Carrie Duffy - Idol

‘Oh shit, I’m so sorry Ryan,’ Jenna apologized, embarrassed as she wiped her eyes. ‘I’m just being silly – you’ve been so good to put up with me.’

‘No problem,’ Ryan mumbled.

Neither of them spoke for a few moments as Jenna rubbed her eyes tiredly, running a finger underneath her eyelashes to try and wipe off the smudged mascara. Finally, she spoke. ‘I hate to ask after all this, but could you do me one favour?’

‘I guess,’ Ryan shrugged.

‘I really don’t like getting in by myself – the house is so big and quiet. It was stupid of me to buy it really,’ she smiled. ‘It’s far too big for one person, and I sometimes get a little freaked out. Tonight especially, I’m feeling so on edge. Would you come in with me, just for a few minutes until I’m settled?’ Ryan paused and Jenna forced a smile. ‘You’ll get a free cup of coffee out of it.’

‘I don’t know …’ he began slowly. ‘I should be heading back. Kelly’s expecting me, and I don’t want to be too late.’

‘But it would only be for a few minutes …’ Jenna saw Ryan hesitate and felt her cheeks grow hot as the anger rose in her chest. Deep down, she knew it wasn’t his fault, but she desperately needed someone to lash out at. ‘Okay, fine. Forget it,’ she snapped furiously, her eyes blazing. ‘None of you like me, do you? We should just call this whole thing off right now because it’s obviously not going to work. Apologize to the rest of the guys for me, would you – that’s if they even care!’

Jenna jumped down from the car and slammed the door.

‘Shit,’ swore Ryan, leaping out of the Range Rover. ‘Jenna! Jenna, wait,’ he yelled, running after her across the street. ‘Jenna,’ he shouted, grabbing her by the shoulder.

She had reached the doorstep of her house and swung round to face him. It was raining harder now, and her hair streamed out wildly behind her, her face accusing and streaked with mascara.

‘Jenna, I’m so sorry,’ Ryan apologized. He looked at her worriedly, aware of the commotion they were making in the quiet street. There didn’t seem to be anyone around, but the last thing he wanted was to draw attention to the pair of them. ‘Look, I’ll come in with you and we’ll get you a drink, get you sorted out, and it’ll all be okay. Come on,’ he added, resting a hand on her back as he led her into the house.

‘I’m just going to go and freshen up a little,’ said Jenna as they stepped into the entrance hall, feeling embarrassed about the way she must look.

‘Okay.’ Ryan stood awkwardly in the corridor, not sure where to go as she disappeared upstairs. ‘Can I make you a drink?’ he yelled after her.

‘Sure, coffee would be great,’ Jenna shouted back.

Ryan looked around him, trying to work out which direction the kitchen was in. The Holland Park house was undeniably gorgeous. Designed by the Candy brothers, the interior was modern and dramatic, all sleek furniture and a neutral colour scheme broken up by stunning statement pieces. The contemporary style belied the ‘Old England’ appearance of the exterior, with its white stone walls, wrought-iron balconies and potted bay trees either side of the heavy black door.

Inside it was very tidy and somewhat devoid of personal items – Ryan got the impression that Jenna probably didn’t spend a lot of time there. I can sympathize with that, he thought, remembering how in the early days when the band were trying to break through, they’d toured incessantly, spending months on end away from home. He’d married young and started a family almost immediately but, despite the pressure, he and Kelly had got through it. Not everyone had been quite so lucky, he realized, thinking of Zac and his ex-wife Jessica.

Having located the kitchen, the kettle had just boiled when Jenna walked in. Her face was clean of make-up, but her eyes were still puffy and her cheeks were more flushed than normal, betraying her earlier outburst.

‘You shouldn’t drink coffee at this time of night. I made you some tea instead,’ Ryan said, pouring out the water. ‘I’ve been in England for a few days now so I think I’ve got the hang of it,’ he grinned.

‘Thanks,’ smiled Jenna. Their fingers brushed as she took the mug from him.

‘Careful. It’s hot,’ warned Ryan.

‘I’ll be careful,’ Jenna teased, blowing gently across the top of the mug. She realized Ryan was watching her and wiped her eyes self-consciously.

‘I hate the way I look when I cry,’ Jenna explained shyly. ‘My eyes swell up and I look like a pig.’

Ryan laughed. ‘Well, you’d have to be the cutest pig I’ve ever seen,’ he answered clumsily.

‘Gee, thanks,’ Jenna replied, but she was laughing as she led the way through to the magnificent living room. It was located at the back of the house, a huge, high-ceilinged room with long, full-length windows looking out onto an impressive expanse of garden. The lounge was largely minimalist, with buttercream walls and pale furniture; only the ostentatious gold and crystal chandelier, and the gilt candlesticks over the fireplace, added a touch of drama to the otherwise muted room. Jenna plopped down on one of the squashy cream sofas, and Ryan joined her.

‘God, I’m so tired,’ Jenna yawned, resting her head against the soft fabric.

‘It must be the stress,’ commented Ryan, taking a sip of his tea. ‘You’ve had a hard day.’

‘Yeah, I’ll say,’ agreed Jenna. She paused, listening to the rain falling against the windows. ‘Am I just being stupid, Ryan? I mean, am I completely overreacting to everything, and just annoying the hell out of the rest of you?’

She looked so earnest, her beautiful green eyes open wide in anguish, that Ryan smiled.

‘Of course not,’ he reassured her. ‘We’ll get there. It’s new to us all, and it’s just going to take time. Zac’s having a harder time adjusting than we are, that’s all. It’s nothing personal.’

Jenna smiled gratefully. ‘Thanks.’

‘And I’d think the attention Nick gives you more than makes up for it.’

Jenna grinned, squirming with embarrassment. ‘He’s terrible, isn’t he? I bet he’s like that with everyone,’ she commented carefully, feeling her heart begin to race a little.

‘Hell, I don’t know really,’ Ryan lied, trying to avoid the subject. ‘He’s always had quite an eye for the ladies. But I’d say he really likes you,’ he added quickly, as Jenna’s face fell.

‘It’s okay, I know what he’s like,’ she admitted. ‘I know it’s just fun, and I enjoy it. It’s such a dream even working with you guys.’

‘We’re not that special,’ Ryan shook his head.

‘Millions of fans can’t be wrong,’ Jenna grinned, as she lay down on the couch and closed her eyes. Neither of them spoke as Ryan drained his tea.

‘You really like him, don’t you?’ he asked Jenna gently. ‘Nick, I mean.’

‘I don’t know. Well … yeah,’ she admitted drowsily. ‘Don’t tell him though, will you? He’s big-headed enough already.’

‘I won’t,’ Ryan promised.

There was a long pause as Jenna snuggled down on the sofa. Eventually, she spoke, her voice sounding slow and distant. ‘Yeah, I do like him,’ she confessed sleepily.

‘Just be careful, yeah?’ Ryan urged. But Jenna didn’t respond. Her breathing was regular and slow, and Ryan realized she was asleep. He checked his watch – just after midnight. Carefully, so as not to wake her, Ryan climbed off the sofa. When he reached the door he paused for a few moments, thinking how beautiful she looked – so innocent and vulnerable, almost childlike, with her long, blonde hair tumbling over her face, and her skin cleansed of make-up. Then he turned and hurried back down the corridor, noiselessly opening the front door and letting himself out. The silent street appeared deserted as he climbed back into the Range Rover and drove off.