Lucie Wheeler - Mums Just Wanna Have Fun

‘Hari, I chatted to some guy, I’m not about to marry him. Or even date him. This isn’t an 18-30s holiday where I am looking to hook up and get my leg over. My marriage ended a year ago!’

‘Oh come on, you’re not exactly going to let Pete back in, are you? So why not explore your options?’

‘Hari, I am here for a holiday with my boy and my friend. Nothing else.’ She leaned back onto her sun lounger and pulled her sunglasses back down over her eyes. ‘And anyway, we’re too old for an 18-30s holiday.’

‘Hey! We aren’t that old! 32 isn’t old! 30 is the new 20!’

‘Still too old.’ She giggled and made herself comfortable. Just because she wasn’t going to act on anything with Cameron – didn’t mean she couldn’t fantasize about him.

She turned her attention to Jack who was still watching videos on his iPad. She hated how much time he spent on there but equally, she knew it was a source of comfort for him so she didn’t like to take it away. She shuffled on her lounger to be closer to him, placing her hand on his forearm. He looked up at her touch, his big blue eyes wide with interest. He slid off the head phones after pausing his video and waited for her to speak.

‘You ok, little man?’ She had really struggled with his meltdown earlier in the kids’ club but that must be nothing compared to how he must’ve felt.

He nodded.

‘Are you feeling a bit better now?’ She knew he didn’t really like to talk about it afterwards, but she tried anyway. He might change his mind one day, so she always kept trying. He shrugged. ‘What’s up? You feeling sad?’ Another shrug. ‘Didn’t you want to talk to that boy? He was just trying to be your friend.’

‘I don’t like it.’

‘What?’ she frowned. ‘The boy?’ No reply. ‘He was just being friendly.’

‘I don’t like it. I don’t know … he’s … I just don’t like it.’

She smiled at him. He looked so innocent, and with the sunshine beaming down onto his light blonde hair and making him squint just a little bit, he looked younger than his seven years. She didn’t know if it was just because he was her only child and because of the upheaval over the last year, but she felt so much more protective over him. He might be seven now, but he was still her little blue-eyed baby. She missed spending time together when life hadn’t always been so stressful. They had some great times together still, but a huge part of his everyday living – especially as he grew older and the social expectation of him – seemed to cause him more angst than happiness. She tried so hard to make his life easy, but she was still learning. It would take time, she knew this, but it was a hard pill to swallow.

She decided to change tactic. ‘What are you watching?’

‘A video.’ He seemed unsure. Nancy didn’t normally ask much about his iPad and what he was up to – mostly because she didn’t want to intrude on his down time and, if she was being honest with herself, partly because she was too stressed.

‘What’s it about?’

‘Building.’

Jack loved building programmes, and she smiled as she should have guessed that’s what he would be watching. She picked up her drink and shuffled closer to him. ‘Can I watch it too?’ she asked, hoping that he didn’t reject her. But instead he just shrugged and put his headphones back on.

She sat quietly with Jack as the video played, wondering how she was going to help him get through his life. Today had exhausted her and she feared that things were only going to get worse for them if she didn’t come up with a way to help Jack handle life better. She already felt like she had exhausted every avenue available to them to find solutions, strategies and coping mechanisms, but clearly there was a lot more work to do. Where was she to start? She wasn’t sure anymore.

As she rested her hand on his little back, she smiled at the fact that she couldn’t hear anything being said on the video, but at least Jack was letting her get close to him. It was a start. And everything has to start from somewhere.

‘For crying out loud!’ Harriet slammed her phone on the counter and picked up her laptop.

‘What’s up?’ Nancy asked as she applied her make up.

They were both in Harriet’s room getting ready to go for dinner whilst the children were playing in Nancy’s room – the adjoining door left open so that they could keep an eye on them. Though children playing loosely translated to Harriet’s two playing and Jack sitting on the bed with his iPad. Standard practice now. Harriet’s two barely noticed Jack anymore.

‘Bloody work – as per frickin’ usual.’ She punched away at the keys as she logged into her laptop.

‘Was this holiday not supposed to be a break for you, Hari?’ Nancy raised her eyebrows and Harriet tried to not bite, because her stress level was currently at 98 per cent and she wasn’t about to take it out on her best friend.

‘I would love nothing more than to have a complete break from work but these idiots I employ seem to be incapable of making a decision without running it by me first!’

‘You know why that is, don’t you?’ Nancy replied as Harriet shook her head. ‘Because if it goes wrong, it’s their fault and you’ll fire them. If you take the responsibility of OK-ing something, it’s off their shoulders and onto yours.’

‘I wouldn’t fire them if it went wrong.’ Another eyebrow raise from Nancy. ‘I wouldn’t!’

‘Last year – Mr Yao?’

Shit. ‘Ok, well he deserved to be fired because his mistake was of epic proportions.’

‘And you were on your period,’ Nancy said under her breath, but Harriet heard.

She threw a pillow at her friend. ‘I was not! I am not that unprofessional!’

‘Hari, I know – I’m joking! Jeez!’

‘Sorry, I’m just a little stressed, that’s all.’ She turned her attention back to the screen and loaded up her emails and the spreadsheet for the company.

‘You are a good businesswoman – no one ever doubts that. You are the most successful woman I know and you work bloody hard for it. And it’s only because I love you that I am willing to overlook the fact that you invited me away for a girls’ holiday and have spent 90 per cent of our first two days here on your phone or on your laptop.’ Nancy didn’t move her eyes away from the mirror as she applied her mascara.

Harriet stopped and looked at her friend, a twinge of guilt settling into the pit of her stomach. ‘I know, I’m sorry. I just … need to make this work.’

‘It is working – your company won Essex Business of The Year last year after just four years of trading and you won businesswoman of the year. You’re totally smashing it, Hari; you just need to learn when to give yourself a break.’

‘Nance, if I gave myself a break, those awards wouldn’t have been mine. It’s because I work so hard that we got them.’

‘Being businesswoman of the year is great but what good is it if you don’t have friends or family around to share it with?’ The air between them because instantly tense at Nancy’s comment, which Harriet took as a reference to her husband leaving her. Andy walking out had been the biggest kick in the teeth after Harriet had spent years building up her company so she could be a valid, contributing member of the family. She’d done it for them – for all of them – but he’d never been able to see that.

‘Low blow, Nance.’

Nancy frowned but then the penny dropped. ‘Come on, don’t be over-sensitive, I didn’t mean it like that.’

‘Yes you did,’ Harriet said, punching away at her keyboard without looking at her friend for fear of her eyes betraying how much that comment hurt. And it hurt because she knew it was true.