Emma Heatherington - A Part of Me and You - An empowering and incredibly moving novel that will make you laugh and cry

A division of HarperCollins Publishers

www.harpercollins.co.uk

Harper Impulse

an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd

1 London Bridge Street

London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Publishers 2018

Copyright © Emma Heatherington 2018

Cover images © Shutterstock.com

Cover design © HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2018

Emma Heatherington asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work.

A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library.

This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins.

Source ISBN: 9780008281250

Ebook Edition © January 2018 ISBN:9780007568833

Version: 2018-09-24

Table of Contents

Cover

Title Page A division of HarperCollins Publishers www.harpercollins.co.uk

Copyright Harper Impulse an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF www.harpercollins.co.uk First published in Great Britain by HarperCollins Publishers 2018 Copyright © Emma Heatherington 2018 Cover images © Shutterstock.com Cover design © HarperCollins Publishers Ltd 2018 Emma Heatherington asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work. A catalogue copy of this book is available from the British Library. This novel is entirely a work of fiction. The names, characters and incidents portrayed in it are the work of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or localities is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins. Source ISBN: 9780008281250 Ebook Edition © January 2018 ISBN:9780007568833 Version: 2018-09-24

Dedication For Jim In memory of our two little angels in heaven who we never got to meet. They will always be a part of me and you x

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Epilogue

Acknowledgements

Also by Emma Heatherington

About the Author

About the Publisher

For Jim

In memory of our two little angels in heaven who we never got to meet. They will always be a part of me and you x

Juliette

Queen Elizabeth Hospital, Birmingham, England

FRIDAY

I am just about getting used to the idea of turning forty when I’m told I am going to die pretty soon. Let’s face it, you can’t get much more ironic than that.

‘So much for “life begins”,’ I mutter to my doctor Michael who looks at me with remorse as I give him a nervous smile and a ‘ shit happens’ style shrug. My face is telling a lie. My tongue is telling a lie. I am trying to pretend I am okay but of course I am not okay. Inside I am crying. I am forty and I am dying and I am not okay at all.

I stare at the floor until the pattern on the carpet makes my head spin and the ticking of the clock seems to get louder and louder as we both try to think of what to say next. The big loud hands of time, chasing each other in circles, taunting me as my life ticks away, hours, minutes, seconds … stop.

Michael looks up at me like he might cry too, lost for words for once.

We’ve come quite a long way over the past three years since we were first paired up on this cancer journey and here we are now, reaching the end we had hoped we’d never have to face. The part where he tells me, as my consultant, that there’s nothing more we can do except wait for the inevitable, for my share of the journey to end. The part where he tells me, as my friend, that all our battles through treatment, our suffering, our praying and positivity, all of it is now just a waiting game.

If only it was as simple as waiting – but I can’t just sit around and wait. I have so much I still want to do in life and now, already, it’s all about to end.

I go to the window and look out onto the city rooftops. I open the window and inhale the air, fearing that if I don’t focus on something as simple as breathing I might faint, and we don’t need to add to the drama, do we?

‘Have you spoken to your family about this yet, Juliette?’ Michael asks me. He is fidgeting with his pen as he speaks. ‘I mean, I realise you didn’t know for definite what the outcome was before today, but have you prepared them at all, for the worst?’

I know without having to look at him that he has taken his glasses off to wipe them for the third time since I got here, just to give his hands something to do. He is such a fidget when he has to give bad news but this isn’t just bad news. This is the very last piece of news he will ever have to deliver to me. This is the beginning of the end for me.

‘My sister knows I’m here today, as does my mum, but they’re still holding out hope. It will be a shock to them no matter what’s going through their heads, no matter what they’ve been expecting, this will be the very worst, obviously,’ I tell him.

‘And Rosie?’

Oh God.

‘Rosie thinks … Rosie thinks I’m having a pamper day for my birthday at a spa with some friends today. She has no idea what’s going on … not yet.’

My voice cracks when I say my young daughter’s name aloud. How am I going to tell her? How? She doesn’t have anyone else to lean on. She’s only ever had me.

‘And Dan?’

Michael is really making sure this news is sinking in, I’ll give him that much, as he lists the most important people in my life. My mouth dries up at the mention of Dan. I try to reply but I can’t.

‘You’re going to have to tell him, for goodness sake, Juliette,’ says Michael. ‘The man must be going off his head with worry. He is still part of your family too, no matter what you’ve gone through.’