Aimee Carter - Goddess of the Underworld

But it was. I couldn’t explain it to her—I couldn’t even explain it to myself—but in that moment, I would’ve rather faded for eternity than go back to the Underworld with Hades. I didn’t belong there. We didn’t belong together, and it was all a mistake—a stupid mistake that Mother could fix.

“Please,” I gasped between sobs. “Don’t make me go back there.”

Her arms tightened around me. “What happened? Darling, if you don’t tell me, I can’t help you.”

I opened my mouth to try to find the words, but before I could say a single one—

“Persephone?”

I looked up, my lower lip trembling. “Father?”

Zeus stepped into the room, his brow knit and mouth turned downward. Father or not, I’d never spent much time with him beyond what little bonding assuaged his guilt. But I would’ve taken his awkward hugs and nasty temper a thousand times over before I went back to Hades.

“Persephone, your husband is waiting for you in the throne room,” he admonished. “He’s quite worried.”

I sniffed, refusing to lessen my grip on Mother. “I can’t go back there. I can’t breathe. ”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re a goddess. You don’t need to breathe,” said Zeus. “Now, explain to me what this tantrum of yours is all about.”

“Zeus,” said Mother in a warning tone, but he didn’t budge. He stared at me, his blue eyes stormy and his arms crossed over his broad chest. I’d never been afraid of him before, but tension crackled in the air sure as lightning. One wrong word, and daughter or not, he’d treat me like a traitor.

“I can’t—” I hiccupped. “The rock’s too heavy, and—Hades, we—” My face grew hot. “Please don’t make me go back.”

“You have no choice in the matter,” said Zeus. “You are Queen of the Underworld now, and that is not a crown you can give up.”

“I don’t care, just—please. I’ll do anything,” I begged. “I can’t go back.”

Mother sighed. “You’ve been there all of one night. Things will get easier. I know it’s a change from Olympus—”

“Have you ever spent the night down there?” I said, and she hesitated.

“No, but—”

“I can’t, Mother. Please. ”

She frowned and shared a look with Zeus. “Your father’s right. You’re Queen, and like it or not, that is not a role you can relinquish. Regardless of your marriage, Hades needs your help ruling, and you’ve already made a commitment. You cannot back out of it no matter how different it is from your expectations.”

My entire body felt as if it had turned to stone. I’d expected opposition from Zeus, of course. He was never agreeable about anything. But my own mother …

“You don’t understand.” I pulled away and stood on trembling legs. “It’s not natural down there. It’s—cold and dark and twisted, and I can’t breathe— ”

“Again with the breathing,” said Zeus, and Mother shushed him.

“—and I don’t love him, Mother. I can’t spend my life down there.”

“Love?” Her confused expression morphed into a sympathetic one, and humiliation coursed through me. I didn’t want her pity. I wanted her understanding. “Persephone, love has very little to do with it. Hades loves you, of course, but your love for him won’t come immediately. You must give it time.”

“But how can I love something completely unlovable?” My voice broke, and I wiped my cheeks angrily.

“You can, and eventually you will. In many ways, Hades is the most loving of us all,” said Mother. “Do not be fooled by his dark kingdom. There is beauty in it, and despite a difficult night, things will get easier. Happiness is a choice—”

“And I choose not to be.” The words came out as a broken sob. “You’re going to do this to me? You’re going to damn your only daughter to a life down there with him?”

Mother faltered. “Sweetheart, please. Tell me what brought this on.”

But I couldn’t. I didn’t know what specific thing was behind the wall of hatred and anger inside me. I didn’t know what made me want to run, but that didn’t make it any less real. “He just—” I shook my head. “It isn’t right.”

“Take it one step at a time,” said Mother in what she must’ve meant to be a soothing voice, but it made me shudder. “If you didn’t enjoy consummating your marriage, that’s natural. The first time is almost never—”

“It isn’t about that.”

“Then what is it about?” She reached for me, but I stepped back. My entire body trembled so badly that I had to struggle to stay upright. It was as if I was fighting an invisible force just by being in the room, and I didn’t know how to stop it.

“I just—I don’t belong there. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

Mother and Zeus exchanged another look, and Zeus cleared his throat. “You will return to the Underworld with Hades, and you will obey him as you would obey me. He is your husband now, and you will not dishonor me by evading your duties. Do you understand?”

My eyes watered until I couldn’t make out his features. But I knew that voice—it was the voice of a king, the one he used when we had absolutely no choice. The voice he’d used to tell me I’d be marrying Hades on my sixteenth birthday no matter how I felt about it.

I couldn’t respond. Every time I opened my mouth, that wall of hatred and resentment was there, and finally I dashed past him and fled the room. I couldn’t do this no matter how often he threatened me, and the fact that he and Mother refused to so much as consider my feelings—it wasn’t fair. I needed to get away from that unyielding revulsion. I needed to get away from my life.

As I ran down the hallway, I nearly barreled headfirst into Hera. Had she been there the entire time? Our eyes locked, and she opened her mouth to say something, but I regained my footing and rushed past her. I didn’t care if she’d overheard. I didn’t care if she empathized with being trapped in a loveless marriage. There was nothing she could possibly say or do to change my parents’ minds, and I didn’t need pity. I needed an escape.

At last I made it to the throne room. A few feet from the portal, Hades waited with Hermes, who wore a bewildered expression. As I stumbled onto the crystal circle, Hades moved to join me, but Hermes darted in front of him, blocking his way. Whatever his reason was, I didn’t have time to find out. I dropped from Olympus, the wind rushing through my hair and whipping it across my face.

Freedom. And free-falling, apparently. I’d never used a portal by myself, and I opened my mouth in a silent scream. So maybe not waiting for Hades hadn’t been the best idea, but I would’ve rather plummeted to earth than let him join me.

I expected a crash landing, the sort that would leave an indentation in the ground for curious mortals to ponder, but as my feet touched the earth, I stopped. No hard landing. No real impact. I didn’t even leave footprints on the grass.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I ran my fingers through my tangled hair and looked around. I stood in a meadow full of purple flowers that danced in the breeze, and it was warm despite the late hour of wherever it was I’d landed. A beautiful summer evening.

Why couldn’t Hades live on the surface? Why did he have to be near his subjects at all times? Zeus certainly wasn’t. I sat down heavily in the middle of the field, passing my hand through the tall grass. This was my home, surrounded by warmth and nature and life. Not encased in stone.

The wind picked up for a moment, and something rustled behind me. Hades, no doubt, coming to reclaim me and drag me back to that dark place. I refused to turn around. He couldn’t have me, not anymore.