Nic Tatano - It Girl

"What's that?"

"That if I get it, there's someone there I already can't trust."

***

My cell rang just as I left the station for my dinner break. I pulled it from my purse and felt my pulse quicken as I saw the name of the caller.

Scott.

"Hey there," I said. "Up past your bedtime?"

"It's Friday. I can be a night owl and stay up till eight. Might sleep in till four."

"Wow, aren't you the wild child. So, what's up?"

"I have good news and bad news."

I stopped walking and leaned against a store display window. A cute guy recognized me and smiled, so I smiled back. "Give me the bad news first."

"Let me preface this by telling you something I've never told anyone. The air duct in my private bathroom connects to Gavin's office. So I've pretty much heard everything he's said for the past two years."

"Just give me the bad news!"

I heard him exhale deeply. "They offered the job to Noelle."

My heart sank, the color drained from my face as my knees weakened. My body slid down against the glass as I went into a crouch. "Well, I can't say I'm surprised. I'm sure you'll do well with her."

"Don't you want the good news?"

"What, that I came in second and should be happy I got that far?"

"You should."

"That's your definition of good news?"

"It's a very important part of it. Because, and listen to my words very closely. She didn't take the job."

My head snapped to attention. "Wow. You're kidding!"

"Hey, I spent an hour in the can this afternoon listening to their negotiations. She wanted Katrina's salary, a five year contract, and a signing bonus. Basically a package worth a hundred and ten million."

"Holy shit!"

"They offered eight million a year for three years, no bonus. Bottom line, she got very insulted, showed her true colors and ripped Gavin a new one. Told him to go screw himself and walked out. She didn't just burn the bridge, she napalmed the damn thing. I thought Katrina was a bitch but this woman has raised it to an art form. Anyway, turns out she had another offer in her pocket from a syndicator that offered more money for her to do daytime talk without getting up in the middle of the night. I just found out she signed this afternoon."

"Scott, I'm blown away."

Long pause. "So, you want the good news?"

"There's more?"

"Do the math, kiddo. You came in second and should be happy you got that far."

My eyes widened and my adrenaline pushed me up to a standing position. "Are you saying … "

"You'll be getting a call Monday. They were busy hammering out an offer sheet late this afternoon."

I tried my best not to scream in the middle of the street, holding it in until I got home. "You know, Scott, you really buried the lead on this one. You could have just told me I got the job right up front."

"Hey, you were the one who asked for the bad news first." Slight pause. "You're going to get even with me for this, aren't you?"

“You know me too well. But I’ll let you slide on this one. Listen, thanks for everything you did to make this happen. I know you had a lot of input.”

My grandfather owned an old fashioned hardware store, and it ticked him off to no end that I enjoyed playing there as a little girl. I mean, he loved me to death and I couldn't get enough of the guy. But to Pops, hardware was a man's game, and no place for a six year old girl who should otherwise be occupied with Barbie dolls or skipping rope. To me the place was a giant metal toy store, where I could do cool stuff with magnets and leave countless colorful chalk marks on the walls using that plumb line thing. (In case you hadn't guessed by now, I'm one of those kids who colored outside the lines in grade school.)

Pops had a display in the front window in a futile attempt to scare the women away by offending them. When women's lib hit the country and skirts first appeared in his store, he took action by placing a small, bright red toolbox in the front window with a sign reading, "Woman's toolbox. Fully stocked. $19.95." Inside were two things: a can of WD-40 and a roll of duct tape. When women asked about it, he replied in this manner: "If it moves and shouldn't, duct tape. If it should move but doesn't, WD-40. If a woman has to deal with anything else, she needs to call a man."

Reporters all have virtual toolboxes. Writing ability, poise, the ability to wing it, a built-in bullshit detector and, most important in New York City, street smarts. The one tool they should give you in journalism class but don't is this thing called negotiating skills.

Because when you're dealing with broadcasting management, you've just entered the world's sleaziest car dealership and you're about to sit down with a man in a polyester suit. "So, what's it gonna take to put you behind the wheel of this morning show, little lady?"

We even have a newsroom acronym that describes the process. BOHICA.

Bend over, here it comes again.

As I headed to Gavin's office on Monday morning, I was armed with very little in the way of bargaining power. Because he has those world class carrots of The Chair and The Campaign to dangle. (I've decided the latter now deserves capital letters, like The Morning Show.) And there are a dozen other qualified women who would offer to have his children for the chance. (By the way, upper news management is predominantly filled by poster children for male-pattern ugliness who would otherwise have no shot at even being in the same zip code as a woman who looks like Noelle Larson. Power is the great equalizer in this business.)

Scott has filled me in on the specifics of Noelle's offer, complete with all the little perks they were willing to throw in. Some are standard for morning show anchors, like a limo to take you to the studio. They don't want their bleary-eyed stars scraping windshields, shoveling the driveway or getting behind the wheel half-asleep at two in the morning. Others are not, like their offer to insure Noelle's legs for one million dollars. (Should have thrown in a fifty dollar policy rider for her brain.)

Gavin's hot blonde secretary smiled and waved me into his massive corner office featuring floor-to-ceiling windows that offered a great view of Central Park. I had arrived at five minutes till nine. He got up from behind his antique oak desk which was cluttered with papers and extended his hand. "You're early. I like that."

I shook his hand. "I figured if I was late you'd give the job to someone else."

He smiled and gestured to one of the two chairs opposite his desk. "Your agent on the way?"

"Don't have one." Big smile from Gavin. Management hates dealing with agents.

"I'm surprised, but I'm not gonna complain. However, I am rather curious as to why you don't employ one for something like this."

I was glad I hadn't as I looked around the office. Half a dozen Emmy Awards sat on the wooden credenza behind his desk, while the bookshelf cubicles were filled with more award statues I didn't recognize. The walls were covered with photos featuring Gavin with various celebrities. There was a class system in television, and I wasn't in the top one yet. He was.

"Look, I could bring some shark in here to play hardball and maybe get another ten percent out of you, and then I'd have to turn around and give him ten percent of the gross instead of the net. Do the math. And I don't want to get off on the wrong foot. Besides, I'm old fashioned and think we're adult enough to make a deal in a civilized fashion without any lawyers in the room."

"Well, that's refreshing."

"I said no lawyers in the room . That doesn't mean I won't have mine look over the contract. Which I'm sure is fine."

"Fair enough. And since we're putting our cards on the table, I'll be honest. We offered the job to Noelle and she turned it down. But you were a close second anyway."