Ian Whybrow - Little Wolf’s Diary of Daring Deeds

Arrrroooo! the postman came today with a big parcel saying, “Phew, heavy, hint hint.” So I said to put it down in the hall and filled up his hands with gold.

He said, “Cor thanks, Master L, you are a lot nicer than your Uncle Bigbad. When he was here being Head of Cunning College for Brute Beasts, he used to eat postmen. He was a big horrible miser, he was. They say he had bags and bags of gold buried all over the place, but he never spent one penny, not like you. Good thing he went off bang if you ask me.”

I gave him a small wolfly nip and a grrr for cheek and off he went happy and rich.

All of a suddenly the parcel went crickle crackle rip. Then out jumped a something saying a huge big

and making my heart hop like frogs. And what was it? It was Yeller! I was so pleased to see his funny pointy face and my trick arrow through his head. And so good to hear his voice again, yelling, “HELLO LICKLE, HOW DID YOU LIKE MY TRICK PARCEL?”

Who else would think of a clever trick joke like posting yourself? Plus he brought me a posh present, a book for writing our adventures in. I am calling it My Diary of Daring Deeds, so 1 day all our grandcubs will read it and go, “Oo look, so brave,” ect.

Yours proudly,

Your crool letter you sent yesterday says you will not move in here now. Whyo Y have you changed your minds? Is it because Uncle Bigbad went off bang and Dad blames me? I bet it is. But I told him not to scoff all my bakebeans with a shovel. He just did not listen, being such a greedyguts.

PLEEEZ change your minds back again.

Yours upsettly,

Murkshire is nice, yes, and the Lair is cosy, yes. But you will soon like Beastshire when you see it. Also Frettnin Forest is just the scaryest, Dad will love it.

But you say you think my plans are 2 showoff and cubbish. Dad says he does not agree with Adventure Playgrounds. He is so oldfashy. Because when you are rich and modern, you can buy adventures and be daring deeders at home. No need to go a long way for them. Or get killed, ect. See?

Yours pantingly,

Just to show you what you are missing. Look at this advert. Yeller found it in Wolf Weekly yesterday.

See? it is brilliant. I am writing for a Mister Marvo appointment today! So go on, Mum and Dad, get on the helicopter quick!

Yours reallywantingly,

Yes I was surprised when the helicopter landed and baby bruv Smellybreff got out but not you. Yes I got your note off him, no he did not do a sick down his new sailor suit.

Yes I made sure he did not leave his ted in the helicopter. Yes I do know teddy is his best friend.

Yes I do understand that you are trusting me with your small darling baby pet till Springtime comes. Yes I know you will go RAVING MAD if I let anything bad happen to him.

Yes I promise I will keep writing and say if Smellybreff gets homesick or bangs his tiny nose, ect.

Yes you are right, it is furfluffingly chilly here and all the chestnuts have fallen.

I hope you enjoy your long winter zizz without us. When are you starting xactly? Also, are you sure you do not want to have your tiny Smells tucked up cosy in your bed?

Yours ??ly,

Smells has been here 2 days now. He has been stupid and whiny and keeps messing my things up. Also, he will not call me and Yeller sir, even though we are Heads.

He is hopeless at Schools and playing teachers. But 1 thing he likes a lot is gold. I bought him a metal detector yesterday and off he went hunting for more of Uncle Bigbad’s gold. He found 4 more bags. Now he wants a safe with a big key, PLUS combination lock.

Yours a bit fedupply,

Guess what! A letter came from Mr Marvo today. He is coming soonly to tell us all about Instant Adventures for our playground, arrroooo! Yeller has got some brilliant BIG IDEAS for what we want, gokarts, motorbikes, roller-coasters, zipwire, dodgems, wall-of-death, helter skelter, parachute-jumper, arcade racing machines, ect! What is rubbish about that, Dad? Answer, nothing.

No winter zizzes for us cubs, we are much 2 excited.

Yours cannotwaitly,

Smells wants me to send you a pic of his new safe so here it is.

Also he says har har he knows the number to open it but not me. So cubbish.

Your big boy,

Smells is OK today but a bit goldfeverish. He howled his head off till I gave him all my gold to put in his safe. Plus all the new bags he keeps finding with his metal detector.

This is what he does all the time. 1st he piles up gold in sixes (he only knows up to 6). Then he kisses each pile and puts them in his safe. Then he locks up. Then he whispers through the keyhole, “Night night darlings, sleepy tight. Daddy soon find you some more nice shiny friends to chink with.”

What do you think about this?

Askingly