Zita West - Zita West’s Guide to Getting Pregnant

The majority of couples don’t have a problem conceiving, but if you have bought this book, maybe getting pregnant isn’t happening for you as quickly as you would like and you are looking for some information and answers. No matter what route you take, I believe that you can take control of your own fertility – not hand it over to a doctor or fertility clinic. This is how I work with the women and men who come to see me. I don’t give them a pre-set, ‘one size fits all’ formula. Each couple is unique, and while their emotional and physical well-being is my main concern, I don’t tell them what to do. Together we work out what will work best for them. It is my hope that this book will help you do the same. I am really delighted that more and more clinics are starting to take on my work, particularly as of course not everyone can come to our clinic. My aim in this book is to help you to plan the best course of action for you, and to indicate the kind of treatments you should try to find in your own locality.

Day after day I sit with couples who have experienced difficulties at every stage of the fertility process, from the pre-conceptual check-up to those who have battled with miscarriage or assisted conception. Each of these couples has the same goal: they want to have a baby. Some are more desperate than others, and with desperation comes a kind of vulnerability. Many couples are running down endless routes, trying every available therapy without any real focus.

Many come to me just as they are about to embark on their goal. They are still optimistic – and usually with good reason – and want reassurance about their approach to conception and what steps to take in adjusting their lifestyle, diet or activities. They prove how starting off on the right foot can make all the difference; I have seen the results, and have a clinic full of photos of smiling mothers and babies to prove it.

Others who come to see me have already pursued all sorts of ways to get pregnant, and know they are having problems. Sometimes just the process of being listened to and being asked the appropriate questions elicits that nugget of information that may be key to the outcome (which is why the questionnaire I use is so detailed).

For example, I see many, many couples who are just not having sex often enough. It’s as simple as that, but just saying ‘have more sex’ wouldn’t be helpful. Helping a couple take a really good look at their lifestyle can be a real turning-point in their whole approach to having a baby, demonstrating the need for a radical change in their priorities and for unqualified commitment. The baby is not just another ‘must do’ item to fit into their life-plan.

There are so many myths around nutrition, intimacy and sex (see Male and Female Fertility chapters). Many GPs and clinics don’t ask enough about couples’ sex lives; the usual question is ‘Are you having regular sex?’ But what is regular sex? Once every Sunday morning may be regular sex to you, but it doesn’t help if you are ovulating on a Wednesday. Also, couples who are on different schedules, do shift work, travel a lot-these are all huge factors when you are trying to conceive. There can also be psychosexual problems, and naturally many couples are embarrassed to discuss such matters, particularly if their GP or clinician is not asking the right questions, of if he is not making them feel comfortable or even worthy of his complete attention.

Basic knowledge about anatomy and physiology is one area that inevitably needs to be explored. Not the nuts and bolts of what goes where, but the details of a woman’s fertility cycle, and what the implications are for ovulation and possible conception. This is why fertility awareness is so integral to the way I work. Spending a king’s ransom on ovulation-predictor tests won’t help if you think your cycle is 28 days when what is normal for you is a 35-day cycle. Many women have been on the Pill for a long time and have no idea what their normal cycle is; nevertheless they often feel embarrassed by discussions around basic biology, as they feel they ought to know all about it.

In my experience of looking after couples who are trying to get pregnant, I am convinced that the neglect of the man’s role in conception has also confounded many of their attempts to have a baby. The man is very often badly neglected when it comes to assessing a couple’s fertility. A quick, cursory look at the quality and quantity of his sperm is about all that’s done in most fertility clinics, with all the emphasis focused – often wrongly – on the woman. There may also be a notion that the whole of a man’s ego and masculinity is bound up in his sperm, making any possible criticism – or even discussion – of his effectiveness in this area an attack on his masculinity. Neglecting a man’s role in the scheme of things is not helpful. The way I work places as much importance on the man’s role in conception as the woman’s, which is why the questionnaire I supply for men is just as detailed as the one for women.

Many couples find my approach to be very different from a consultation with their GP or a fertility clinic. The physical checks they give to patients’ reproductive organs, systems and processes are, of course, invaluable, but there is often more to it than this. I take a holistic approach, taking into account the social, emotional and lifestyle context of the couple as well as the pure mechanics of reproduction. The pre-consultation questionnaire provides me with an invaluable tool for assessing this wide range of issues, and also helps many couples to think about their lifestyle and their true aspirations.

Prior to the first consultation, couples who come to my clinic are given a detailed questionnaire, one for women and one for men. This covers:

• the main reason they are seeking a consultation

• fertility history

• contraceptive history

• sexual history

• sexual issues

• general medical history

• family history

• diet and exercise diary

• blood sugar profile

• digestion and elimination profile

• immune profile

• pollution profile

• vitamin and mineral status

• food allergy profile

• details about other hormonal-related conditions that may exist

These questionnaires are long and detailed, to provide, in conjunction with consultation, a full profile on which decisions about the way a couple can choose to proceed can be based.

The questionnaire helps pinpoint areas that may be affecting fertility: factors to do with nutrition and exercise are often highlighted. These may be associated with emotional or lifestyle issues. In this way I try to help couples focus on their situation, so that together we can work out a plan of action. After the initial assessment, we consider what tests, treatments or therapies might be necessary along with the steps a couple need to take for themselves to make conception more possible.

For example, a couple may use cocaine at weekends to relax and chill out. That is their choice, and it is essential that they do relax, but the effects are very serious and if they want to conceive a baby they must stop. I try and keep things very simple, with explanations – as you will see in this book – about why change may be necessary. In this way I encourage couples to take responsibility for their own fertility.

It’s self-evident that, if you want to improve your likelihood of achieving a successful pregnancy, you have to be willing to make changes. There is often an instinctive reaction against change, but, in truth, the necessary changes are likely to be in areas of your life that you recognize are causing you stress and difficulty. Getting things into perspective for pregnancy is likely to result in a much more balanced, well-managed and satisfactory lifestyle all round – but you need support, advice and encouragement to make this happen.