My eyes flit across the car park. There are a couple of other cars: James’s Golf, a little red Mini and a dirty white camper van with the number plate loose. One of the waitresses is emptying a big barrel of bottles in the alley by the pub, the green glass smashing loudly. As I watch, two women come out of the restaurant area, both groaning and holding their stomachs as though they’ve eaten too much. A man with a little terrier holds the door open for them, smiling broadly. They look like mother and daughter.
My heart is beating fast through the thickness of my coat and I try to be logical, keep my gaze away from the poor bunny lying on the car. The sight of its bloodied fur makes my legs feel weak. Dominic is right – nobody knows us in Kent, nobody even knows we’re here.
Dominic has opened up the car, is looking for a plastic bag. The rabbit lies prone in front of us, its stiffening body a dark shape just in front of the windscreen. We used to have rabbits in Hampstead, two pet bunnies. Bertie and Nosie. They belonged to me and Ash.
I put my arms around Dominic, wanting his warmth and security. I don’t want to go on the walk without him. I look back at the car, at the bunny’s splayed legs, the way its skull has smashed in on itself. The poor thing wouldn’t have stood a chance.
11
Kent
Ashley
They are walking down the hill from the pub when James pulls Ashley over to one side. They lag back so that the group edge in front of them, Mathilde pushing the pram. Corinne and Dom are still by the pub; Ashley doesn’t know what is taking them so long. James grabs her sleeve and says he’s got to talk to her. Now.
‘Well all right,’ she says, in a joking sort of voice because the Merlot has gone to her head a bit and she’s just happy that he’s here, and they are all together, the five of them; she isn’t on her own, watching TV and waiting for the silent phone to ring.
Ashley tucks her hand inside the pocket of James’s jacket to join his own and puts her face close to his like a mock detective. Perhaps if she pretends as though everything is OK it really will be.
‘What’s up, mister?’ The look on his face is very serious and suddenly she feels a tiny bit sick. She pushes her tongue over her teeth, hoping they’re not stained from the red wine. Her heart begins to thud. Is he going to tell her? Is he going to tell her there’s another woman? Not now. Surely he wouldn’t do it here, in front of the children. Would he?
‘Did you give Corinne and Dominic money?’
There is a pause. Ashley blinks.
‘Well, yes, I lent her money for their final round of IVF. You know they’d run out. I told you, and I wanted to help. Sorry, I should have mentioned it but you’ve been so busy and I didn’t think you’d mind. You don’t, do you?’
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