James Dale - The Obvious - Everything You Need to Know to Succeed

Take the Apollo 13 approach. When we all heard the words, “Houston, we have a problem,” and the mission seemed doomed, who was the hero that saved the day? Was it the commander, Jim Lovell? Or the flight director, Gene Kranz? One of the other astronauts, Fred Haise or John Swigert, or member of the ground team like Ken Mattingly? No, it was not any one of them. It was all of them. They all collaborated to solve the problem, to save the day, and the mission. One of the great rescues of all time, and not one hero … or all heroes.

The best way to lead is to feed. When you’re not just a team member but the one in charge, whether it’s of a meeting, a project, a division, or a company, put everyone else ahead of yourself. Retired General Electric CEO Jack Welch said, “The day you become a leader, it becomes about them. Your job is, walk around with a can of water in one hand and a can of fertilizer in the other hand … and build a garden.”

Cut the “I” outof your thought process and your vocabulary. Also “me” and “my” and “mine.” Starting tomorrow, try to consciously remove the first person from all communications. Literally. Imagine a buzzer goes off every time you invoke yourself or your self-interest. No sentences with “I thinks …” or “the way I see it …” or “I said …” iNo memos or messages with “get back to me” or “that job is mine” or “my department.”

Imagine you don’t exist alone, only as part of something larger. Replace “I” and “me” with “we” and “us” and “ours” instead. “What can we do?” “It’s up to us.” “The challenge is ours.”

It’s not that you don’t count. It’s that the best way to look out for you is to look out for everybody else – the “we” – the sales force, the audit group, the engineers, the designers, R&D, your supervisor, her supervisor, the CEO, the guy in the next office, the whole team, even your arch-rival. If they, we, us survive, you survive. If they, we, us thrive, you thrive.

On the other hand, if you beat your chest, you just get a sore chest.

If you consistently accomplishthings that help the department, division, company, or team, you won’t have to worry about the credit. Success doesn’t hide. Want to be a real star? Don’t shine the spotlight on yourself. Let the results do it for you.

That’s what Phil Jackson taught the Chicago Bulls to take them from playoff bridesmaids to league champions. He invoked poetry, the Grateful Dead, and Zen Buddhism (hey, whatever works) to convince a collection of NBA-sized egos they’d garner more glitz, glamour, money, fame – a.k.a. credit – if they did their jobs together, than if they pursued the credit on their own. He even had to persuade a guy named Michael Jordan he’d be a bigger star if he passed the ball than if he shot it. In the 1991 playoffs, with the entire L.A. Laker team keyed on Jordan, a last-second pass from Jordan to John Paxson resulted in the winning basket … and the first of three back-to-back-to-back championships. Passing the ball isn’t glamorous, just effective.

Think of yourself as a movie producer. You didn’t write the script; you aren’t the lead actor, or the director, or even the special effects expert. You just quietly keep the whole production going. No one asks for your autograph. But if it’s a hit, you make the most money. You’re the one they come to when they want the next hit. That’s more than enough credit. That’s a real star, not a shooting star.

The world has enoughjerks. They’re everywhere, especially in business. People who think being tough makes you a better boss. Or who refuse to give a good deal because it might show weakness. Or who can’t compromise. People who yell, demand, intimidate.

Let’s say being a jerk and being nice were equally effective. Which would you rather think of yourself as? Which would you like your children to think of you as? If it were a toss up for efficacy, you’d be nice. But here’s a surprise: Being nice can actually be more effective than being a jerk.

Ron Shapiro is a lawyer/sports agent. Nobody, it would seem, needs to be tougher or more demanding than a sports agent. But Shapiro and his partner, Mark Jankowski, practice, and conduct seminars, in a negotiation philosophy called The Power of Nice. The basic premise is: The best way to get what you want is to help the other person get what he or she wants . Shapiro took that approach to the bargaining table to cut deals for Hall of Fame ballplayers Jim Palmer, Brooks Robinson, Eddie Murray, Kirby Puckett, and (future Hall of Famer) Cal Ripken, Jr., to settle a symphony orchestra strike, to intercede during the baseball shutdown of 1994–1995, and to help the Major League umpires work out their differences with the team owners in 1999–2000. If an agent can be nice – and succeed – so can you.

If you’re unreasonable, unkind, indecent, unfair or not nice to your co-workers, employees, vendors, associates, clients, investors, or partners, they’ll pick up the cues and respond just as badly. Then you have two or more jerks trying to out-jerk each other. On the other hand, if you’re nice, people will be nice back to you, to each other, and to customers, clients, and the outside world.

The J.M. Smucker Company, the jam and jelly giant, believes that being nice, even in little ways, makes everyone happier, which makes the company better.

The company serves all of their many employees complimentary bagels and muffins every day (along with a selection of jams and jellies, of course).

Wegmans, the innovative grocery chain, believes so strongly that being nice is contagious, and good for business, they’ve incorporated the idea into their motto, “Employees first, customers second.” The Wegman family’s rationale: When employees are happy, customers will be too.

You don’t have to own the company or be the boss to be nice. You can pick up an extra mocha grande for your fellow IT guy, acknowledge the innovative thinking of another space designer, encourage an entry-level research assistant, or even tell your supervisor you thought the meeting was productive (if it was.) Guess what? They’ll be nice back.

Being nice is selfish and contagious … in a good way.

There are a lotof jerks in the world, and unfortunately, many have gravitated to the world of business. Some people can’t help it. Others do it on purpose under the misguided notion that acting tough or demanding or perpetually dissatisfied equates to power and intimidation. The good news is all those jerks make you look better.

In contrast to the typical autocratic method of determining compensation – I’m the boss. I’ll tell you what your pay is – Gore-Tex takes a surprising and very disarming approach. Workers participate in evaluations of fellow team members to determine annual compensation. It’s not only nice, it’s fair. After all, who knows your work better than your fellow employees? Imagine how much more enlightened Gore-Tex looks than their competitors. Imagine how effective that is for attracting and retaining good people.

All employees complain about their benefits, don’t they? Not at Starbucks. In sharp contrast to notoriously stingy global giants, the coffee chain offers healthcare coverage for all employees, including part-timers, including spouses or partners, whether opposite or same sex. They even cover hypnotherapy and naturopathy. Now you know why those baristas treat customers so well. They’re being treated well themselves.