Jane Lark - I Found You

~

“Hey,”

“Yeah, I know it’s late. I’m sorry, I…”

I woke in bed, hearing Jason Macinlay whispering in the room next door.

He’d changed the covers on the mattress while I’d bathed. The sheet and duvet cover smelt fresh and felt crisp.

I’d rather he’d left the old sheets on, it would have felt more comforting. I’d missed his scent from his sweatshirt. He’d thrown that in the washer, too, like I’d marked it and he needed to wash me off it.

Declan must have washed all the blood off by now, mine and his. I was gone from his life. That poisonous relationship was over.

“Something happened, Lindy. I couldn’t call earlier. But I’m calling now.”

The door was shut between the bedroom and the living space.

“Yeah, I know.”

I rolled over and listened more intently, I could even hear him breathing between the words.

He sounded defensive.

“Look…” The pitch of his voice dropped. “I found a girl on Manhattan Bridge, Lind. She was trying to jump. I couldn’t just leave her.”

There was silence for a moment as he breathed. I imagined this Lindy speaking at the other end.

“I brought her home.”

Silence.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Lindy, leave it, she’s no risk.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, honest, I’ll take care. I can look out for myself.”

“I know this is New York.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Look, I’m going to go. I don’t want to wake her.”

“She’s sleeping in my bed. I’m sleeping on the floor.”

“She won’t.”

“I won’t.”

“Look Lindy, I’ll call you tomorrow, normal time. I’m going to go now, and don’t worry.”

“Yeah, I love you, too.”

“Yeah, tomorrow.” He sighed, like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

I needed a drink. I threw the covers back and got up, then knocked on the door leading back into the living space.

He didn’t answer; he couldn’t have heard, but I didn’t like to just walk in. I knocked more loudly.

“Yeah?”

“You decent?”

He laughed. It was low and heavy. “Yeah.”

I opened the door.

He was sitting on the floor, gilded by the moonlight streaming through a floor to ceiling window which lit his living room. His arms were about his knees as one hand still gripped his cell and his head was bent a little forward.

He looked defeated.

“Sorry.” I didn’t even know why I apologized, I just felt as if I was intruding.

“It’s alright. Did I wake you? Sorry.”

“I want some water.” I moved to the kitchen counter and watched him as I ran it, waiting for it to run cool. He was wearing a loose t-shirt now, with boxers. His forearms and his shins were dusted with dark hair. I could see it even in the blue-black light in the room.

The clock on the TV flashed eleven-thirty. I didn’t feel as though I’d get back to sleep, and my hand was hurting like hell now; it was throbbing with the beat of my heart.

“Is she your girlfriend?”

“Lindy? Yeah.”

“She’s back in Oregon?”

“Yeah.”

“Bet she feels small town, now you’ve gone all big city.”

“Ha. Ha.” His pitch was dismissive. Life clearly wasn’t all roses between them.

“I suppose you’ve been with her forever. What was she, the head of the cheerleaders while you captained the football team?”

“You think you know me so well, don’t you…”

He had been captain of the football team.

I bet they were best looking girl and best looking boy in their year, and they’d gotten together because it was what everyone expected.

“I was the kid who sat in the corner and never had friends…” I didn’t know why I told him that, I just thought it might make him feel better.

“And now?”

My lips compressed.

Turning away, I opened a cupboard and found a glass. “Do you want a drink?”

“No thanks.”

I filled the glass and drank, as again the images of the mirror breaking disturbed my thoughts.

I pushed the memory away. I was starting over and forgetting that.

I moved about the counter, and leaned back against it, facing him. “So what’s wrong between you?”

“Tonight? You. She thinks you’re going to either jump me in my sleep, or steal all my stuff, like I have anything worth stealing.” His hand lifted and swept forward indicating the virtually empty room.

“She might be right, though?” I did feel like jumping him in his sleep. It would be a great way to escape the blackness which kept threatening to swamp me.

His gaze focused up at me as he scanned my face. “She could be right, yes…”

Well, he didn’t know me, and I’d said nothing about myself, bar my name and my age. “She isn’t. You’re safe.”

“Phew, thank fuck for that.”

I laughed. He was a nice guy. There weren’t many of those in the world. I wasn’t used to them.

My eyes shifted to the white pillow on the hard floor behind him. Then I looked at him again.

“So anyway, seeing as I’ve promised not to jump you in your sleep, why don’t you share the mattress? If you’re safe, it seems silly you trying to sleep out here.” I’d be good. He deserved for me to be good. He’d been kind to me.

He looked at me for a long moment. I didn’t move, holding out against his assessment.

I wasn’t blind. I knew he liked what he saw. I was wearing his t-shirt, my legs were bare, and I’d nothing on underneath. It would be so easy to be bad. His gaze ran up my legs and my body then came to my face. But he wasn’t that sort of guy.

All men looked. It didn’t mean all men let themselves touch.

“Yeah, okay, I won’t get any sleep here anyway.”

He picked up his pillow and stood, then lifted the pillow indicating for me to walk ahead.

I went into the bathroom, while he lay down on the mattress, under the covers.

When I came back in, he was watching me, one arm behind his head.

I said nothing, walked to the other side and got in.

He probably wouldn’t mind if I jumped him, but he’d have a hell of a conscience the next day when he spoke to his Lindy.

I turned my back to him and felt him roll onto his stomach. My body was intensely aware of his, and all I could hear was his breathing as he drifted into sleep, while all I could smell was his shampoo, because he’d showered after I’d bathed.

This had been a weird day, I’d finally left Declan and within hours I’d acquired a stranger. My brain wasn’t on the same page as where my life had gotten to. I’d walked out on the life of rich egotistical playboys, and into an opposite extreme.

An ex had once called me a parasite––maybe I was. But maybe I didn’t want to be anymore.

When I woke, Jason Macinlay was standing by the door of the bedroom, fully clothed, and looking down at me. He had on pants and a shirt and tie.

I had to think what day it was. Wednesday. It must be Wednesday.

Was he going to work? Did he want me to leave?

“I’m going now. Sorry to wake you, but I didn’t like to just leave…”

My eyes opened wider, and I met that brown gaze. It was even more distracting in daylight.

“Will you be okay if I go to work?”

“Yeah.” No. I didn’t know. I’d just woken up. I didn’t know how I felt. It always took a few minutes to gauge my mood.

He hesitated. He was a sexy guy with a tender heart. Where the hell had he come from? Oregon, I remembered.

“Are you sure? I could––” His voice was deep, and rugged with uncertainty.

“Stay home? Are you afraid I’ll steal your TV or your Xbox, after all?”