Candace Bushnell - The Carrie Diaries and Summer in the City

“Nowhere.”

Jen P leans across her. “Want to go to the Hamburger Shack?”

I give them a deliberately skeptical look. They’ve never asked me to go to the Hamburger Shack before—hell, they’ve never asked me to go anywhere. Do they really think I’m that dumb?

“Can’t,” I say vaguely.

“Why not?”

“I have to go home.”

“You have time for a hamburger,” Jen S says. It might be my imagination, but I detect a slight threat in her tone.

Sebastian honks his horn.

I jump. Jen S and Jen P exchange another look. “Get in,” Jen P urges.

“Really, guys. Thanks. Some other time.”

Jen S glares at me. And this time there is no mistaking the hostility in her voice. “Suit yourself,” she says as she rolls up the window. And then they just sit there, watching as I walk up to Sebastian’s car and get in.

“Hi,” he says, leaning over to kiss me.

I pull away. “Better not. We’re being watched.” I point out the beige Toyota. “The two Jens.”

“Who cares?” he says, and kisses me again. I go along with it but break away after a few seconds. “The Jens,” I say pointedly. “They’re best friends with Donna LaDonna.”

“And?”

“Well, obviously they’re going to tell her. About you and me,” I say cautiously, not wanting to be presumptuous.

He frowns, turns the key in the ignition, and slams the stick into second gear. The car leaps forward with a screech. I peek out the back window. The Toyota has pulled right up behind. I slump down in the seat. “I can’t believe this,” I mutter. “They’re following us.”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake,” he says, looking into the rearview mirror. “Maybe it’s time someone taught them a lesson.”

The engine roars like a wild animal as he puts the car into fourth gear. We take a sharp turn onto the highway and hit seventy-five. I turn around to check the progress of the Toyota. “I think we’re losing them.”

“Why would they do this? What is wrong with these girls?”

“Boredom. They don’t have anything better to do.”

“Well, they’d better find someone else to tail.”

“Or what? You’re going to beat them up?” I giggle.

“Something like that.” He rubs my leg and smiles. We take a sharp turn off the highway and onto Main Street. As we approach my house, he slows down.

“Not here.” I panic. “They’ll see your car in the driveway.”

“Where then?”

I consider for a moment. “The library.”

No one will think to look for us there, except maybe The Mouse, who knows that the Castlebury Public Library is my favorite secret place. It’s housed in a white brick mansion, built in the early 1900s, when Castlebury was a booming mill town and had millionaires who wanted to show off their wealth by building grand mansions on the Connecticut River. But hardly anyone has the money to keep them up now, so they’ve all been turned into public properties or nursing homes.

Sebastian whips into the driveway and parks behind the building. I hop out and peek around the side. The beige Toyota is slowly making its way down Main Street, past the library. Inside the car, the two Jens are swiveling their heads around like swizzle sticks, trying to find us.

I bend over, laughing. Every time I try to straighten up, I look at Sebastian and burst out into hysterics. I stumble around the parking lot and fall to the ground, holding my stomach.

“Carrie?” he says. “Is it really that funny?”

“Yes,” I cry. And I collapse into another wave of laughter while Sebastian looks at me, gives up, and lights a cigarette.

“Here,” he says, handing it to me.

I get up, holding on to him for support. “It is funny, isn’t it?”

“It’s hilarious.”

“How come you’re not laughing?”

“I am. But I like watching you laugh more.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It makes me happy.” He puts his arm around me and we go inside.

I lead him up to the fourth floor. Hardly anyone comes up here because all the books are on engineering and botany and obscure scientific research that most people don’t want to bother trekking up four flights to read. In the middle of the room is an old chintz-covered couch.

We’re at least half an hour into an intense make-out session when we’re startled by a loud angry voice.

“Hello, Sebastian. I was wondering where you’d run off to.”

Sebastian is on top of me. I look over his shoulder and see Donna LaDonna looming over us, like an angry Valkyrie. Her arms are crossed, emphasizing her formidable chest. If breasts could kill, I’d be dead.

“You’re disgusting,” she sneers at Sebastian before she focuses her attention on me. “And you, Carrie Bradshaw. You’re even worse. ”

“I don’t get it,” I say in a small voice.

Sebastian looks guilty. “Carrie, I’m sorry. I had no idea she would react that way.”

How could he have “no idea”? I wonder, my anger growing. It’s going to be all over the school tomorrow. And I’m the one who’s going to look like either a fool or a bitch.

Sebastian has one hand on the wheel, tapping the fake wood inlay with a ragged nail, as if he’s as perplexed by this as I am. I’m probably supposed to yell at him, but he looks so cute and innocent, I can’t quite muster the energy.

I look at him hard, folding my arms. “ Are you seeing her?”

“It’s complicated.”

“How?”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It’s like being a little bit pregnant. You either are or you’re not.”

“I’m not, but she thinks I am.”

And whose fault is that? “Can’t you tell her you’re not seeing her?”

“It’s not so easy. She needs me.”

Now I really have had enough. How can any self-respecting girl respond to this nonsense? Am I supposed to say. “No, please, I need you too”? And what’s up with this old-fashioned “neediness” stuff, anyway?

He pulls into my driveway and parks the car. “Carrie—”

“I should probably go.” There’s a bit of an edge to my voice. But what else am I supposed to do? What if he does like Donna LaDonna better and he’s only using me to make her jealous?

I get out of the car and slam the door.

I race up the walk. I’m nearly at the door when I hear the quick, satisfying tread of his footsteps behind me.

He grabs my arm. “Don’t go,” he says. I allow him to turn me around, put his hands in my hair. “Don’t go,” he whispers. He tilts my face up to his. “Maybe I need you. ”

“Maggie, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she says coldly.

“Are you angry at me?” I gasp.

She stops, turns, and glares. And there it is: The international girl face for “I’m mad at you, and you should know why, but I’m not going to explain it.”

“What did I do?”

“It’s what you didn’t do.”

“Okay, what didn’t I do?”

“You tell me,” she says, and starts walking.

I run through a variety of scenarios but can’t come up with a clue.

“Mags.” I chase after her down the hall. “I’m sorry I didn’t do something. But I honestly don’t know what that something is.”

“Sebastian,” she snaps.

“Huh?”

“You and Sebastian. I come to school this morning and everyone knows all about it. Everyone except me. And I’m supposed to be one of your best friends.”

We’re nearly at the door to assembly, where I will have to walk in knowing that I’m going to have to face the hostility of Donna LaDonna’s friends, as well as a small army of kids who aren’t her friends, but want to be.