Beth Thomas - His Other Life

‘Hi everyone,’ I said proudly. ‘This is Adam.’

They looked up as one from what they were doing – watching Doctor Who , I think – and stared open-mouthed at the golden Adonis that had dropped from Mount Olympus to stand at my side. There was a brief hiatus during which the Tardis materialised noisily, then Mum and my brother Robbie were scrabbling for the remote – ‘Pause it, pause it, quick, who’s got the thing, who’s got the cocking thing ?’ ‘I’ve got it, Christ, stop pressuring me, I’m doing it!’ – Lauren was standing up slowly, trying to look like Pussy Galore; and Dad leaned back in his chair with a satisfied grin, as if to say, ‘finally’.

Adam looked coolly at everyone in turn, appraising, taking in, sizing up; and then, with a slow nod, said, ‘So. You’re the ones.’

‘The ones who?’ was the general enquiry that came from everyone. He paused before answering, so his statement had maximum impact. ‘The four people in the world who think Doctor Who is worth watching.’

Adam was my landlord. Don’t worry, no impropriety took place, a tenant dating her landlord; I’ve Googled it and there’s nothing that says it’s inappropriate. It’s not as if he took advantage of me while I was renting a room in his house or anything hideous like that. No strategic holes in bathroom walls, no cameras planted in my room, no sleaze; just a shop on the high street. I’d gone in there a few months earlier to enquire about a flat I’d seen advertised in the local paper. My friend Annabel Price had lived there after having her illicit baby when the rest of us were still in the sixth form, and we all used to pile round after school and pretend to be grown-ups, alternating between consuming coffee and cigarettes on the fire escape, and holding the baby; while somewhere in the background Annabel sobbed into her sterilising tank.

I knew that hideous little place, I knew its mouldy walls and its stained carpets and the latent nappy smell and when I saw it advertised a thrill of excitement went through me and I got a fatalistic sense that it had been waiting for me. I was twenty-four at the time, so it was aeons and aeons since I’d left school, and here was a chance to relive those heady days. I’d had no desire at all to leave my parents’ place until that moment; but for Annabel Price’s flat, I knew I could make the break.

Adam was sitting at the single desk in his tiny office, which was squeezed in between the East of India and the dry cleaners. It had a plate-glass front with his name, ‘Adam Littleton’, etched onto it in an arc, and underneath it said ‘Estate Management’. It was very impressive. It was August and the sun was shining straight through that enormous window covering the floor with a gorgeous golden carpet, so inside was barbarically hot. As soon as I stepped through the door, my instinct was to run from the fire, but Adam looked at me and smiled, so I stayed. I did want that flat, after all.

‘Hi, how can I help?’ he asked straight away, standing up and coming around the desk, allowing no chance at all for the potential customer – me – to change their mind and leave.

I scanned the properties displayed on the walls, hoping to see the advert for the flat that had appeared in the paper. A small desk fan was rotating ineffectually on the desk. ‘Um, I saw a flat, in the paper …’

‘OK. Which paper was it?’

I blinked. I had been expecting him to ask which flat it was. ‘I think it was the Herald . It was a one-bedroom …’ But in that very small space of time, like a magician, he’d produced a sheet of paper from somewhere and was holding it out to me to check.

‘Is this the one?’

I moved forward and took one end of the paper. ‘Yes, that’s it.’ I looked up at him. ‘Is it still available?’

He whipped the paper away dramatically. ‘You don’t want to live there,’ he said, theatrically screwing up the sheet of paper and tossing it backwards over his shoulder, ‘it’s a dump.’

‘Oh, well, no, the thing is—’

‘Now, I’ve got something for you that’s a lot more suitable,’ he said, rubbing his hands together and opening and closing his fingers. ‘A much nicer place, coming on in a few days.’

‘But I don’t—’

‘Take it from me, you won’t believe your eyes when you see this.’ He focused on my eyes for a split second longer than necessary, rubbed his hands together again and flexed his fingers, then delicately reached into his top jacket pocket and pulled out a small, folded piece of paper. It was approximately the size of a postage stamp.

I stared down at it in the palm of his hand, then looked up at him and pressed my lips together. ‘I’m sure it’s lovely, but I don’t think it’s big enough for me.’

There was a second’s pause, then he burst out laughing, throwing his head back and guffawing fruitily, then leaning forward and clutching his tummy. It all felt a bit … exaggerated, as if he was trying to give me the impression that he thought I was hysterically funny, rather than actually thinking I was hysterically funny.

As I waited for him to calm down, waves of heat started to pour over me and I could feel sweat beading out everywhere. Eventually he stood up again and wiped his eyes, puffing out a couple of ‘whoo!’s and nodding appreciatively at me. ‘Oh my God, that was hilarious!’ he proclaimed. ‘You’re very funny.’ Incredibly, he still looked cool and dry, in spite of the heat.

‘Thank you. Um, can I just find out about the—?’

‘So this property is not even being advertised yet,’ he cut in, and began unfolding the sheet in his hand. ‘It’s so much more you, if you’ll forgive me. Classy, attractive, modern and stylish. I think you’re going to love it.’

I tried to raise my eyebrows sceptically, to indicate that I was not the type to succumb to mindless flattery. But inside my mind was jumping up and down and squealing, ‘He thinks I’m attractive!’

And he was right, the flat did look lovely. Obviously very recently decorated; new bathroom and kitchenette; brand new carpets everywhere; light, spacious rooms. It was definitely going to be far more than I could afford. ‘There’s no price on here,’ I pointed out, searching through the information sheet. ‘How much is the rent?’

‘Same as that other place.’

I widened my eyes. ‘No way!’

He nodded decisively. ‘Totally way.’

I stared down at the photos. ‘I don’t believe it.’ I looked up at him and found his eyes on me. He thinks I’m attractive! ‘It does look gorgeous,’ I said, holding out the sheet of paper towards him, ‘but I’m not sure it’s what I’m looking for.’

‘In what way?’

He was so abrupt, I was a bit startled. ‘Oh, um, only that it was that flat in the paper, on Hardwick Road, that I wanted specifically. I like it.’

‘But why would you want somewhere shabby like that when you can have this beautiful new place for the same money?’ He actually scratched his head. ‘It just doesn’t add up.’

I thought about it for a moment. He did make a very good point. But I had been so happy in Annabel’s flat, all those years ago. ‘No, well, it does for me. So, is it available?’

He leaned against the edge of the desk and put his hands down on either side. ‘Look, um, Miss …?’

‘Grace. Just call me Grace.’

‘OK, Grace. I’m going to make an assumption about you, if you’ll allow me. You’re planning on moving into this flat on your own, right?’

‘Well that’s fairly evident, seeing as I’m here on my own.’

‘Right. So you’ll be living there alone. What will you do if you need to change a fuse? What if the pipes burst? What if the electrics cause a fire? Supposing you need to re-plaster somewhere, or grout something. What will you do?’