Kiersten White - Endlessly

“You,” Lend whispered, then looked at Reth. Something unspoken passed between them. “Keep her safe,” Lend said fiercely.

Reth nodded. “Always.”

Lend leaned forward and smashed his lips into mine, kissing me desperately, then pulled away. “I love you,” he said, his glamour melting off so it was him, just him for a heartbeat, and I got ready to stand and be lost forever. Then he replaced his water self with: Me.

“No!” I screamed, but Reth wrapped his arms around me and traced one finger down my throat, freezing my voice.

I screamed and screamed, ripping my throat to shreds but no sound came out. Lend-as-me stood up, lifting both hands in the air.

“I’m coming,” my voice said. “Stop.”

He walked out from behind the counter and I couldn’t see him and she’d kill him and I’d lose him forever and I couldn’t live in a world where he wasn’t.

I kicked against the counter as hard as I could, trying to force Reth to let me go, but his arms weren’t flesh, they were permanent, there was no give. I slammed my head back into his chest again and again, but then I felt more than heard her faerie door closing as the air thinned again and I knew it was over and my world had been destroyed.

Lend was gone, and it was my fault.

I slammed my head against Reth again in rage; he pulled me closer and said, in a voice tender and sad, “Sleep.”

And then it was black.

Shh, shh,” Vivian said, cradling me and stroking my hair in our dark, star-filled dreamscape. “Where have you been? I’ve been feeling strange lately; I wanted to tell you. But what’s wrong? What happened?”

“Lend. She took Lend. The Dark Queen took him, and I’ll never get him back again. It’s over. Everything.”

Her hand stopped, even her breathing stopped. “She—she came out of the Faerie Realms?”

I nodded, sobbing so hard my stomach hurt.

“It’s … she’s never done that before, Evie. Ever. Something must be happening, something big. Things must be changing.”

“They want to leave. The elementals and everyone, they’re working with the Seelie faeries. They asked me to make a gate. It doesn’t matter now, nothing matters now. Maybe I should make them a gate so I can burn myself into oblivion.”

“Don’t say that! Don’t you ever say that. Your soul is worth more than any of them can ever understand.” She pushed back and took my face in her hands to glare into my eyes. “You hear me?”

I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Don’t be stupid, Evie. It always matters. Now, listen: Did she kill him?”

“I— No, I don’t think so. She just took him. He … he changed into me. She thought she was taking me.”

Vivian laughed, a short, mirthless sound. “Go, Lend. Bet she’s not happy when she figures out she dirtied herself with the mortal realms to bring back the wrong person.”

“You don’t think he’s dead?” I whispered, not daring to hope.

“No, he’s too interesting a prize. The faeries who raised me talked about the Dark Queen all the time. She loves collecting pretty things, and if she’s going up against the Seelies and all the elementals, she’s not going to throw away the son of a water spirit. She’s too smart for that, too cunning. She’ll cut her losses and figure out how to use him to gain an advantage.”

I let out another sob, thinking of Lend in her clutches, remembering what she had done to those poor people I saw when I was in the Faerie Realms with Jack. She’d done more than break their bodies—she’d stolen everything that made them human. The thought of what she could do to Lend …

“Deep breaths, Evie. This is good. I promise. She’s not going to hurt him. Yet.”

“Yet?” Gee, thanks, Viv. That was really reassuring.

“Exactly. Yet. Which means that you had better get your butt in gear and figure out a way to save him and take her down.”

“How am I supposed to do that? She’s the freaking Dark Queen. Have you ever seen her?”

“No.”

“Well, I have! And both times it was all I could do not to throw myself at her feet! Around her I’ve never … I’ve never felt so nothing. I’m nothing compared to her. Not even a grain of sand in eternity. She’s everything.”

Vivian rolled her eyes. “She’s totally overrated. And she has your Lend. You can do this. You have to.”

I wiped my tears away, clenching my jaw. I could do this. I had to. Lend was the only choice I’d ever wanted to make, and as long as he was alive, I wasn’t about to stop fighting.

“I love you, Viv,” I said, needing her to know that it was true, that someone could love her in spite of everything she’d done. I might never get a chance to see her again. Oh, who was I kidding—I was about to take on the Dark Queen. I was definitely never going to see Viv again.

Her face lit up in a smile that almost made her glow. “Ah, stupid, you know I love you, too.” Vivian held up one hand, palm out, and I put mine flat against hers. Her smile shifted, a vicious slant to her eyes. “Magic hands, remember?”

I nodded. “Magic hands.”

“Find the Dark Queen. Take it all.”

I woke up to the skeletons of trees framing the sky. Someone was crying softly and I turned my head to see Donna, cradling a seal in her arms, stroking its fur and whispering to it. Next to her Grnlllll lowered Nona halfway into a hole in the ground, then motioned with her pawlike hands; the dirt filled in around the tree spirit and Grnlllll sat heavily, staring at Nona’s body with half-lidded eyes.

I wanted to feel sad, wanted to find out if Kari would be okay and if Nona could somehow fix herself by being planted like that, but I couldn’t. There was nothing I could do to help them right now, and if I let myself mourn, it would take time and energy. I didn’t have room left to worry about anyone except Lend. I wouldn’t lose anyone else to the Dark Queen. It’s what Nona and Kari would want; they loved Lend, too.

“Where’s David?” I sat up in Reth’s arms, then pushed out of them and stood. We were on the banks of Cresseda’s pond; he must have brought me here while I was asleep.

“I believe he’s trying to secure help. Cresseda should be here shortly, along with most of the elementals. Including that rather distasteful dragon and those horrid, depressing banshees.”

“Doesn’t matter. Take me to the Dark Queen. Now.”

“I may be wrong, but I don’t believe your boy sacrificed himself so you could get killed.”

“I’m not going to get killed. I’m going to kill her.”

Reth laughed.

I punched him.

It hurt.

Me, not him, unfortunately. He just stared at me with those depthless golden eyes, and had the nerve to look sad. I waved my hand back and forth, trying to shake out the pain. “You think I can’t do it?”

“I’ve no doubt you think you can. But, Evelyn, my love, I’ve fought to protect you for years now. And, unlike you, I won’t so lightly disregard your Lend’s last wish that I keep you safe.”

“I’m not yours to keep safe! And if you had done something instead of just sitting there holding me back, Lend would be with us right now.”

“Yes, but you would be lost.”

“Are you going to help me or not?”

“Of course not.”

“Fine. I’ll get there myself, then.”

I turned and stomped up the path toward the house, mushy dead leaves muffling my steps. Lend’s car was still here; I could figure out this driving thing well enough to get myself back to the diner. I needed Tasey, and my cell phone, and Raquel.