Jane Lark - The Lost Love of a Soldier - A timeless Historical romance for fans of War and Peace

Paul’s letter was warm against her heated breast. Yes, she had thought, and she had made a choice – to leave. “Yes, Papa.”

Until this summer she’d thought her father was unaware of his daughters, they’d grown up in the hands of servants, with a daily visit from her mother. But last year she’d reached a marriageable age, and now he saw her – but only as a bargaining tool. He wished her to marry to secure a political alliance.

“And are you sorry?”

Ellen’s gaze dropped to his shoes. She felt no regret. “Yes, Papa.”

“You will take Argyle?”

Ellen took a breath longing for courage. She did not feel able to lie to that extent.

“Eleanor?”

Looking up, she faced his stern condemning glare. His expression was as unreadable as marble. “I cannot, Papa. I do not wish to marry His Grace.” Her father had a way of making other people seem small and insignificant – incapable. “Papa?” Do you love me? Will you miss me?

“You do not have a choice, Eleanor. You will do your duty.”

His gaze held her at a distance, blunt and cold.

Hers reached out, begging for a sign of his affection. “I cannot, Papa. He is so old, and–”

“You are being wilful and defiant, Eleanor. You will do as I say and that is an end to it.”

The words inside her pressed to escape catching up in a ball in her throat as she longed to plead, to make him accept Paul, but her father did not like emotion. As children they’d always been taken from his presence whenever there were tears, or shouts or laughter. But today, today she could not quite hold herself back. “Papa, please… What would be so wrong with Paul? I love him and he loves me…”

He gave no obvious sign his anger had escalated, yet she knew. It was in the stiffness of his body, in the cut of his silver eyes as they glared at her. He was like her in appearance – or rather she was like him. She had his eyes and his jet black hair and pale skin. But she was nothing like him in nature, and she did not wish to be. What possessed a man to be so cold? He would be handsome if he smiled but he never smiled, merely glowered and growled.

“Do not be ridiculous, Eleanor. Love? What is love?” Something you do not feel, Papa. “You are talking nonsense. There is nothing in it. You are the daughter of a duke. You have a duty and responsibility, and that is what you must think of in a marriage. It seems you are unrepentant then, and you’ve learned no lesson at all. You will spend the next full day on your knees. Study the bible, ask for forgiveness and pray for guidance. You will learn, Eleanor. Your mother has been too lenient, letting you dream of such fanciful things. I’ll return tomorrow.”

I’ll be gone tomorrow. She could continue to argue, she could beg and try to cajole, but her father would never change his mind; he had never done a single thing out of kindness.

Eleanor lowered in another curtsy. “As you say, Papa.”

“As I say indeed, Eleanor. It will be so. You will marry Argyle. I shall write to him today.” You may write, Papa, but I shall never marry him.

“Kneel at your bed, child.” She turned and did so, she’d never disobeyed him and even now her heartbeat thundered at the thought of doing so in a few hours. Where would she find the courage? From Paul. Her father would be so angry.

As Ellen lifted her skirt and knelt, her father turned to the door and called to a footman. “Bring the bible from the chapel, my daughter needs time to search her soul.”

No she did not. She had found what her soul looked for. She’d found Paul.

~

“Ellen?” A quiet knock struck her bedchamber door.

“Penny?” Ellen stood. It was dusk, her family had probably just eaten dinner, and their father would be sitting alone at the table drinking his port.

The handle of her door turned but it would not open. Papa had the key.

“Mama said I must not speak to you, Papa has forbidden it, so of course she will not come, yet I had to know you are well. Are you hungry? Do you wish me to send you something to eat? Has he beaten you?”

Ellen rose from her kneeling position; she should not move, and yet she could not shout across the room in case someone heard and told tales on them. Then Penny would be in trouble too.

Ellen pressed her fingers against the door, leaning to whisper through it. “I know, and I know Mama cannot defend me, she must obey Papa. I do not want him to be angry with her or you. You should go, Penny…”

“Why?”

“Paul made an offer. Papa refused it. He is angry because I encouraged Paul. Do not become caught up in this or Papa will confine you to your room too.”

“Paul? Captain Harding? Oh Ellen. I like him.”

Resting her forehead against the wood, Ellen smiled. “As do I, but Papa does not. He wishes me to accept the Duke of Argyle.”

“Ellen… I shall come through the servants’ way and speak with you. You cannot marry that old man. He is awful.”

“No. Papa would be furious. Do not take the risk. I can manage, I am merely a little cold and hungry,” and I will be gone soon…

“But you will not agree to marry that old man. I saw him in the summer and–”

“Of course not.” An urge to share the truth and speak of her elopement shot through Ellen’s heart, another arrow of love passing through it, but it would be wrong to involve Penny. Penny was fifteen, she would not be able to hide her knowledge if their father questioned her, and Ellen would not have Penny hurt.

“I miss you. Rebecca and Sylvia do nothing but play silly games. Life is so dull without you.”

Penny’s words tugged as if a cord was tethered to the arrow through Ellen’s heart, and Penny pulled it.

But Ellen could not stay. She wanted to be with Paul.

Her hands trembled as her palms pressed against the wood and she leant closer, feeling the presence of her sister on the other side in every fibre of her body …

This life, this house, was all Ellen had known. She’d never travelled beyond the local towns.

Paul had travelled the world. He’d told her what life as an army officer’s wife would be. Hard. She was not to expect luxury. But she would be loved and cared for and adored by him. She longed for it. Her heart ached for it. But voices in her head whispered, be afraid …

“You will manage without me Penny.”

“I know I shall. It will only be for a few days Papa cannot keep you locked away forever.”

“Yes, only for a few days…” Years. A desire to speak the truth to Penny fought to break the words from Ellen’s lips. But if her father discovered Penny had been told he’d hurt her. “You’d better go. I’d never forgive myself if you’re caught.”

“As soon as Papa allows you to come out, find me and tell me everything. Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Good-bye.”

“Good-bye.” Tears flooded Ellen’s eyes as she heard her sister go.

Leaving Penny behind without explanation, would cause Penny pain, but it tore at Ellen’s heart too.

~

The room had become bitterly cold. Her father had forbidden anyone to tend the fire. It had burned out hours ago. Ellen’s knees ached from kneeling, yet still she’d not risen, even though no one watched her. Her father’s will had been forced upon her for so many years it was her instinct to obey. Yet she’d break that tether at midnight.

She read through the Ten Commandments for the thousandth time. “ Thou shalt honour thy father and mother.”

Was she about to sin then, because she was going to run away and betray them? Her mother would be heartbroken – she knew how to love. She was even loyal to Ellen’s father, respecting their marriage vows despite his coldness towards them all.