Claudia Carroll - Love Me Or Leave Me

AVON

An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd

77–85 Fulham Palace Road

Hammersmith, London W6 8JB

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Publishers 2014

Copyright © Claudia Carroll 2014

Cover illustration © Shutterstock 2014

Cover design © Emma Rogers 2014

Claudia Carroll asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

Source ISBN: 9780007520886

Ebook Edition © September 2014 ISBN: 9780007520893

Version: 2014-12-09

This book is warmly dedicated to Moira Reilly

With love and thanks, always

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Three Years Ago …

Yesterday …

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Two Weeks Later

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Saturday

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Sunday

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Six Months Later

Keep Reading …

Acknowledgements

About the Author

By the Same Author

About the Publisher

‘Shh, shh, shh,’ I can hear my best friend Gemma saying, as she hands me a fistful of Kleenex and purposely avoids hugging me, so as not to crumple the wedding dress. Even though it makes shag-all difference now. My perfect wedding dress too; the one I spent long months trawling just about every bridal shop the length and breadth of the country to find.

‘It’s all right, sweetheart. Just try to tell me what happened.’

Right then, I think, staring dully back at her. You asked for it. So here it is; here’s what I can remember from just minutes ago, before the skin got ripped off the surface of my life, exposing nothing but raw flesh underneath.

The killer is, I’m just a nice, ordinary, normal girl. This isn’t the kind of thing that’s supposed to happen to nice, ordinary, normal girls, now is it?

So I took a deep breath and began. Gemma says nothing, just nods silently and waits till I’ve finished.

‘You’ll be okay, you know.’

‘Will I?’

She paused for a beat and I was so grateful to her for at least answering me honestly. But then, Gemma is one of those people who physically gets heartburn when required to lie.

‘I only wish I could say yes.’

* * *

‘And two hearts will beat as one.’

Dawn Madden and Kirk Lennox-Coyningham

Would love you, as one of their dearest friends,

To celebrate their fusion

At Mount Druid,

On the feast of Midsummer, June 21st.

Blessing in the unconsecrated chapel

At two o’clock.

Feasting at The Old Gazebo,

Followed by a tree dedication ceremony on the grounds.

Please don’t RSVP by post, as we believe all paper is wasteful. And know that vegetarians, vegans and all on a gluten-free or lactose intolerance diet will be well catered for.

Organic and unfermented wine freely available.

No gifts please. Donations only, if necessary, to the National Forestry Society.

Accommodation isn’t a problem at Mount Druid. But please let us know if you’d prefer a Mongolian yurt, a shepherd’s hut or a self-catering cottage (running water available here. And eco-loo facilities).

(This invitation has been printed on 100% recycled organic paper and no trees were harmed in its manufacture.)

* * *

Jo and Dave

Cordially invite you

To celebrate their marriage

On fifteenth of February

ST MARY’S CHURCH, 2.45pm sharp, for a prompt 3pm start.

Dress code: strictly black tie, floor length dresses for ladies. Absolutely no cocktail dresses please.

Reception to follow at the Radisson Blu hotel punctually at 7pm.

Full wedding list available at Brown Thomas (no off-list gifting permitted).

Kindly note:

1 Coaches will be on hand at the church to transport guests to the hotel. Please clearly tick the box below if you require transportation.

2 All coaches will leave the church punctually at 4.30pm. This is essential in order to facilitate an on-time arrival at the hotel.

3 Kindly RSVP before December 31st if you have any dietary requirements. Please note, this is essential.

4 Seating plan will be available to view at www.It’sJo’s_Big_Day!.com, from January 1st.

5 No confetti or rice to be thrown at any stage.

6 Guests requiring overnight accommodation, see attached list, which is arranged in order of comfort and budget, from five star standard, downwards.

7 All queries concerning the day should be addressed directly to Jo Hargreaves at Jo_Marketing_Director @digitech.com

Thank you for your prompt reply and looking forward to seeing you on our special day!

* * *

Lucy and Andrew

Are getting married!!!

And they request the pleasure of your company,

At the mother of all parties to celebrate

On New Year’s Eve,

Pichet Restaurant, Trinity St., Dublin.

Sorry, but the actual wedding ceremony will take place privately, on the Twenty Fourth of December, at the Moon Palace Hotel, Cancun, Mexico.

With apologies and please don’t kill us!

No gifts please. We have everything we could possibly need in each other …

Last night, the old nightmare came back to haunt me.

I don’t actually know if it’s day or night. All I know is that it’s still my wedding day – or rather the day I was supposed to get married – and I somehow allowed myself to be led out of the bathroom where I’d locked myself, and laid down on top of the fluffy hotel bed. Still in my confection of a wedding dress, crumpled to bits now, like some kind of latter-day Miss Havisham. And they must have given me a sedative the equivalent of a horse tranquillizer, because instead of the heartache that’s to come, all I feel is groggy and sluggish, like I’ve been out cold for hours.