Coleen McLoughlin - Welcome to My World

One of the reasons my mum and dad started fostering was because they’d tried so hard to have kids and when the time was right they decided they wanted to give something back. It was after we’d all started school, and my mum felt she had the time on her hands that could be of benefit to others. They waited until we were at an age when we – Joe, Anthony and I – could understand what fostering meant and what it would mean to the family. They sat us down and discussed fostering with us, and said they would only do it if everyone was happy. We all thought the idea was a good one.

In the beginning, we looked after newborn babies, who would eventually go on to be with couples who couldn’t have kids and wanted to adopt. I can’t pretend that wasn’t sometimes hard on us. We quickly got attached to these kids and it was difficult to see them go, but, like my mum and dad said, we were giving them a good start. That’s how we came to have Rosie. At other times we’d have children with disabilities come to stay for the weekend every now and again, to give their parents a rest. At the moment we have this little boy called Jake who’s got Down’s syndrome. He comes once a month to stay with us – I say ‘us’ because I spend so much time at my mum and dad’s house that it still feels like home. When my parents first met, my mum was a nursery nurse, but she gave up work to bring up her family. Dad was a bricklayer, but in the end he had to give up because of prolapsed discs in his back, and so now he devotes his time to Rosie, fostering, the local hospital and the church. My dad is quite religious, and religion and the church – we’re Roman Catholics – have always played a big part in our lives. My first Holy Communion at the age of seven is still a very special memory for me.

However, as much as dad is religious, it’s never been something he’s imposed on us. At the age of sixteen we were all given the choice of whether we wanted to go to church any more, we weren’t forced to go. Nowadays, I don’t go as much as I’d like to, but I do go every now and again.

Up until I was four we lived in Garston, where my dad’s family comes from, in a two-up, two-down. Then, afterwards, we moved to Croxteth to the council house where my mum had grown up. My mum’s mum had died of cancer before I was born and my granddad lived on his own. He moved out to be with his girlfriend, and we moved in, but later he came back to live with us. It’s always been the family home. In the end, with conversions for Rosie, we had five bedrooms. The house was always full. My mum’s got a big family – two brothers and five sisters – and my dad has two brothers and two sisters, and every Saturday all the family used to come and visit. My memories of that house are that it was always busy and warm, like any family home should be. I say ‘was’ because last year I was lucky enough to be able to buy my mum and dad a new house. It’s not that far away from Croxteth, but it has just a little bit more room and privacy. Having said that, Auntie Shelagh and her partner, Mick, are going to rent our old house in Croxteth. I love the thought that Auntie Shelagh’s moving in. She used to come and look after me and my brothers whenever my mum and dad took disabled kids to Lourdes and Disneyland when I was younger. Auntie Shelagh moving in just means the house still remains the family home, which is really lovely.

I’ll always be a Croxteth girl and Liverpool will always be home. It’s a friendly city. Everyone is down to earth and has a great sense of humour. We used to live just on the border between Croxteth and Norris Green, and when I was younger I would hang out in Norris Green, but as I got older I spent more time in Croxteth. I enjoy it up there, I feel safe, and there’s always someone you know around. All the neighbours have seen me grow up from a little girl to where I am now. That’s great, because I can just go to the shops and people won’t treat me as any different from anyone else. It’s just normal. When everything in my life isn’t always so normal, it’s nice to go back there.

I went to school in Croxteth. My primary school was St Teresa’s in Norris Green and then I went to St John Bosco High School in Croxteth after that. I always loved school, but I also loved the lesson breaks and chatting with my mates. I wouldn’t say I was a brainy kid, but when I tried hard I did well. I was always in the top sets, worked hard, did my homework, and ended up with ten GCSEs – A* in Performing Arts, As in English Language, RE and Technology/Textiles, and Bs in Maths, English Literature, French, Spanish and Science. I was on the Student Council, and involved in loads of different stuff, and in the sixth form the rest of the year voted me Deputy Head Girl. A year before I’d set up the buddy system. It was a counselling service that allowed girls in the younger years who were having problems to come to an older pupil for advice or help instead of going to a teacher. It worked because some kids are scared of taking their problems to a teacher and they would rather talk with someone of their own age.

When I went to see the careers advisor we chatted about what I was going to do in terms of university. For me, the choice was either Performing Arts or Media.

I used to love drama classes. Throughout my school years, if you’d asked me what I wanted to be when I got older I would have told you that my dream was to become an actress. In my first year at school we did musicals like Calamity Jane and The Wizard of Oz. I was young so I only got little parts – I was an extra in Calamity Jane and a munchkin in The Wizard of Oz. Later on I was in The Sound of Music as one of the von Trapp kids. I used to love it. I’d also go to drama school at night and I had a couple of walk-on parts in Hollyoaks. I just loved performing. From the age of 13, I also used to go to dance classes and was part of a dance troupe called The Harlequin. I would have loved to have gone to stage school, but you have to be good at singing too, so that counted me out. They reckon you can train a voice to sing but, believe me, they couldn’t train mine!

These days, one of my favourite ways of relaxing is going to the theatre and seeing a show. It’s then that I start thinking about how much I miss that part of my life. Recently, I’ve had invites to go and speak to the people at Coronation Street and do screen tests for Hollyoaks , but when I sat down and thought about it, I felt it was something for the future but not for right now. Maybe later on, when the spotlight on me has died down a bit, I might decide to give it a try. At the moment I think it would be hard for people to watch me on screen and see me as anyone other than Coleen McLoughlin.

I did think seriously about studying for a degree in Performing Arts, but even then I appreciated how hard the industry is to get into and the need for a back-up plan.

At the time, I was considering looking into teaching and journalism as alternatives. That was the way my life was going. Then, when I went into the lower sixth, I stopped enjoying school as much. By the end of that year I’d started going out with Wayne and things were changing for me. It’s not that I began to hate school, it’s just that I didn’t enjoy it like I used to, I was losing interest and my life outside was changing. By the upper sixth I’d started doing bits and bobs for magazines, and I just thought, ‘What’s the point in staying here if I’m not going to achieve the marks I’m capable of?’ When I told my mum and dad how I felt they understood and were totally supportive. Their main priority was for me to be happy, and they realized I wasn’t.

I wouldn’t say I’m particularly gifted academically. I had to work really hard to achieve the grades I did, so my parents understood my feelings, and that there was no point staying on if my heart wasn’t in it. Telling the teachers was really hard. They tried their best to persuade me to stay but I’d already made my mind up. I got on particularly well with one teacher, Miss Tremarco, who’d been my first-form teacher and took me for Performing Arts, and she sat me down and asked me whether I understood what I was doing. But deep down she knew I would have been miserable had I stayed on. My view then and now is that I can always go back to college one day and study, which is something I might well do, but at the time my life was changing and it made sense to leave. I have no regrets about that. I wouldn’t say Wayne was the reason I left school, but he obviously played a big part in my decision.