Tracy Buchanan - My Sister’s Secret

Only a week later, all their lives would be shattered.

‘Right,’ Charity whispered to herself as the boat came to a stop. ‘Let’s do this.’ She shrugged on her old stabiliser jacket, pulling her mask over her face. She did her checks like Niall had taught her as the boat’s captain, an old man with a grey beard, looked at her disapprovingly, knowing she shouldn’t be diving alone. Yes, it was risky. But what other choice did she have? Hope had refused to even step into the sea since Faith died and Charity couldn’t go with Niall, could she?

When she was ready, she took a few breaths then she jumped in, the bitter cold of the sea seeping into her skin as she deflated her jacket and descended. The tank felt awkward on her back, the wetsuit digging into all the wrong places. But as she got deeper, the shrieking seagulls quieting, the water misty and cold, a calmness descended upon her. She stayed still for a moment, taking it all in, the sea rippling and swaying, lifting her with it. She looked up, caught glimpses of the sun above, sparking off the surface. There was no sound but the gurgle of her snorkel and the deep low hush of her breath as she kicked her legs and glided through the water, trying to find some sign of the forest in the murky depths.

After ten minutes, the calmness dissipated. Emotion swelled inside her. She seemed to see Faith everywhere. She struggled to breathe in the air from the tank on her back, felt panic whir inside.

She couldn’t do this.

She started inflating her jacket, slowly rising to the surface, trying desperately to control her emotions as she moved up and up. When she broke the surface, she pulled her snorkel off, taking quick gasps of breath. She’d been a fool to come alone.

She looked up and was surprised to find another boat bobbing up and down next to the one she’d hired. It was gleaming white with chrome railings, Salacia written down its side in midnight blue. On its deck were two men.

Niall and Dan.

‘Great,’ Charity muttered under her breath.

They both looked imposing, tall and broad-shouldered in their wetsuits, Niall in his token black, Dan in a navy blue one. Beyond them, the sun peeked up from the horizon beneath wispy white clouds, the air feeling more like spring than ever.

‘Charity!’ Dan called out to her as Niall regarded her with hooded eyes. ‘Why didn’t you just get in touch with me, you could have come with us?’

‘I didn’t know you were coming this morning.’

‘Well, here we are,’ Dan said, spreading his arms out as he smiled. ‘You joining us?’

‘No, it’s alright,’ she said, swimming towards the boat she’d hired. ‘I’m going to head back.’

‘So you saw it?’ Niall asked her.

‘The forest? No sign of it.’

Dan’s face lit up. ‘Then you were looking in the wrong place, it’s another half a mile out.’

She paused, looking at Niall who was standing behind him, arms crossed, frown on his face. ‘Are you sure?’ she asked.

‘You saw the photos,’ Dan said. ‘Still want to go back to shore?’

‘Jim’ll take me, won’t you?’ Charity asked the old captain.

‘I have to be back to shore by ten,’ he replied.

He had told her that. She peered out towards where the forest might be. Could she forgive herself if she didn’t see the forest Faith so desperately wanted to find with her own eyes? But she’d been so panicked before. Would it be the same if she went down again?

She took a deep breath. No, she mustn’t be scared. She couldn’t miss this opportunity. So she put her hand up and let Dan pull her on to his boat as the captain handed her stuff over to Niall.

‘You were diving alone?’ was the first thing Niall said to her when she embarked.

‘Yes.’

‘That was stupid.’

She raised an eyebrow. ‘And you haven’t dived alone before?’ He didn’t answer. ‘Thought so.’

‘Charity!’ She turned to see Lana skipping towards her. Her long caramel hair was coiled up on top of her head and she was wearing a bright red wetsuit that clung to her perfect body. It made Charity feel self-conscious with her too-tight, too-old wetsuit on and the curves she’d inherited from her mum. She wrapped her arms around herself. ‘I’m so pleased you joined us,’ Lana said, squeezing Charity’s arm.

Thirty minutes later, they dived into the sea. As she descended, Niall not far away, memories from the summer she’d spent diving with him and her sisters seemed to flow over her even more intensely than when she’d dived alone earlier. But she felt more in control with people around her. She could do this.

She noticed Niall watching her, his vivid blue eyes blinking at her through his mask. Was he remembering those days too, the way Faith would twist her body around like a pro, blonde hair fanning out behind her?

Did he remember how they’d sneak quick kisses, pulling their mouthpieces out when Hope and Faith weren’t looking?

Charity turned away. It was all in the past.

Dan kicked his legs and scooted downwards, Lana following. Charity thrust herself through the water after them, Niall not far behind her. Niall had always kept behind the sisters when they’d dived all those years ago, letting Faith lead the way, him ‘keeping the flank’, as he used to call it. He’d grown to be protective of them, checking their gear after they’d already checked each other’s, making them each give him the thumbs up. Faith used to call him a ‘big softie beneath all that brooding’. Charity felt safe with him behind her now, just as she had all those years before.

Charity peered into the distance. It had grown so misty, Dan and Lana were just faded outlines in the deep. She felt Niall’s fingers brush against hers and she turned, saw him floating beside her. He gave her a thumbs up. She did the same. Maybe he’d sensed her nervousness on the boat.

The mist dispersed a little and Dan and Lana came into view, hovering in the distance as they looked at something. For a moment, she thought it was a line of fish. But as she drew closer, she realised it was a misty branch.

The submerged forest!

She exchanged an excited look with Niall. It was like they were hovering over a foggy forest, just a hint of a branch the only evidence it existed.

She propelled herself towards the branch, feeling like she was in a snow globe, bubbles of water shimmering around her. Then the fog dispersed and the top of a tree appeared before her and beyond, several other sunken trees.

Charity took a moment to take it in. Faith would have loved this, Hope too. Beside her, Niall stared at the forest too, eyes wide. This was all supposed to be so different.

She headed to the closest tree, a great oak, surreal without the context of sky and leaf-infested grounds. Its surface was clogged with small barnacles and, when she reached for the uppermost branch, yellow fish darted out from behind it. She sank lower, swirling her fingers around at waist level, paddling the fins on her feet until she was aligned with the tree’s trunk.

Faith had told her the trees in a submerged forest were petrified, meaning the conditions beneath the sea had almost turned them to stone, fossilising them. The reason she used to get so excited about them – beyond how beautiful the photos showed them to be – was that studying them could reveal so many important facts, such as how sea levels had raised over aeons. She was determined to write her own thesis on it and tell the world something new and exciting.

Charity tentatively reached out again, carefully brushing her fingers against the barnacled wood, imagining her oldest sister beside her. It felt furry with moss, bumpy beneath her fingertips. Up close, she could see crabs sheltering in the bark’s knots. Charity felt emotion well inside. For years Faith had wanted to find this and here it was, right before Charity’s eyes. If only her sister was alive to see it. Niall turned to her, and she could see his eyes were glassy too. Maybe coming back here to find the forest was an homage for him too, a way to make amends.