Michael Bond - Paddington Complete Novels

Ignoring the remark, Paddington turned over the page.”For this trick,” he said, “I shall require an egg.”

“Oh dear,” said Mrs Bird, as she hurried out to the kitchen, “I know something dreadful is going to happen.”

Paddington placed the egg in the centre of his magic table and covered it with a handkerchief. He muttered ABRACADABRA several times and then hit the handkerchief with his wand.

Mr and Mrs Brown looked at each other. They were both thinking of their carpet. “Hey presto!” said Paddington, and pulled the handkerchief away. To everyone’s surprise the egg had completely disappeared.

“Of course,” said Mr Curry, knowledgeably, above the applause, “it’s all done by sleight of paw. But very good though, for a bear. Very good indeed. Now make it come back again!”

Feeling very pleased with himself, Paddington took his bow and then felt in the secret compartment behind the table. To his surprise he found something much larger than an egg. In fact… it was a jar of marmalade. It was the one that had disappeared that very morning! He displayed it in his paw; the applause for this trick was even louder.

“Excellent,” said Mr Curry, slapping his knee. “Making people think he was going to find an egg, and it was a jar of marmalade all the time. Very good indeed!”

Paddington turned over a page. “And now,” he announced, flushed with success, “the disappearing trick!” He took a bowl of Mrs Brown’s best flowers and placed them on the dining-table alongside his mystery box. He wasn’t very happy about this trick, as he hadn’t had time to practise it, and he wasn’t at all sure how the mystery box worked or even where you put the flowers to make them disappear.

He opened the door in the back of the box and then poked his head round the side. “I shan’t be a minute,” he said, and then disappeared from view again.

The audience sat in silence. “Rather a slow trick, this one,” said Mr Curry, after a while.

“I hope he’s all right,” said Mrs Brown. “He seems very quiet.”

“Well, he can’t have gone far,” said Mr Curry. “Let’s try knocking.” He got up, knocked loudly on the box, and then put his ear to it. “I can hear someone calling,” he said. “It sounds like Paddington. I’ll try again.” He shook the box and there was an answering thump from inside.

“I think he’s shut himself in,” said Mr Gruber. He too knocked on the box and called out, “Are you all right, Mr Brown?”

“NO!” said a small and muffled voice. “It’s dark and I can’t read my instruction book.”

“Quite a good trick,” said Mr Curry, some while later after they had prised open Paddington’s mystery box with a penknife. He helped himself to some biscuits. “The disappearing bear. Very unusual! But I still don’t see what the flowers were for.”

Paddington looked at him suspiciously, but Mr Curry was far too busy with the biscuits.

“For my next trick,” said Paddington, “I would like a watch.”

“Are you sure?” asked Mrs Brown, anxiously. “Wouldn’t anything else do?”

Paddington consulted his instruction book. “It says a watch,” he said, firmly.

Mr Brown hurriedly pulled his sleeve down over his left wrist. Unfortunately, Mr Curry, who was in an unusually good mood after his free tea, stood up and offered his. Paddington took it gratefully and placed it on the table. “This is a jolly good trick,” he said, reaching down into his box and pulling out a small hammer.

He covered the watch with a handkerchief and then hit it several times. Mr Curry’s expression froze. “I hope you know what you’re doing, young bear,” he said.

Paddington looked rather worried. Having turned over the page he’d just read the ominous words, “It is necessary to have a second watch for this trick.” Gingerly, he lifted up a corner of the handkerchief. Several cogs and some pieces of glass rolled across the table. Mr Curry let out a roar of wrath.

“I think I forgot to say ABRACADABRA,” faltered Paddington.

“ABRACADABRA!” shouted Mr Curry, beside himself with rage. “ABRACADABRA!” He held up the remains of his watch. “Twenty years I’ve had this watch, and now look at it! This will cost someone a pretty penny!”

Mr Gruber took out an eyeglass and examined the watch carefully. “Nonsense,” he said, coming to Paddington’s rescue. “It’s one you bought from me for three pounds six months ago! You ought to be ashamed of yourself, telling lies in front of a young bear!”

“Rubbish!” spluttered Mr Curry. He sat down heavily on Paddington’s chair. “Rubbish! I’ll give you…” his voice trailed away and a peculiar expression came over his face. “I’m sitting on something,” he said. “Something wet and sticky!”

“Oh dear,” said Paddington. “I expect it’s my disappearing egg. It must have reappeared!”

Mr Curry grew purple in the face. “I’ve never been so insulted in my life,” he said. “Never!” He turned at the door and waved an accusing finger at the company. “It’s the last time I shall ever come to one of your birthday parties!”

“Henry,” said Mrs Brown, as the door closed behind Mr Curry, “you really oughtn’t to laugh.”

Mr Brown tried hard to keep a straight face. “It’s no good,” he said, bursting out. “I can’t help it.”

“Did you see his face when all the cogs rolled out?” said Mr Gruber, his face wet with tears.

“All the same,” said Mr Brown, when the laughter had died down. “I think perhaps you ought to try something a little less dangerous next time, Paddington.”

“How about that card trick you were telling me about, Mr Brown?” asked Mr Gruber. “The one where you tear up a card and make it come out of someone’s ear.”

“Yes, that sounds a nice quiet one,” said Mrs Brown. “Let’s see that.”

“You wouldn’t like another disappearing trick?” asked Paddington, hopefully.

“Quite sure, dear,” said Mrs Brown.

“Well,” said Paddington, rummaging in his box, “it’s not very easy doing card tricks when you’ve only got paws, but I don’t mind trying.”

He offered a pack of cards to Mr Gruber, who solemnly took one from the middle and then memorised it before replacing the card. Paddington waved his wand over the pack several times and then withdrew a card. He held up the seven of spades. “Was this it?” he said to Mr Gruber.

Mr Gruber polished his glasses and stared. “You know,” he said, “I do believe it was!”

“I bet all the cards are the same,” whispered Mr Brown to his wife.

“Ssh!” said Mrs Brown. “I thought he did it very well.”

“This is the difficult bit,” said Paddington, tearing it up. “I’m not very sure about this part.” He put the pieces under his handkerchief and tapped them several times with the wand.

“Oh!” said Mr Gruber, rubbing the side of his head. “I felt something go pop in my ear just then. Something cold and hard.” He felt in his ear. “Why I do believe…” He held up a shining round object to the audience. “It’s a sovereign! My birthday present for Paddington! Now I wonder how it got in there?”

“Oooh!” said Paddington, as he proudly examined it. “I didn’t expect that. Thank you very much, Mr Gruber.”

“Well,” said Mr Gruber. “It’s only a small present I’m afraid, Mr Brown. But I’ve enjoyed the little chats we’ve had in the mornings. I look forward to them very much and, er,” he cleared his throat and looked around, “I’m sure we all hope you have many more birthdays!”

When the chorus of agreement had died down, Mr Brown rose and looked at the clock. “And now,” he said, “it’s long past all our bedtimes, most of all yours, Paddington, so I suggest we all do a disappearing trick now.”