Melissa Darnell - Covet

In March, the team also held officer auditions. Mrs. Daniels had me stay late after school that day to run the music while she and two judges scored the candidates on their officer solo and group routines. Bethany Brookes became one of the junior lieutenant officers, which didn’t surprise anyone. She was a good leader for the team, always willing to help others, always so happy and sweet and outgoing. It was like she had this perpetual ray of light beaming on her everywhere she went. Probably why her nickname on the dance team was Lil Miss Sunshine.

I wished I could be like her. But everything about my life was the polar opposite of hers. While Bethany was spinning in the spotlight, I was huddled in the dark backstage, and I couldn’t find a way out. I wanted to be the girl I was a year ago, before I got sick and learned all my family’s secrets, before I took a chance and let myself fall for a boy I could never have. Before Nanna died, and Mom was gone all the time on the road.

But I couldn’t go back, and I couldn’t change what I’d done or stop what I was now becoming. All I could do was fake a smile for my friends at lunch every day and pretend everything was all right.

And make sure I never looked back over my shoulder at the Clann table or the boy I could never be with again.

“Savannah?” Anne asked, her voice louder than usual in the cafeteria.

I jumped, knocking over my drink in the process. We all dived for napkins to sop up the spill while I muttered apologies. Well, there went my liquid lunch. All other food smelled too gross to eat lately.

“Are you in?” Anne repeated once Lake Savannah was managed on the table.

“In?” I stared at her in confusion. I really needed to stop spacing out so much around others.

“To go shopping this weekend,” Michelle answered, staring at me. When I didn’t answer, she added, “For dresses for the semiformal spring dance? We’re going to the mall in Tyler this Saturday.” Her tiny frame practically bounced in her seat.

A semiformal dance? Why would I want to go to that?

Carrie stared at me as if I were a new species of germ under a microscope.

Anne just rolled her eyes. “Earth to Miss Space Cadet. The dance is in two weeks. We’re all going. Including you.”

Cringing, I opened my mouth to argue.

Anne shook her head, her chestnut-colored ponytail swinging wildly. “No way, don’t even think about bailing on me. These two have dates. I don’t. Therefore you will be coming with me. I am not standing on the sidelines alone the whole night.”

“Then why go—” I began.

“For the dresses, of course!” Anne grinned. “Hey, don’t look at me like that. Even tomboys like me enjoy playing princess every once in a while.”

Carrie snickered.

Anne ignored her. “Come on, Sav. You never do anything with us anymore. Just because we’re not cool like your precious Charmers…”

It was my turn to groan and roll my eyes. “Don’t start with that again.”

Anne bared her teeth in the semblance of a smile. “Then don’t make me! Come shopping with us. Come to the dance. Pretend to be human again for a change.”

I froze. Did they know…?

No. No way could they guess my secrets. I was just being paranoid.

But maybe, just to be safe, I should try harder to fit in and be normal. “Fine.” I sighed, already regretting giving in. “Let’s go shopping this weekend.”

Michelle squealed and started raving about some prom magazines she’d bought to help prep us for the occasion. I nodded and tried to look interested.

Suddenly, the full meaning of Anne’s words registered with me.

“Wait a second.” I turned toward her. “Why aren’t you going with Ron?” She and Ron Abernathy had been dating for months, just like Tristan and me. In fact, their first date had been at the Charmers’ masq ball last October.

Where Tristan and I had danced together outside in the leaves, the full moon’s light making his fake knight’s armor shine as if it had been plated in real silver…

“…so we’re not seeing each other anymore,” Anne finished in a mumble.

I’d spaced out again and missed hearing her answer. Geez, I was a crappy friend lately. “I’m sorry, it was too loud in here. What did you say?”

Anne stared at me then shrugged. “I said he and I got into an argument and I broke up with him. We’re not together anymore.”

“What was the fight about?”

Anne gathered up her things. “It was…family stuff. I really don’t want to talk about it. And the bell’s about to ring anyway. Come on, let’s go.”

I opened my mouth to argue but the bell rang, cutting me off. Then I got a good look at the set of Anne’s chin. Stubborn as she was, I wouldn’t get anything more about it from her today.

Obviously something major had happened that I’d missed either because I hadn’t been paying attention or she hadn’t wanted to tell me. When had she broken up with Ron? Had she been upset and I hadn’t even noticed? Had she tried to call to talk about it?

I caught up to her at the trash cans. “Anne, wait. At least tell me when you broke up with him.”

She took her time pouring her soda into the trash. “It was the week after your grandma…”

Oh. So that’s why I hadn’t heard about it. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. That week was—”

She gave a quick shake of her head. “Don’t worry about it. I would have been out of it, too. Ready for third period?”

Part of me wanted to push her harder, find out what had happened. She had seemed completely blissed out every time Ron was around. What had changed?

Then again, who was I to try and pry the details of a painful story out of her? It wasn’t like I’d told her anything about my own breakup with Tristan. Or how Nanna had really died, or my family’s many secrets....

Yeah, I was definitely in no position to be nosy.

But it was one more thing between us pushing our friendship apart, and I didn’t know how to fix it.

And yet, I had to try.

* * *

I did my best to stay in the present and pay attention that Saturday when we all went dress shopping in Tyler, first at the mall then at several boutiques Michelle had looked up. I wanted to care about dresses and hairstyles and the merits of gold jewelry versus silver and rhinestones versus pearls. Maybe if I pretended hard enough, I could forget about the reality of my crazy, messed-up life and be normal again, at least for a little while. And maybe then the growing distance between me and my friends would disappear.

I tried to act excited as I gave Michelle total freedom to put together my look for the dance. But she didn’t make it easy when she picked out a long black satin dress with a plunging neckline and sequined straps. Black. On a vampire. It was so cliché it was ridiculous. Except she didn’t know what I was turning into, and she insisted it made my pale skin and red hair glow. More like glow in the dark. Still, what did I care how I looked? I wouldn’t be there with Tristan, and I would never be interested in anyone else. So as long as it made Michelle happy, it was fine with me.

“Hey, Sav, are you okay?” Michelle asked, surprising me from my thoughts as I sat in Anne’s desk chair the following Saturday night. I hadn’t even noticed her walk over.

Anne continued to tease Carrie mercilessly about being too wimpy to let Michelle apply her mascara. Carrie calmly ignored her as she sat on the daybed and put on mascara with the help of a small compact mirror.

“I’m fine,” I lied to Michelle, having to swallow back a lump so I could talk.

Carrie suddenly swiped Anne on the tip of the nose with the mascara wand, leaving a big spot of black. Anne screeched and stole the mirror, then licked her finger to wash off the spot. She called Carrie a rude name then stuck her wet finger in Carrie’s ear, making the blonde shriek out a few choice words about Anne’s germs.