Jane Lark - I Found You

I knocked my beer against his in return. “And to letting our hair down.”

He flashed me a grin, “Well yours anyway…”

“What are you gonna let down then, Jason?” I pushed, joking with him. “Your guard?”

“My guard?”

“Yeah, no being-on-your-best-behavior, no looking out for me like some guardian-angel, and no holding back.”

He grinned again and shook his head.

“You’re relaxing tonight, and that’s an order, I want you so drunk you’re thinking about nothing but the moment––”

“And how I’m going to peel myself off the sidewalk…”

“Ha, ha, very funny. You’re gonna enjoy it, wait and see.”

He sipped his beer, then smiled.

He didn’t look convinced.

“I need the ladies’ room, I’ll be back in a moment.”

“Yeah.” I lifted my beer saluting her as she climbed off the stool, a little awkwardly. I smiled to myself as I watched her walk away, my gaze instinctively dropping to her ass. The red dress hugged it perfectly. Then I thought of Lindy and looked up and realized half the guys sitting at the bar were also watching Rach’s ass.

Dammit. I felt trapped in a dilemma tonight––devil versus deep blue sea scenario again. I wasn’t in the right mood to simply forget everything and enjoy myself. I wasn’t happy. I didn’t want to let Lindy down, but… But I didn’t think I could keep doing this anymore. Something had to break. It wasn’t working. Either I gave up and simply went home and lived the life Lindy wanted me to live, or… Or I called it all off and carried on trying to work out how I fitted in to New York.

I sighed, then remembered Rach and remembered how I’d found her, only a little less than a fortnight ago, and realized if I didn’t cheer up I was going to spoil her evening. She deserved better. She was doing her best to get on with life again, rather than run from it.

When she came out of the restroom she looked straight past the other guys watching her and right at me. Our gazes held as she walked back toward me and her smile shone in her eyes as well as on her lips. Something gripped tight in my chest, forcing me to exhale again. She was just such a gorgeous looking woman. I fancied her. No it was more than that, I was seriously into her. She was hot as hell in that dress.

Surely if I really felt anything for Lindy I shouldn’t have such urges for Rachel. I’d probably been kidding myself for years. Lindy and I probably ought to have been over long ago.

I breathed in. This night was for Rachel.

Looking away from her, I lifted my hand to call the barman over.

“Yeah, what can I get you?”

“Two more shots and two more beers.”

“Coming up.”

Rach’s fingers touched my shoulder. I felt her touch run through my insides too, and my abs tightened.

“Good boy. I see you’re learning.”

Her fingers slid off my shoulder.

I was learning, since I’d come to New York… Mostly about myself. The thing was, I didn’t particularly like what I was learning.

When the barman put the shots down, Rach said, “This time we see who can do it the fastest,” and threw me a devilish smile.

I smiled back, feeling a decision begin shifting inside me. Surely if Lindy and I weren’t right for each other it was best to have realized it now and let her down at this point rather than in five years’ time when we had kids to let down too.

I took out my wallet and paid the guy. Then we did the shots. I won. But my face screwed up as I tasted the lemon.

Looking sexy as hell, even when she sucked on a lemon, Rach’s eyebrows lifted. “And you’re a fast learner.”

“Sure am…” I could already feel the alcohol running in my blood. “Case in point…” I began telling her tales from my college days, seeing as she’d gone tight lipped again when I asked her about her usual night life in New York. I made my stories funny to make her laugh.

She did laugh.

Then when we’d finished the second beer she said, “Right, we’re off to another bar now you’ve livened up. There’s a great karaoke place I know on the edge of Chinatown. We’ll head there before we go to a club.”

Her dress rucked up when she got off the bar stool and flashed the length of her slender thighs. My stomach jolted with a sharp pang of lust. My gaze lifted to her face. Fuck, I shouldn’t be looking at her like that.

Her fingers gripped mine, which still rested on the bar, only for an instant, as though she’d misread my expression as worry over Lindy.

I appreciated her concern though. She was so much more thoughtful than the woman who was meant to love me––but I shouldn’t be slavering all over her, it wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair.

I held the door so she could leave the bar first, and she glanced back and gave me a thank you smile.

We hailed one of the dozens of yellow cabs racing past in the lit street, to get to the next place, avoiding wasted time.

When we walked into the karaoke bar the noise hit me first, then the heat and the smell of a couple of hundred sweaty people. I wasn’t used to bars like this. Rach was right; I’d needed to start in a quieter place. This was packed, it was elbowroom only, and everyone was talking and shouting at one another to be heard.

Rach headed into the mass of humanity, turning one way then the other, weaving her way toward the bar. She got a little separated from me. I saw the guy in front of me reach to grab her ass. I grabbed his wrist and held it tight.

His gray eyes spun to me and I gave him a steely smile, then said, “Fuck off.”

He grinned.

I moved past him so I was close to Rach again and rested my hand on her waist to keep myself from losing her.

She glanced back and smiled.

I bent and whispered. “That guy was going to grab you.”

She just shrugged and looked ahead again like she didn’t care.

God, if Lindy got grabbed she’d be in a steaming fit of anger all night, she’d never let a guy do that to her. She’d slap anyone who tried it.

When we got to the bar I found myself standing half to one side and half behind Rach, to shield her from the crush.

It was her turn to pay. She held out a note and looked up and down the busy bar. The girls working ignored her, but the guy clocked her in a second and turned to her even though probably at least ten people near us had been waiting longer.

“A beer and a rum and cola.”

Of course the reason I’d never been to a bar like this was probably because Lindy would’ve hated it and I’d been with Lindy since long before the legal age we could drink. Lindy’s way of doing things had been a habit of mine for a very long time.

“You’re going all guardian-angel on me again,” Rach said as she handed me my beer.

“Better that than let you get accosted by some scum.”

Her eyes looked deep into mine for a moment. Then she said in a much lower voice, “You’re way too nice, Jason.”

I was happy with nice though. “What’s wrong with nice?”

Her lips pursed for an instant. “Nothing.” Then she looked away from me, down at her drink.

Anyway, I didn’t think Lindy would think me very nice tomorrow when I called everything off between us. But that’s what I was going to do. It’s what I had to do. It was for the best in the long run.

I sipped my beer, feeling the weight of the decision rest on my shoulders. It wasn’t going to be easy to do.

Some woman started singing Beyoncé’s, Single Ladies ( Put a Ring on It ,) and I glanced up and saw her looking down from the small stage at the crowd, clearly hinting at some guy among them.

Rach gripped my forearm. “Come on, let’s get closer to the microphone, I wanna sing.” Her fingers slid lower to catch a hold of my hand as she began moving to lead the way through the crush. I gripped her long slender fingers in return, smiling again as my other hand held my beer and I watched her assertively cut us a path through the crowd of people.