Josephine Cox - The Broken Man

As they were ushered inside, Adam clung to Phil; and Phil felt that Adam was resisting every step. ‘It’ll be all right, son,’ he confided. ‘She looks like a nice, jolly sort. Oh, and look!’ He pointed to one of the long casement windows. ‘The children are waving at you. Oh, Adam! I really think you’ll make friends here, but I’ve a feeling it won’t be too long before you’re settled into a fine, loving family.’

Adam was not listening; nor was he looking at the children. Instead, he was thinking of his mother, of her smile and her laughter, and the way she always cuddled him, too tight, and too often; almost as though she could not let him go.

Now, she would never cuddle him again, or laugh out loud, or wave him off when he climbed onto the school bus.

When the inevitable tears came, he quietly wiped them away with the cuff of his sleeve.

Phil had seen the tears, though, and wrapping his arm round the boy’s shoulders, he drew him close.

Minutes later, as they walked through the door and into the huge, wood-panelled hallway, Phil had a feeling of dread.

He feared for the future, and with the boy still reeling from the loss of his mother, and his heart heavy with hatred for the man who he believed had caused her death, he was at his most vulnerable.

Phil could not help but wonder how this sad and lonely child would ever again find a sense of peace.

He felt as though somehow he had been appointed guardian. And so, come what may, and for as long as it took, he promised himself that he would watch over Adam as though he were his own flesh and blood.

Miss Martin seemed friendly enough, and as she waddled ahead, they were informed of occasional events that took place in the home.

‘We keep an orderly house, but that is not to say we don’t ever have fun. We also like to reward hard work and good behaviour. We’re privileged to have at least one summer trip to the seaside, and we always celebrate Christmas.’

There were many rooms in the house, and it took the best part of an hour to visit each one. The great hall was very much designed in the manner of the hallway itself, with wall panels above the skirting, and tall, arched windows. At one end there was a raised pulpit.

‘This is where we gather for morning prayers and address the various matters of the week,’ Miss Martin said.

As they toured the downstairs, Adam remained silent, as did Phil, though the officials did ask questions now and then, in order to gain more information for the benefit of Phil and Adam.

At the front of the building there were classrooms and other, brighter, rooms for play. Adam and Phil had the opportunity to watch the younger children playing happily, with the staff being very caring and supportive.

Of the other rooms, some were dedicated to early learning, while another, with rows of seats and a huge screen, was set aside for additional education and the occasional film treat.

From one small room came the sound of music, and when they peeped inside, Phil and Adam were surprised to see a boy of about Adam’s age playing the piano.

Miss Martin was very proud. ‘I had to fight the authorities tooth and nail in order for piano lessons to be agreed,’ she told them, ‘but the piano is mine, so there was no cost to be made.’

She gestured to the old man overseeing the playing. White-haired, and with a slightly bent back, he had his eyes closed, and was obviously intent on the boy’s playing.

‘That’s my uncle,’ she explained. ‘He’s a retired music teacher, and lives quite close. He kindly gives his time freely in order to encourage the talented amongst us.’ Softly, she closed the door. ‘There is more for you to see,’ and with a wide and pleasant smile, she urged them onward.

The back of the house was given over to the kitchens, toilet facilities, and accommodation for junior staff.

Upstairs was divided into two. The lesser area was dedicated to the senior staff. ‘We have no need to tour this side,’ Miss Martin informed them. ‘It’s merely private offices and accommodation.’

The larger and better secured half of the upper floors was the children’s dormitories, with a small office close by for the duty night officer.

All too soon it was time for Phil to say goodbye to Adam. ‘Remember what I said,’ Phil reminded him. ‘Anything that worries you … anything at all, we’ll discuss it tomorrow, when I come and see you.’ He turned to Miss Martin. ‘Do you have specific visiting times?’

‘Of course. We can’t have people popping in and out at will. It’s necessary for both staff and children to work with an orderly timetable, although, of course, in cases of emergency, we can be flexible.’

Bypassing Phil, she enquired of the officials, ‘So, does Adam have any belongings with him?’

‘I’m afraid not.’ Miss Benson walked her away from the group. ‘I assume you’ve been informed of the circumstances?’

‘Of course, yes, I do understand. But Adam will feel more comfortable if he could possibly have a few of his own things with him … his regular clothes and personal things.’

‘Yes, I understand. I can’t promise anything, but I will try.’

‘Oh, please do. It really will make all the difference to him settling in.’

There followed the inevitable tears, with Adam clinging to Phil.

‘I don’t want to stay here, Phil.’

Phil’s heart ached as he confided, ‘For the moment there’s nothing we can do about it, son. Just remember. I won’t be far away, and I’ll be back every day. So you’re not alone. Always remember that.’

‘Phil?’

‘Yes, son?’

‘What about my mum?’

Phil took him by the shoulders. ‘Listen to what I say now. Your mum is in a safer and happier place, and she’s watching over you. If you ever need to confide in her, then do so any time, any place, and she will hear you clear as a bell. As for everything else, just you leave it to me. I’ll talk to whoever’s in charge, and I’ll get all the answers you need, I promise …’ he laid his hand across his chest, ‘… hand on heart, I truly will.’

‘You mustn’t worry too much about Adam,’ Miss Martin informed Phil. ‘We’ll soon have him settled in, and he’ll be fine. You wait and see.’ She smiled at Adam. ‘I’ll do my best to get some of your personal possessions brought in. It would certainly help if you could make me a list of the things you cherish most.’ When Adam gave no answer, she added, ‘Just have a little think about it.’ She then plucked a leaflet from the hallway table, and handed it to Phil. ‘You’ll need this, Mr …?’ She recalled that Phil had been introduced already, and she was irritated that her memory was not what it used to be, although she never lost sight of what was most important: the children and their welfare.

‘Wallis … the name is Phil Wallis, and you can be sure I’ll be back here tomorrow, and every day I’m allowed.’

‘I see.’ She made a smile, but behind the smile she was wondering if this determined man was a pain in the making. She could see, however, that Phil Wallis was sincere in his concern for the boy.

A few minutes later they were outside in the porch. ‘I’ll be thinking of you, son,’ Phil promised. ‘Happen when I come back tomorrow, you’ll have made a friend or two.’

Adam began to panic. Throwing his arms round Phil’s ample belly, he pleaded tearfully, ‘I’m frightened. Please, Phil, let me come home with you.’

It took every ounce of strength for Phil to speak calmly and reassure the boy. Holding him at arm’s length, he stooped to his level, and, looking into his eyes, he asked, ‘Do you think I would ever lie to you?’

Adam shook his head.

‘So, you must know that what I’ve told you is the truth, that your mother is watching over you, and that she won’t let any harm come to you. And don’t forget, you’ll always have me looking out for you.’