Kiersten White - Supernaturally

“If you’re going to lie you really ought to get better at it.” She lay back on the grass to stare at the sky. “So, you’re sad. What’s the problem?”

Sighing heavily, I lay back, too. “I don’t know. I’ve finally got the life I wanted for so long. And it’s great, really, and Lend—”

“I like hearing about him.”

“I like talking about him. And he’s wonderful. But I haven’t … I still haven’t told him.”

“Yeah, I figured. You’re not really good with the honesty thing.”

“You’re one to talk!”

“Hey, I was always honest about what I was doing.” She flashed a wicked grin, reminding me that she wasn’t as innocent as I liked to pretend. “But that’s not what this new crying fit is about, because you’ve known about Lend’s immortal soul for a while now.”

I shifted uncomfortably. “Reth visited tonight.”

“Really? Wish he’d visit me….”

“Vivian!”

“What? A girl gets lonely in a coma, and faerie or not, he’s pretty.” I wasn’t sure if she wanted him to mess around with or to suck dry—and equally unsure which option creeped me out more. “Go on, though.”

“I don’t know. He implied that I’m not really happy with the life I chose.” I hated how he always seemed to see straight through me. If he didn’t have to deal with squirmy, unpredictable mortal emotions, why did he have to be so good at reading them?

“Well, are you happy?”

“Yes! I am! Of course I am. It’s what I always wanted.”

“But …”

“Nothing. It’s stupid.”

“Well, duh. You, my darling sister, are stupid about a lot of things.”

I glared at her. “Gosh, tender much?”

She shrugged. “Like I said, I’m honest. Go on. It’s what you always wanted, and?”

“And it’s not, you know? Lend’s gone so much, and even when he’s here I can’t help but worry that this isn’t the life he’ll choose when he finds out that he’s like his mom. And then Raquel showed up this week, which reminded me of how things used to be. They weren’t great, but I kind of miss …” I thought about what my life had been like at IPCA, how much I had dreamed of being normal, of this life I had now. What was it that I missed? It wasn’t the missions, the restrictions, the lifestyle.

It was mattering.

“I miss being special. With IPCA, I was special. They needed me. And in the real world, I’m … not.” Tears started streaming again and I wiped them away, embarrassed. “I’m sorry. How lame am I, whining my whole life about being different, and then hating being the same as everyone else.”

Viv pushed up onto her elbows, frowning at me. “But you’re not. You’ve never been the same. So I don’t get it—you haven’t changed. What’s the problem here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Get over it then. Do something.”

“What?”

She waved a hand dismissively. “Whatever you freaking want to. That’s the glory of being you, Evie. You’ve got a choice. I wouldn’t recommend going on a massive paranormal killing spree, though. It didn’t turn out so hot for me.”

I let out a strangled laugh. “You’re terrible.”

“Tell me about it.”

We were quiet then, both lost in our problems. Finally, Vivian took my hand in her even colder one again, pulling me up to sit next to her. “Well, enough with this pity party. If I’ve been gone for a while, there are important things we need to talk about.”

“What’s that?”

“Umm, hello? You need to catch me up on Easton Heights. I didn’t listen to a rundown of the first three seasons for you to leave me hanging now.”

I laughed. “Important, huh? Fine.” And I shared what little I could of the outside world, here in my dark dream-world where Vivian and I met.

Sometimes it felt more real than anything else.

When I woke up in the morning my hand was still curled like I was holding Vivian’s. I sighed. Viv nights always left me with the weirdest combination of well-being and regret. And then, of course, guilt over being friends with the girl who murdered my Lish, but Lish would understand. I hoped.

The faeries who raised Vivian never let her think she had any choices. She always felt like her life had been determined for her. I think she realized it wasn’t, now that it was too late. It made me wonder if I had connected with her sooner, if I could have stopped it all.

It was enough to make a person crazy, thinking about it.

In the end Vivian had made her choices and paid for them. Thanks to the faeries, she was out of options. But I wasn’t. I would make this life what I wanted it to be. Screw Reth—I’d be happy. I was going to have my cake and eat it, too.

Or rather, be normal and have my paranormal, too. I was special; why pretend otherwise? I needed to email Raquel. I was about to make her day.

up.” I laughed, closing my locker.

“No, really,” Lend continued. “Dead serious. Dude’s a leprechaun.”

“Your technical writing professor is not a leprechaun.”

“How do you know? This is why you need to ditch next week and come to class with me. You can confirm. Right now all I know is that he has red hair, red skin, is about four feet tall, and wears nothing but green.”

I rolled my eyes, knowing he couldn’t see it through my shiny, pink cell phone. “And why would a leprechaun have a PhD?”

“I don’t know. Hanging out at the bottom of rainbows got boring, he was tired of clovers, pots of gold lost their sparkle for him—take your pick. But I’m right. In fact, did I tell you that my lab assistant may or may not be a dryad?”

“Wait—aren’t they notoriously lusty?”

There was a pause at the other end of the line.

“Oh, you are not going to that lab again.”

Lend laughed and I closed my eyes, picturing how he would look in front of me. “Trust me, there’s only one paranormal I’d like to be notoriously lusty for me.”

I sighed. “Okay, but I don’t think I can find a hag on such short notice.”

He laughed again, almost covering the sound of the bell. I looked around, panicked. A stray paper drifted across the now forsaken hallways.

“Crap, I’m gonna be late! I’ll talk to you later, okay?” Flipping my phone shut, I ran for the locker room. At least it was gym and there was a little wiggle room.

Or so I thought. Miss Lynn, that hideous creature, was waiting outside the door, marking off girls as they came in. She looked up and smiled, pleased to have caught me in an obvious infraction. “That’s half your participation points for the day, Green. Another tardy and I believe you’ll qualify for in-school suspension.”

Where was Tasey when I needed her? It took all my willpower to suppress an eye roll as I skulked into the locker room. The faint aroma of sweat and mildew greeted me, and I passed girls in various states of undress to get to my locker. I wasn’t nearly as fond of this one.

Carlee pulled on her tennis shoes, already good to go. Honestly, how her boobs could be so perky in a sports bra I’d never understand. Or stop envying.

She shook her head. “You should be more careful. Miss Lynn really doesn’t like you.”

I sighed, pulling out my gym clothes. What school chooses yellow and brown for their colors? Gross. Just, gross. “The feeling’s mutual.”

“So how was your weekend?”

“Sucktastic. Lend had to go back to school.”