Chuck Gonzales - 100 Of The Best Curses and Insults In Spanish - A Toolkit for the Testy Tourist

COPYRIGHT Copyright Dedication Learn How to Give ’em Hell Like a Native! Pronouncing Spanish Situation #1: Empanada Bandidos Situation #2: Revenge of the Yanquis Situation #3: Cerveza Goggles Situation #4: Is that a Fertilized Egg in There or are You Just Overweight? Situation #5: Battle of the Bulge Situation #6: The Sun also Presses the Snooze Button Situation #7: Two Left Feet Situation #8: Urban Sombrero Situation #9: Ashes to Asses Situation #10: Running of the Bullies Situation #11: Fútbol Follies Situation #12: Ancient Truths Situation #13: The Rain in Spain Situation #14: In Vino Veritas Situation #15: Vista Conquistador Situation #16: Dropping the Eavesdropper! Situation #17: Not so Jolly Giant Situation #18: Thou Shall not Mooch Situation #19: Aircraft Guitar Situation #20: Sangría Wars Situation #21: Someone in Portugal can’t Hear You Situation #22: Planeta of the Apes Situation #23: “Are we Having Fun Yet?” Situation #24: Siestas for the Rest of Us Situation #25: Logorrhea Situation #26: Don Juan Wannabe Situation #27: El Rastro Rascal Situation #28: Nevermind the Bollocks Situation #29: Mira, Mira on the Wall … Situation #30: Real Hombres Eat Meat Situation #31: Getting Soaked Without a Drop to Drink Situation #32: Radio Daze Situation #33: Got Agua? Situation #34: Empire Strikes Back Situation #35: Chili Reception Situation #36: There Goes the Sun Situation #37: Loco Flamenco Situation #38: An Excruciating Epiphany Situation #39: Frost in Translation Situation #40: Hit the Road, Jacinto! Situation #41: The Barefoot Contessa Situation #42: Sea Dreams Situation #43: Matador Brats Situation #44: The Artful Dodger Situation #45: Fresh Fruit About the Publisher

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First published by HarperCollins Publishers 2009

Copyright © 2009 Rachel Perez

Illustrations by Chuck Gonzales

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Source ISBN: 9780007851485

Ebook Edition © APRIL 2017 ISBN: 9780007483471

Version: 2017-05-02

DEDICATION Dedication Learn How to Give ’em Hell Like a Native! Pronouncing Spanish Situation #1: Empanada Bandidos Situation #2: Revenge of the Yanquis Situation #3: Cerveza Goggles Situation #4: Is that a Fertilized Egg in There or are You Just Overweight? Situation #5: Battle of the Bulge Situation #6: The Sun also Presses the Snooze Button Situation #7: Two Left Feet Situation #8: Urban Sombrero Situation #9: Ashes to Asses Situation #10: Running of the Bullies Situation #11: Fútbol Follies Situation #12: Ancient Truths Situation #13: The Rain in Spain Situation #14: In Vino Veritas Situation #15: Vista Conquistador Situation #16: Dropping the Eavesdropper! Situation #17: Not so Jolly Giant Situation #18: Thou Shall not Mooch Situation #19: Aircraft Guitar Situation #20: Sangría Wars Situation #21: Someone in Portugal can’t Hear You Situation #22: Planeta of the Apes Situation #23: “Are we Having Fun Yet?” Situation #24: Siestas for the Rest of Us Situation #25: Logorrhea Situation #26: Don Juan Wannabe Situation #27: El Rastro Rascal Situation #28: Nevermind the Bollocks Situation #29: Mira, Mira on the Wall … Situation #30: Real Hombres Eat Meat Situation #31: Getting Soaked Without a Drop to Drink Situation #32: Radio Daze Situation #33: Got Agua? Situation #34: Empire Strikes Back Situation #35: Chili Reception Situation #36: There Goes the Sun Situation #37: Loco Flamenco Situation #38: An Excruciating Epiphany Situation #39: Frost in Translation Situation #40: Hit the Road, Jacinto! Situation #41: The Barefoot Contessa Situation #42: Sea Dreams Situation #43: Matador Brats Situation #44: The Artful Dodger Situation #45: Fresh Fruit About the Publisher

To Margaret

Thank you Jeannine for great revisions and suggestions and irritating people

the world over for inspiring the scenarios. Also special thanks to Eva Martinez, Antonio

Martinez, Tesi Villanueva, Neil Dowden, and Silke Braun for all their work on the book.

CONTENTS

Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Learn How to Give ’em Hell Like a Native!

Pronouncing Spanish

Situation #1: Empanada Bandidos

Situation #2: Revenge of the Yanquis

Situation #3: Cerveza Goggles

Situation #4: Is that a Fertilized Egg in There or are You Just Overweight?

Situation #5: Battle of the Bulge

Situation #6: The Sun also Presses the Snooze Button

Situation #7: Two Left Feet

Situation #8: Urban Sombrero

Situation #9: Ashes to Asses

Situation #10: Running of the Bullies

Situation #11: Fútbol Follies

Situation #12: Ancient Truths

Situation #13: The Rain in Spain

Situation #14: In Vino Veritas

Situation #15: Vista Conquistador

Situation #16: Dropping the Eavesdropper!

Situation #17: Not so Jolly Giant

Situation #18: Thou Shall not Mooch

Situation #19: Aircraft Guitar

Situation #20: Sangría Wars

Situation #21: Someone in Portugal can’t Hear You

Situation #22: Planeta of the Apes

Situation #23: “Are we Having Fun Yet?”

Situation #24: Siestas for the Rest of Us

Situation #25: Logorrhea

Situation #26: Don Juan Wannabe

Situation #27: El Rastro Rascal

Situation #28: Nevermind the Bollocks

Situation #29: Mira, Mira on the Wall …

Situation #30: Real Hombres Eat Meat

Situation #31: Getting Soaked Without a Drop to Drink

Situation #32: Radio Daze

Situation #33: Got Agua?

Situation #34: Empire Strikes Back

Situation #35: Chili Reception

Situation #36: There Goes the Sun

Situation #37: Loco Flamenco

Situation #38: An Excruciating Epiphany

Situation #39: Frost in Translation

Situation #40: Hit the Road, Jacinto!

Situation #41: The Barefoot Contessa

Situation #42: Sea Dreams

Situation #43: Matador Brats

Situation #44: The Artful Dodger

Situation #45: Fresh Fruit

About the Publisher

LEARN HOW TO GIVE ’EM HELL LIKE A NATIVE!

If you don’t have anything nice to say, then say it! There are heaps of great put-downs, clever comebacks, unflattering analogies, and other unpleasantries to choose from, especially in Spanish! But wait a minute. With the beautiful beaches, great wine, enchanting music, laid-back companions, and all-night revelry, what could possibly go wrong? Well, you could be stomped on by a flamenco dancer, for one, bullied on the day of a bullfight, stabbed with toothpicks in a tapas frenzy, or even be mistaken for a piñata. What if some little rascals get their hands on your empanadas or your perfect view of el mar gets blocked by body parts that should never have seen the light of day?