MORE BLOOD, MORE SWEAT
and ANOTHER CUP of TEA
Tom Reynolds
More Blood, More Sweat and Another Cup of Tea is not authorized or endorsed by the London Ambulance Service. Opinions expressed in this book do not necessarily reflect those of the London Ambulance Service.
The Friday Project
An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF
www.harpercollins.co.uk
First published by The Friday Project in 2009
Copyright © Tom Reynolds 2009
Tom Reynolds asserts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
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Source ISBN: 9781906321406
Ebook Edition © MAY 2013 ISBN: 9780007332694
Version: 2016-08-08
Without my patients I would not be the person that I am today –and ultimately it is to them that this book is dedicated .
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Prologue: A Good Job
Introduction
Chapter 1 – Taxi
Chapter 2 – Leaving My Job
Chapter 3 – Zafira
Chapter 4 – NYE Night
Chapter 5 – Ten Deep Breaths
Chapter 6 – Taxi?
Chapter 7 – Chickenpox
Chapter 8 – Rough
Chapter 9 – The Black Dog Has Been Taken Outside and Shot
Chapter 10 – Complaint
Chapter 11 – Snapshots
Chapter 12 – Repeat Offender
Chapter 13 – Algesia
Chapter 14 – Back on the Car…
Chapter 15 – Wee-Wee
Chapter 16 – Swagger
Chapter 17 – Scent
Chapter 18 – Betting Shops
Chapter 19 – It Says ‘London’ on the Side
Chapter 20 – Good Job/Bad Job
Chapter 21 – Valentine’s Day
Chapter 22 – Tagged
Chapter 23 – Lost Words
Chapter 24 – Bleurgh
Chapter 25 – Free-Market Oxygen
Chapter 26 – Uniform
Chapter 27 – Abuse Your Ambulance Crew
Chapter 28 – Slow Suicide
Chapter 29 – I Wouldn’t Trust Them with My Dog
Chapter 30 – Laughing Policeman
Chapter 31 – Structural Collapse
Chapter 32 – Shorn
Chapter 33 – 12th November 2046
Chapter 34 – On the Power of Blankets
Chapter 35 – Friday Night’s All Right for Fighting
Chapter 36 – Gassed and Splinted
Chapter 37 – More Crap GP Work
Chapter 38 – Wasting the Time of a GP
Chapter 39 – Small Observation
Chapter 40 – (Another) Nan Down
Chapter 41 – More Madness in East London
Chapter 42 – Ethnic Relations
Chapter 43 – Lying to Patients
Chapter 44 – Patientside
Chapter 45 – Hit and Run
Chapter 46 – Happiness Is
Chapter 47 – Offering the Chance
Chapter 48 – Shaken Baby
Chapter 49 – On the Strange Thoughts that Assai I You at Five in the Morning
Chapter 50 – Taxi Driving
Chapter 51 – An Upsetting Job
Chapter 52 – Being Lied to
Chapter 53 – Clockwatching
Chapter 54 – Thank You Taxpayers
Chapter 55 – Helpful Demons
Chapter 56 – Absurd Council ‘Thinking’
Chapter 57 – Last Night’s ‘Off Job’
Chapter 58 – Wild Geese
Chapter 59 – Why You Should Pull Over and Let Us Pass (Or Hahahahahaha …)
Chapter 60 – Arranged
Chapter 61 – Sugar
Chapter 62 – F-off
Chapter 63 – The Standard Weekend Night
Chapter 64 – Moped Madness
Chapter 65 – Sucking Lungs
Chapter 66 – Persuasion
Chapter 67 – The Jobs We Do…
Chapter 68 – On Dealing with a Brain Surgeon
Chapter 69 – Forgetting Your History
Chapter 70 – A Warning
Chapter 71 – Bloody CPR
Chapter 72 – Stabbings and Sex Politics
Chapter 73 – New Terms
Chapter 74 – Rioting and Waiting
Chapter 75 – Not with Your Ten-Foot Barge Pole
Chapter 76 – Not All Bad
Chapter 77 – Minimalist Blogging #1
Chapter 78 – Minimalist Blogging #2
Chapter 79 – Minimalist Blogging #3
Chapter 80 – Minimalist Blogging #4
Chapter 81 – Minimalist Blogging #5
Chapter 82 – Community Care
Chapter 83 – Things that Make Me Want to Go Stabby
Chapter 84 – Why I Keep Telling My Mother that I Would Rather Wear Glasses to Work than Contact Lenses—Namely Their Protective Quality
Chapter 85 – The Usual Suspects
Chapter 86 – Maybe
Chapter 87 – Heatwave
Chapter 88 – Blue, Blue, Blue and Blue
Chapter 89 – Armed Siege
Chapter 90 – Working for Your Pay
Chapter 91 – Boating
Chapter 92 – Intermediate Tier
Chapter 93 – Double Fall
Chapter 94 – Fall-Not As Given
Chapter 95 – Faux Pas
Chapter 96 – ‘Cheating’ to Get Care
Chapter 97 – Oh FFS!
Chapter 98 – Shattered
Chapter 99 – Tilt
Chapter 100 – The Truth *
Chapter 101 – Why Your Train Yesterday May Have Been Delayed
Chapter 102 – Three Glass Stories
Chapter 103 – Hit
Chapter 104 – Allergic Reaction
Chapter 105 – After the Epilepsy Comes the Work
Chapter 106 – Snails
Chapter 107 – Mugging
Chapter 108 – Danger Bus
Chapter 109 – Dog (Or, Why I Like Animals More than Most People)
Chapter 110 – Thursday Night
Chapter 111 – Thank You West Ham
Chapter 112 – My New Plan for Hoax Calls
Chapter 113 – On TV Dramas and Documentaries
Chapter 114 – Dotty
Chapter 115 – Unknown Aggro
Chapter 116 – Church
Chapter 117 – Saviour or Service Abuser
Chapter 118 – Possession
Chapter 119 – The Humanity of the Officer of the Peace
Chapter 120 – Abandonment
Chapter 121 – Both Boxes Ticked
Chapter 122 – Cynical Minds Thinking Alike
Chapter 123 – Veil
Chapter 124 – A New Kind of Stupid
Chapter 125 – Forked
Chapter 126 – Hypo
Chapter 127 – Parklife
Chapter 128 – 9010
Chapter 129 – The Things that We Do
Chapter 130 – Helpful Passers-By
Chapter 131 – Government Targets
Chapter 132 – Hectic
Chapter 133 – Beaten
Chapter 134 – Beaten II
Chapter 135 – Inter-Service Relationships
Chapter 136 – Ghosts of the Past
Chapter 137 – Pitch Black
Chapter 138 – Google Health
Chapter 139 – Another Monday Night
Chapter 140 – Is It Wrong?
Chapter 141 – The Right Choice
Chapter 142 – The Slow Attrition of the Soul
Chapter 143 – Knee
Chapter 144 – Extended Role
Chapter 145 – The Stanford Experiment
Chapter 146 – Da Boss
Chapter 147 – Standing Back
Chapter 148 – Two in Two Nights
Chapter 149 – MHU Transfers
Chapter 150 – No Boom Today, Maybe Boom Tomorrow
Chapter 151 – A Little Good
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