wasn’t about to explain that no one could compare to Isaac, not even David. “Sure. Maybe. Or it can be like…like it was for you before,” she reminded him. “Just…physical. We don’t have to tell anybody.”

She thought he’d be happy that she’d made it so easy for him. He was the one who didn’t do well with commitments. When she’d told him she loved him the last night they were together, he’d panicked, said he wasn’t the marrying type, that she should find someone who’d make a better husband. He’d even said she was stupid to think he could ever fall for her. So she’d moved on. She’d gotten back together with David, but David had been taken away from her, and now she had nothing.

Except this highly erotic, clandestine meeting with her former lover.

“It’ll be our little secret,” he said.

She breathed a sigh of relief. “Yes.” She didn’t want to start any rumors, didn’t want to answer any questions about him. And she certainly didn’t want to explain to her sister why she’d gotten involved with Isaac Morgan again—not after she’d just warned Leanne to be careful about who she spent time with. “That’d probably be best.”

When there was no response on his part, no movement, either, she began to feel uncertain. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he replied. But something told her that wasn’t quite true. The way he touched her, the way he made love from that moment on, was different. It almost seemed as if his stitches were hurting him. She asked if he’d changed his mind, but he didn’t answer. He gave her what she wanted, at least on a physical level, but only with his mouth. He refused to fully make love.

She wasn’t sure if he was out of condoms, or he was trying to withhold the one thing she wanted more than any other—to feel him inside her again after so long. Maybe it was neither. Maybe he’d lost his desire for her and she’d only imagined the unbridled excitement she’d sensed at the beginning, because he wouldn’t even let her satisfy him in return.

He finished as if he was merely servicing her, then rolled over to go to sleep, and she lay awake, feeling like an idiot. Why was she asking for more of the same mixed signals, the same confusion, she’d endured ten years ago?

The smell of her was everywhere. On his pillow. On his sheets. On his skin.

But she was gone.

Thank God. It was too hard to have her lying next to him, knowing her presence in his bed didn’t mean he had the second chance he’d been hoping for. When she’d walked through his front door and let him know she wanted him, he’d thought they could go back to the way it used to be, that he’d have the opportunity to start over with her.

But that was crazy. She was still in love with David; she’d said as much. And he couldn’t possibly compete with a guy like that. David had been Pineview’s golden boy. He’d had no rough edges, no unsavory past. To make matters worse, now that David was gone, he’d practically been canonized. Saint David.

Trying to minimize the strength of the scent that lingered, Isaac shoved the blankets off him. Maybe David was now a saint, but Isaac was still human and would never be able to outdistance his past. He’d been kicked out of school so often he couldn’t remember the number of times. He’d dropped out before he could graduate. He’d been thrown out of the Kicking Horse Saloon for fighting on several different occasions and had spent a few nights in jail as a result. He’d once been chased off with a shotgun when he’d dared to date a girl whose father felt she was too good for him. And, as his crowning achievement, he’d stolen a car on a dare just before he turned eighteen and served a few months in juvie.