The Wives - Wherever You Are - The Military Wives - Our true stories of heartbreak, hope and love

I’m lucky, because he’s very laid-back, so there aren’t emotional or mental problems when he gets back. He just looks a bit odd: he’s mucky, smelly, hairy and a funny colour.

When he’s away, it’s as if your whole life is on pause. You don’t even like to go out and have fun: it feels wrong while he’s out there, as though you are betraying him in some way. But you can’t spend a whole tour sitting by the telephone. As soon as the kids were old enough, I found a job. I can’t imagine sitting around all day; I like to keep busy. When we were in Bordon I worked in a home with adults with learning and physical disabilities, and I loved it. A year later we were on the move again, back to Chivenor. We’ve been here now for seven years, which for a military wife is fantastic. I haven’t had to pack my home up for ages, but I know we’ll be on the move again soon, first to Plymouth and then possibly back to Bordon. I’m not looking forward to leaving all my friends, but I already know loads of the girls in Plymouth.

I’d heard so many bad stories about Chivenor being unfriendly and isolated. But we moved in the summer, which makes a big difference. When the sun shines, everything looks good, and there are great beaches and great walks. I thought: What the hell’s wrong with everybody? This is a really good place.

I guess if you move in winter it’s different. And I’m lucky because I’ve got a great job as the deputy manager of the local nursery. We’ve made the tough decision to put the boys into boarding school, because of the moves that are coming up. It’s important for them to have continuity of education, so that they keep the same friends all the way through school, and they don’t have the disruption of packing up and moving. Callum loves it, and Owen is joining him at the same school. It’s me that misses them; they’re really happy. It’s a decision you have to face. We get a lot of help with the fees, and we’ve decided it’s better for the boys. For me it means that every time David, who will soon be a sergeant, moves, I’ll go with him.

The choir has been one of the best things ever, for me: I know that if he goes away again, I’ll have the choir to support me.

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