T Williams - What Happens at the Beach...

She made two mugs of tea and took them out onto the terrace. As she set them down on the table, she studied her grandmother’s face in the bright morning light. She was still as beautiful as ever and she had even put on some make-up in an attempt to hide the dark rings under her eyes. She was thinner than the last time Natalie had seen her, her hair now more white than grey and, of course, she was the last of Natalie’s family. And Natalie knew only too well that, when her gran died, she would be totally alone. It was a very scary thought. She sat down alongside her and reached over to take her hand.

‘How’re you feeling, Gran?’

‘I’m feeling fine, my dear.’ And, indeed, she looked bright and cheerful this glorious sunny morning. Her grandmother dropped her other hand down on top of Natalie’s. ‘These drugs are very good. To be honest, I almost feel I could walk down to the beach and go for a swim.’

‘Well, we could do that if you like. You said you’ve still got the car. I can drive you down to the beach if you want.’

Her grandmother smiled; a gentle, weary smile. ‘Let’s see how I feel a bit later on. I’m not sure I’m really strong enough for a swim and, besides, my costume wouldn’t fit these days.’ She caught Natalie’s eye. ‘When I was your age I was oh so careful about what I ate, so as to keep my figure. Now I eat and I eat, but the weight just drops off me.’ She released Natalie’s hand and reached for her tea. She took a sip and breathed out appreciatively. ‘Ah, yes, that’s just right. Now, tell me all your news.’ Her expression darkened. ‘You’re looking very tired. What’s the trouble?’

Natalie had arrived at the house at just after six o’clock the previous evening and found her grandmother laying the table out on the terrace. She had prepared a cold evening meal for them. True to her word, there was a bottle of cold white wine in the fridge and she helped Natalie drink most of it. Afterwards there were fresh figs from the old tree in the garden. Although the two of them chatted throughout their dinner, Natalie had steered clear of any reference to the events at Marjorie’s garden party. Her grandmother had soon begun to tire and both of them had gone to bed early. In consequence, they still had a lot of catching up to do. Now, in the cold light of day, Natalie knew the time had come to tell all. She looked across the table.

‘It’s been a long, hard last few months, Gran, for all sorts of reasons, not just my research. Anyway, David and I have split up.’

Her grandmother sipped the tea and nodded. ‘Oh, I’m so sorry.’ She caught Natalie’s hand in hers. ‘You mean, really split up? For ever?’

Natalie nodded her head slowly. She had been asking herself this question for thirty-six hours now and the answer came back the same every time. ‘I’m afraid so, Gran. That’s it as far as David’s concerned, not least as I refuse to have anything more to do with his mother or his sister. And that would make the wedding a bit difficult, to say the least.’

‘What on earth did they do to you?’

Natalie recounted the doubts that had been assailing her over the past few months, terminating with the conversation she had overheard, followed by her fiancé’s refusal to side with her. Her grandmother listened gravely, before passing judgement.

‘Well, it sounds to me as if you’re better off not getting involved any further with an awful woman like that. As for David, you never know. He may come to his senses and realise what he’s missing. If he’s as bright as you say he is, he’ll know that you’re more important to him than a nasty woman like that. Just you wait.’

Natalie shook her head. ‘Somehow I doubt it. I’m pretty certain I’m not more important to him than his mother, and certainly not his career. He’s dead set on becoming the number one lawyer in the whole of England. Now, I’ve got nothing against him working hard. In fact, that’s good and I respect him for it. I’ve been working really hard myself. But it’s all the bowing and scraping, keeping up appearances, dressing up for stupid parties and fawning on his boss that he wants me to do that gets me down. I don’t think he’s going to let anything, or anybody, get in the way of his career plans.’ She caught her grandmother’s eye. ‘And that includes me.’

‘Then he’s a fool. Look at you, Natalie. You’re so, so beautiful. You’re clever, very clever, and you’re a fine, kind girl. If he’s too stupid to want to hang on to you, then there are thousands, millions of men out there who would jump at the chance. But what about you? Is he worth fighting for? Do you miss him? Do you, maybe, still love him?’ Her eyes twinkled from beneath her long eyelashes.

Natalie’s grandmother had been telling her she was beautiful for so many years now that it had long since ceased to have any meaning. As for the question of her feelings for David, that wasn’t too hard to answer. ‘I’ve known him for almost five years and we’ve been living together for three. I did love him at the beginning, or at least I thought I did. He was my anchor, my mainstay in England after Mum and Dad died. I felt sure I could count on him and that meant an awful lot.’ She looked up and exchanged glances with her grandmother. ‘I was so terribly, terribly lonely after the accident. The problem is that trying to escape from loneliness isn’t the best foundation for a successful relationship. We’ve been arguing about it more and more since Christmas, and I hoped it was just a phase he was going through and he’d change back again. But now I know that’s not going to happen.’

‘And what about you, Natalie? Have you changed?’ Her grandmother was staring out across the hillside. ‘We all change, you know. Did your studies maybe make you a bit less sympathetic to his needs? It’s a two-way thing, you know.’

Natalie took a mouthful of tea. ‘You’re right, Gran, of course you’re right. I have been obsessing about my studies, I know. I wanted to do the very best I could and I suppose, looking back on it, this made me selfish in my own way. I probably didn’t try hard enough to keep the relationship going and I can see that now.’ She saw her grandmother nod sagely. ‘But, even so, when he had his chance to stand up and defend me against his mother and listen to my side of things at that bloody party, he blew it.’ She paused for a moment of self-analysis. ‘To be quite honest, Gran, it’s not so much what his mother said, it’s the fact that, by not standing up for me, David the rock, David my anchor, ceased to exist. I realised then that he’s not really interested in what happens to me and I’m back on my own again, and I’m better off without him.’ She paused again, searching for words. ‘You’re right, Gran. I have changed. I don’t necessarily like being on my own, but I’m no longer as desperate for support and company as I was. The best thing was to make a clean break and that’s what I’ve done. What I need isn’t a rock or an anchor. It’s an equal partner.’

‘I’m so pleased to hear you say that, Natalie. You’re so right. But, anyway, don’t let it get you down too much. You’re doing the right thing, I’m sure. And you’re not on your own, darling. You’ve got me, after all.’ She gave Natalie a comforting smile. ‘And anyway, like I say, you’re a very pretty girl and you’ll soon have the men fighting over you.’

Natalie shook her head. ‘The last thing I want for now is anything to do with another man. The fact is, all that’ll happen is I’ll think I’ve found somebody to be with and then, a year or two down the line, it’ll all fall apart again, just like it’s done with David. My number one priority for now is to find myself a job and a place to live. I’m going to concentrate on becoming self-sufficient. Maybe I’m better off on my own anyway, Granny.’