Sorrel Anderson - The Clumsies Make a Mess of the Zoo

‘Yes, Mickey Thompson?’ said Howard.

‘CRISP FACTORY,’ shoutedMickey Thompson.

‘Too… What do you mean, crisp factory ?’ said Howard.

‘They conduct guided tours, and provide free samples. It says so, here,’ said Mickey Thompson, j a b b i n g the back of his crisp packet.

‘No,’ said Howard.

‘But, Howard,’ said Mickey Thompson.

‘No crisp factories,’ said Howard.

Mickey Thompson sighed, and ate another crisp, dejectedly.

‘I wonder what Ortrud would like to do,’ said Purvis. Everyone looked at Ortrud, as she started on another circuit of the room.

‘It’s difficult to tell,’ said Howard.

‘If only we could speak elephant,’ said Mickey Thompson.

‘THAT’S IT!’shouted Purvis, leaping up. ‘I’VE GOT IT!’

He shot under the desk and shot back out again clutching a green leaflet, decorated all over with pictures of happy-looking animals. ‘This is where we should go,’ he said, flapping it.

‘The !’

‘T O O T !’

trumpeted Ortrud.

‘HURRAY!’ cheered Mickey Thompson.

‘Too many animals,’ said Howard.

The mice gasped, and Ortrud skidded to a halt.

‘But you like animals, Howard,’ said Purvis.

‘Yes, Howard,’ said Mickey Thompson. ‘Animals are lovely.’ He batted his eyelashes at Howard, energetically.

‘One can go off a thing, you know,’ said Howard.

‘But, Howard,’ said Purvis, looking a little upset.

‘Oh, go on then,’ said Howard. ‘The it is.’

‘TOOT!’

trumpeted Ortrud,

‘HURRAY!’ cheered Mickey Thompson.

‘There’ll be other elephants there, you see,’ explained Purvis. ‘I was thinking it might be good for Ortrud to meet them.’

‘It certainly can’t do any harm,’ agreed Howard.

‘Off we go, then,’ said Mickey Thompson, rushing towards the door.

‘Wait!’ said Purvis.

‘What?’ said Mickey Thompson.

‘We need to prepare,’ said Purvis.

‘Eh?’ said Mickey Thompson.

‘For the outing,’ said Purvis.

‘He’s right,’ said Howard, putting

‘There’s no sense in rushing these things. How long do we need?’

‘Around fifteen minutes should do it,’ said Purvis. ‘Certainly no more than twenty.’

‘Perfect,’ said Howard. ‘We’ll set off in twenty minutes.’

So everyone BUSTLED about preparing for the outing.

to keep him going, he said. Mickey Thompson put on a pith helmet and ate some more crisps. Purvis found a rucksack and zipped the leaflet into it. And Ortrud completed seven circuits of the room, C R A S H E D into a chair and flomped down in the middle of the floor, panting heavily.

‘Oh dear,’ said Purvis.

‘Nervous Exhaustion’ said Mickey Thompson, sounding knowledgeable.

‘I wouldn’t be at all surprised,’ said Howard.

‘Ortrud, hup!’ coaxed Mickey Thompson. ‘Hup!’

‘She won’t budge,’ said Purvis.

‘Can you carry her, Howard?’

‘If I must,’ sighed Howard, hoisting her up. Ortud trumpeted, complainingly, and went floppy.

‘She’s heavy,’ puffedHoward.

‘We’ll stop from time to time, for rests,’ said Purvis.

‘And conspicuous,’ grumbled Howard.

‘I don’t want to attract attention.’

‘Why’s that then?’ asked Mickey Thompson.

‘Because strictly speaking I should be working hard at my desk,’ said Howard, ‘not visiting s.’

‘I see,’ said Purvis.

Mickey Thompson pointed at Howard’s mac, t an gl ed in the coat-stand.

‘That old mac,’ he said. ‘We can use it.’

‘My smart mac,’ corrected Howard. ‘How?’

‘As a disguise,’ said Mickey Thompson. ‘If we drape it over Ortrud, it’ll look like you’re just carrying a bundle of any old something or other. No one will pay any attention at all.’

‘A trumpeting, elephant-shaped bundle of any old something or other,’ grumbled Howard, as he helped the mice drape the mac over Ortrud.

‘There,’ said Purvis.

‘That looks almost completely inconspicuous.’

‘Tremendous,’said Howard, heading towards the door.

‘Now let’s get going.’

‘Wait!’ said Purvis.

‘What?’ said Howard.

‘Take your jacket off,’ said Purvis.

‘Certainly not,’ said Howard. ‘I’ve already given up my mac, and it’s starting to rain.’

‘I know,’ said Purvis.

‘Well, then,’ said Howard.

‘But listen,’ said Purvis. ‘Just imagine.’

‘What am I supposed to be imagining?’ said Howard.

‘Just imagine,’ said Purvis, dramatically, ‘someone comes into this room.’

‘Your point being?’ said Howard.

‘You’re supposed to be here, but you’ve GONE, ’ said Purvis. ‘To the ! Word gets back to Mr Bullerton, on his sick-bed, and it tips him over the edge, and he takes a turn for the worse and YOU are in BIG TROUBLE.’

‘Hmm,’ said Howard.

‘How would they know about the ?’ asked Mickey Thompson.

‘It doesn’t matter about the as such,’ said Purvis. ‘The point is, he’s not here.’

‘You said they knew about the ,’ said Mickey Thompson, and there was a small scuffle.

‘Stop that,’ said Howard.

‘So anyway,’ continued Purvis, ‘if we hang your jacket on the back of your chair, people will assume you’re still somewhere here in the building.’

‘Why will they?’ asked Mickey Thompson.

‘Because it’s pouring with rain,’ said Purvis.

‘“He can’t be far away from his hardworking desk,” is what they’ll think. “Only a fool would go out in this without a jacket on.” ’

‘Exactly,’ said Howard. ‘What do you take me for?’

‘But, Howard,’ said Purvis. ‘You don’t want to risk getting into trouble, do you? This way, you’re covered.’

‘Yes, in water,’ muttered Howard, as he took his jacket off and hung it over the back of the chair.

‘There,’ he said. ‘Happy now?’

‘I’m not sure,’ said Purvis. He studied the jacket, worriedly.

‘Do you think it’ll be enough?’

‘We could plump it out a bit,’ suggested Mickey Thompson.