John Scally - Great Sporting Wisdom - Legendary Quotes from the World of Sport

Copyright Copyright Dedication Introduction The Good, The Glad and The Wordy Chapter One: Athletic Aberrations Chapter Two: Baseball Bloomers Chapter Three: Basketball Babel Chapter Four: Board and Card Games Chapter Five: Boxing Barbs Chapter Six: Pedal to the Metal Chapter Seven: Cricket Classics Chapter Eight: Football’s Fun and Frolics Chapter Nine: Golfing Gems Chapter Ten: Horse Racing Hoots Chapter Eleven: Ruck and Roll Chapter Twelve: Snooker from the Lip Chapter Thirteen: Tennis Theatricals Chapter Fourteen: Sporting Miscellany Great Sporting Supermouths of our Time Chapter Fifteen: Walker the Talker Chapter Sixteen: The Lowe-Down Chapter Seventeen: On the Great Vine Chapter Eighteen: The Golden Foot in Mouth Award Acknowledgements About the Publisher

Harper Non-Fiction

An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF

www.harpercollins.co.uk

First published in 1996 by CollinsWillow

Copyright © John Scally 1996

John Scally accepts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

HarperCollins Publishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication.

Source ISBN: 9780002187336

Ebook Edition © JUNE 2016 ISBN: 9780008193263

Version: 2016-06-20

Dedication Dedication Introduction The Good, The Glad and The Wordy Chapter One: Athletic Aberrations Chapter Two: Baseball Bloomers Chapter Three: Basketball Babel Chapter Four: Board and Card Games Chapter Five: Boxing Barbs Chapter Six: Pedal to the Metal Chapter Seven: Cricket Classics Chapter Eight: Football’s Fun and Frolics Chapter Nine: Golfing Gems Chapter Ten: Horse Racing Hoots Chapter Eleven: Ruck and Roll Chapter Twelve: Snooker from the Lip Chapter Thirteen: Tennis Theatricals Chapter Fourteen: Sporting Miscellany Great Sporting Supermouths of our Time Chapter Fifteen: Walker the Talker Chapter Sixteen: The Lowe-Down Chapter Seventeen: On the Great Vine Chapter Eighteen: The Golden Foot in Mouth Award Acknowledgements About the Publisher

To Sheila, Aine, James,

Liam and Fiona Finneran

Contents

Cover

Title Page

Copyright Copyright Copyright Dedication Introduction The Good, The Glad and The Wordy Chapter One: Athletic Aberrations Chapter Two: Baseball Bloomers Chapter Three: Basketball Babel Chapter Four: Board and Card Games Chapter Five: Boxing Barbs Chapter Six: Pedal to the Metal Chapter Seven: Cricket Classics Chapter Eight: Football’s Fun and Frolics Chapter Nine: Golfing Gems Chapter Ten: Horse Racing Hoots Chapter Eleven: Ruck and Roll Chapter Twelve: Snooker from the Lip Chapter Thirteen: Tennis Theatricals Chapter Fourteen: Sporting Miscellany Great Sporting Supermouths of our Time Chapter Fifteen: Walker the Talker Chapter Sixteen: The Lowe-Down Chapter Seventeen: On the Great Vine Chapter Eighteen: The Golden Foot in Mouth Award Acknowledgements About the Publisher Harper Non-Fiction An imprint of HarperCollins Publishers 1 London Bridge Street London SE1 9GF www.harpercollins.co.uk First published in 1996 by CollinsWillow Copyright © John Scally 1996 John Scally accepts the moral right to be identified as the author of this work A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books. HarperCollins Publishers has made every reasonable effort to ensure that any picture content and written content in this ebook has been included or removed in accordance with the contractual and technological constraints in operation at the time of publication. Source ISBN: 9780002187336 Ebook Edition © JUNE 2016 ISBN: 9780008193263 Version: 2016-06-20

Dedication Dedication Dedication Introduction The Good, The Glad and The Wordy Chapter One: Athletic Aberrations Chapter Two: Baseball Bloomers Chapter Three: Basketball Babel Chapter Four: Board and Card Games Chapter Five: Boxing Barbs Chapter Six: Pedal to the Metal Chapter Seven: Cricket Classics Chapter Eight: Football’s Fun and Frolics Chapter Nine: Golfing Gems Chapter Ten: Horse Racing Hoots Chapter Eleven: Ruck and Roll Chapter Twelve: Snooker from the Lip Chapter Thirteen: Tennis Theatricals Chapter Fourteen: Sporting Miscellany Great Sporting Supermouths of our Time Chapter Fifteen: Walker the Talker Chapter Sixteen: The Lowe-Down Chapter Seventeen: On the Great Vine Chapter Eighteen: The Golden Foot in Mouth Award Acknowledgements About the Publisher To Sheila, Aine, James, Liam and Fiona Finneran

Introduction

The Good, The Glad and The Wordy

Chapter One: Athletic Aberrations

Chapter Two: Baseball Bloomers

Chapter Three: Basketball Babel

Chapter Four: Board and Card Games

Chapter Five: Boxing Barbs

Chapter Six: Pedal to the Metal

Chapter Seven: Cricket Classics

Chapter Eight: Football’s Fun and Frolics

Chapter Nine: Golfing Gems

Chapter Ten: Horse Racing Hoots

Chapter Eleven: Ruck and Roll

Chapter Twelve: Snooker from the Lip

Chapter Thirteen: Tennis Theatricals

Chapter Fourteen: Sporting Miscellany

Great Sporting Supermouths of our Time

Chapter Fifteen: Walker the Talker

Chapter Sixteen: The Lowe-Down

Chapter Seventeen: On the Great Vine

Chapter Eighteen: The Golden Foot in Mouth Award

Acknowledgements

About the Publisher

Introduction

In 1906 Ambrose Bierce defined quotation as ‘the act of repeating erroneously the words of another. The words erroneously repeated.’ Down through history much has been said and written about the people and events that have shaped the sporting world. This book assembles some of the most commonly misquoted and misattributed of those sporting quotations.

Humour is a difficult thing to define. What reduces one person to helpless laughter may leave another indifferent. And what makes a funny quote? The context can be crucial.

In normal circumstances the following would not be of great interest: ‘Sharp are currently working on bringing 3D TV into your living-rooms. Mr Koshima hopes it will be so realistic that viewers will have to duck when Eric Cantona takes a shot.’

However, what makes this press release from Manchester United’s sponsors such a gem is that it was issued just before Cantona’s flying kick at a Crystal Palace fan. Of course, Cantona has carved a special niche for himself in this field with the immortal ‘When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.’ No doubt this remark will be the subject of PhD theses in years to come in such disparate disciplines as philosophy, Anglo-French literature and sporting psychology.