Robert Smith - AutoBioPhilosophy - An intimate story of what it means to be human

4th Estate

An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

www.4thEstate.co.uk

First published in Great Britain by 4th Estate in 2018

Copyright © Robert Rowland Smith Ltd 2018

Robert Rowland Smith asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

This book is based on the author’s experiences. Some names, identifying characteristics, dialogue and details have been changed, reconstructed or fictionalised.

Cover photograph by James Fulton.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

Source ISBN: 9780008218461

Ebook Edition © March 2018 ISBN: 9780008218485

Version: 2018-04-10

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright Copyright Copyright Foreword Author’s Note 1 Blood and Water 2 The Dream of Three Daughters 3 The Keys to the Tower 4 A Love Quadrangle 5 Going to California: a case of aller-retour 6 Office Politics 7 Near Death 8 The Forms of Things Unknown 9 Portraits of Love Afterword Acknowledgements Epitaph Illustration Credits Footnotes By the same author About the Publisher 4th Estate An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF www.4thEstate.co.uk First published in Great Britain by 4th Estate in 2018 Copyright © Robert Rowland Smith Ltd 2018 Robert Rowland Smith asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work. This book is based on the author’s experiences. Some names, identifying characteristics, dialogue and details have been changed, reconstructed or fictionalised. Cover photograph by James Fulton. A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins. Source ISBN: 9780008218461 Ebook Edition © March 2018 ISBN: 9780008218485 Version: 2018-04-10

Foreword Foreword When such a spacious mirror’s set before him He needs must see himself. William Shakespeare What is it to be human? That is the question. This book offers nine answers, each mapping on to one of the nine chapters. Being human means: 1 Dealing with our fate 2 Standing in the flow of time 3 Needing a purpose 4 Living amongst others 5 Making mistakes 6 Belonging to groups 7 Facing mortality 8 Not knowing it all 9 Looking for love Needless to say, there are far more potential answers than those on the above list. The nine offered here correspond broadly to the nine phases of my own life, from my origins to the present day. For I have used my own experience as the source material for answering the question of what it is to be human. To arrive at the general, I go via the specific. What results is an autobiographical narrative that serves up philosophical insights along the way. But I should stress that the narrative has many gaps. It is not supposed to be a complete life story. My criterion for selecting content was how fertile it appeared to be from a philosophic point of view. If people or periods are represented unevenly, that is why. For example, because of circumstances unique to him, my father Colin plays a more leading role in the text than does my mother. In real life, she is no less important. This book is dedicated to them both.

Author’s Note Author’s Note In the vast majority of cases, I have changed people’s names for the sake of anonymity. When talking about individuals, disguised or otherwise, I have been as even-handed as I can be. I recognise that judgements are hard to keep out of one’s descriptions of other people, but the agenda here is philosophical rather than personal. Besides, it is the flaws in my own character that will be the most conspicuous by far.

1 Blood and Water

2 The Dream of Three Daughters

3 The Keys to the Tower

4 A Love Quadrangle

5 Going to California: a case of aller-retour

6 Office Politics

7 Near Death

8 The Forms of Things Unknown

9 Portraits of Love

Afterword

Acknowledgements

Epitaph

Illustration Credits

Footnotes

By the same author

About the Publisher

When such a spacious mirror’s set before him

He needs must see himself.

William Shakespeare

What is it to be human? That is the question. This book offers nine answers, each mapping on to one of the nine chapters. Being human means:

1 Dealing with our fate

2 Standing in the flow of time

3 Needing a purpose

4 Living amongst others

5 Making mistakes

6 Belonging to groups

7 Facing mortality

8 Not knowing it all

9 Looking for love

Needless to say, there are far more potential answers than those on the above list. The nine offered here correspond broadly to the nine phases of my own life, from my origins to the present day. For I have used my own experience as the source material for answering the question of what it is to be human. To arrive at the general, I go via the specific.

What results is an autobiographical narrative that serves up philosophical insights along the way. But I should stress that the narrative has many gaps. It is not supposed to be a complete life story. My criterion for selecting content was how fertile it appeared to be from a philosophic point of view. If people or periods are represented unevenly, that is why. For example, because of circumstances unique to him, my father Colin plays a more leading role in the text than does my mother. In real life, she is no less important. This book is dedicated to them both.

In the vast majority of cases, I have changed people’s names for the sake of anonymity. When talking about individuals, disguised or otherwise, I have been as even-handed as I can be. I recognise that judgements are hard to keep out of one’s descriptions of other people, but the agenda here is philosophical rather than personal. Besides, it is the flaws in my own character that will be the most conspicuous by far.