Jean Ure - Love and Kisses

“Doesn’t he find you a bit young?”

I said, “No.” I didn’t confess that I’d lied about how old I was.

Katie said, “Maybe…” She stopped.

I said, “Maybe what?”

She nibbled on a fingernail. It’s her thing that she does, like me hooking my hair behind my ears. “Maybe next time he should bring his friend with him and I could come, as well, and keep an eye on you!”

I was taken aback, to say the least. She didn’t even like his friend; she thought he was rude. And why should she think I needed an eye kept on me?

She assured me that it was perfectly all right, she wouldn’t interfere. So why did she want to come? I didn’t want her there! She might be my best friend, but just because you’re best friends doesn’t mean you have to do everything together.

“Thing is,” I said, “Marek’s already going out with someone.” Liar, liar, pants on fire! “He’s not really free to go out with anyone else.”

“I don’t want to go out with him,” said Katie, nibbling and munching as hard as she could go. “I just thought I could come along to…watch over you.”

“Honestly,” I said, “I don’t need watching over. Stop fussing!”

“I can’t help it, I feel responsible for you.” She looked at me, hurt. “Wouldn’t you feel responsible for me, if I was going out behind my mum’s back with someone who was seventeen? I hope you would, cos it’s what friends are supposed to feel. And if they don’t, then they’re not being very good friends.”

I didn’t like the thought of Katie being upset. “Look,” I said, “maybe later?”

“Later what?” she mumbled, ungraciously, as she munched on another nail.

“Maybe later you could come along.” Except who would she bring? She didn’t know anyone. A foursome might be fun, but she was right: three was definitely a crowd. In my imagination, Alex and I were already kissing and cuddling and holding hands…how would we be able to do that with Katie sitting there scowling all on her own? Maybe, after all, she and Marek could come along. He couldn’t be too bad if he were a friend of Alex. I made a note to find out whether he really did have a girlfriend or whether I’d just made it up.

Katie took her finger out of her mouth and stuffed her hand under her armpit where she couldn’t get at it. “I hope you don’t think I want to spy on you,” she said.

I said no, of course I didn’t; though that was exactly what it felt like.

“I just think it would be…safer. I mean…seventeen! That’s practically grown-up.”

That was what was so exciting about it.

“He might want to do things.” She whispered it at me, earnestly. “Things you don’t want to do.”

I said, “Then I wouldn’t do them.”

“You might not be able to help yourself! You might get carried away. People do,” said Katie. “It’s the way it happens. You don’t mean it to. It’s the heat of the moment.”

Yes, and at that particular heat of the moment, thank God, the bell rang for the end of break. I was beginning to feel quite uncomfortable with this conversation. Loftily I informed Katie that she had a mind like one of those magazines you find in the dentist.

I told Katie that it was really nice of her to come, but honestly, I knew what I was doing!

Who says dreams can’t come true? On Saturday, when we met, Alex kissed me…French style, on the cheek. Really sophisticated! Maybe it’s what Polish people do. But I bet Jimmy Doohan wouldn’t! Or any of the boys in our class. Spotty things.

I know that’s not fair. They’re not all spotty and even the ones that are can’t help it. But they were just so young. I couldn’t imagine going out with anyone so young!

After we’d drunk our coffee we went for a walk and Alex held my hand. Electric shocks went shooting up my arm and zinging round my body. His hand was warm, and a little bit rough from all the building work that he did. I didn’t mind it being rough, I was just glad it was warm. I once had to hold hands with this boy called Roger Barlow in a drama class and it felt all damp and clammy. Horrid!

We walked along by the river, and I wished someone from school could see me. Preferably Beth, cos then the whole class would get to hear of it. Or maybe Kez Daniels. Kez is so pretty, and so popular, and she’s been going out with the same boy for, like, just about ever. They are deep in love and hold hands wherever they go, even at school. Nobody laughs; it’s too serious for that. I used to envy her. Sometimes, lying in bed at night, I even used to pretend to be her. Now I didn’t need to pretend. I was deliriously happy being me!

I just wanted someone to see me…but nobody did. I don’t know what I would have done if Ellie had appeared. My hand was glued so tight I’m sure I couldn’t have pulled it away. Fortunately, walking along by the river is not Ellie’s thing. I was safe for the moment…

“It nice, no?” Alex swung my hand as we walked. “Nice by the river…you like?”

I nodded, blissfully.

“Some girl, they no like walk. They say, no car, no go!”

I assured him that I wasn’t one of them. “I love walking!”

“Me, I like too. But one day I have car. I save money, then I buy. Then we go all over! All over country. You like come with me?”

My heart almost burst. Alex dropped my hand and put his arm round me, instead. “I very safe driver. You be safe with me.”

I felt safe. Completely safe. I think I would have gone anywhere with Alex.

Every day, now, both in the morning and again in the afternoon, he would be waiting for me at the building site and we’d stop and chat. Sometimes, if no one was about, he’d put his arm around me or hold my hand. Mum couldn’t understand why I was so eager to be on time for school. Not that I have ever been one of those people who always sneaks in late, but now I was racing out of the door before I’d properly finished my toast.

“What’s with all the mad enthusiasm? Have you got a secret admirer or something?”

Ha ha. Ellie sniggered; even Dad gave a little smile. Old boffin brain Tamsin with an admirer! What a joke.

One morning as I walked past the flats Alex wasn’t there. Marek explained that he was working indoors. And then he winked and said, “Wait! I get.” Putting both hands to his mouth he bellowed at an open window: “ALEXXXXX! YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS HERE!”

It did make me a tiny bit panicky, in case any of our neighbours might be about. The couple who live next door to us, Mr and Mrs Waugh (Dad calls them the Woffs) have always seemed a bit suspicious of our family, what with Mum and Dad being actors and Dad quite often being at home all day instead of out doing a proper job. Mum and Mrs Woff quite often have long gossipy chats together, so any news would be bound to get back.

“I see Tamsin’s got herself a young man…works on the buildings.”

I was living on a knife edge! I could be found out at any moment. But when Marek called me Alex’s girlfriend, it made my stomach go all wonderfully hot and gooey. Just three short weeks ago I’d almost despaired of ever being anyone’s girlfriend. Now here was this rude boy yelling it out for all the world to hear—and suddenly I didn’t care if the Woffs were about. I didn’t care if Mum did discover Alex and me were an item!

Marek gave me this big grin and said, “He come double quick! Break his neck, he not careful.”

We both agreed that morning that we couldn’t wait until Sunday to be together. Alex suggested we go to a movie. He said there was one on locally that I would like.

“We go Friday, maybe?”

Friday was good. I could tell Mum I was staying on for choir practice then going round to Katie’s. Just so long as I was home by eight-thirty, cos if it was any later they’d want to come and pick me up.