John Lenahan - Sons of Macha

Who knew what we were going into? At least until then I would have some pleasant company along the way. And luckily Essa wasn’t coming so I wouldn’t be caught in the middle of a week-long oestrogen nightmare.

Araf showed up and I grunted at him – I’ve discovered that wordless communication is best with the taciturn Imp. Mom, Nieve and Dahy all dramatically feigned surprise at me being ready before them. I saddled up Acorn (I was tempted to take Cloud but she was Brendan’s horse now) and then helped Gerard hitch up the wagon to his monsta-horses.

Actually it was nice being early and not having everybody scowling at me to hurry. I was mounted up, waking up and starting to feel good about this expedition when my spirits were dashed by the arrival of the last two of the party – Tuan and Essa.

I cantered Acorn over to Dad. ‘I thought you forbade Essa from coming?’ I said in a harsh whisper.

‘Gerard had forbidden her to enter the Oracle’s house on Mount Cas so she and Tuan are performing a different task.’

‘You did this on purpose.’

‘What, son, do you accuse me of doing on purpose?’

‘You know perfectly well what you did. You invited Graysea and Essa on this trip so you could watch me suffer.’

Dad, who had been wearing the slightest of smirks, became gravely serious. ‘Essa is a very important part of Dahy’s plan and as I said before, Graysea is the finest healer I have ever seen. The world does not revolve around you, son. I would never ask anyone to join an undertaking as perilous as this just to annoy you.’ He kicked his horse away but as he did he said, ‘That’s just an added bonus.’

We took the main road out and travelled three abreast. On my left was Graysea and on my right was Essa. No one said a word. I was even afraid to shift in my saddle lest the noise break the agonisingly painful silence. Dad looked around and didn’t even try to stifle his chuckle. This was going to be a long, long trip. I thought, maybe if I’m lucky I’ll die a horrible death on Mount Cas. At least then I’ll be saved from a trip home with these two.

We travelled like that for a day and a half. No one said a word. Anybody who knows me understands that I’m uneasy with uncomfortable silences. This was pure torment. I thought my head was going to explode. On the first night I ate and went straight to bed. I was hoping I could get to sleep quickly so I would have someone in dreamland to talk to, but sleep wouldn’t come. I was sharing a tent with Araf and still wasn’t asleep by the time he came to bed. I was so desperate for conversation I said, ‘Say something.’

‘What would you like me to say?’ he answered, without the puzzlement in his voice that he should have had.

‘I don’t care – anything. You can tell me about crop rotation if you want.’

‘Really?’ he said, with more excitement than I have ever heard from him before.

‘Yes, anything.’

So off he went babbling on about plants and seeds and hoeing and dirt and bugs. He was so wrapped up in his subject I’m sure he didn’t notice me nodding off with a smile on my face. Anything was better than the silence I had been enduring sandwiched between the icy glares of those two women.

I got a reprieve the next day when Essa dropped back to have a planning chat with Tuan.

Graysea startled me when she spoke. ‘Do you still care for her?’

‘Who?’ I said lamely.

‘Conor, I’m stupid but not that stupid.’

‘You’re not stupid,’ I said, ‘you’re the cleverest mermaid I know.’

‘And how many mermaids do you know?’

‘Well, that’s not the point.’

‘No it’s not,’ she said. ‘The point, which you seem to be avoiding, is whether or not you still have feelings for Essa.’

‘Well, that’s complicated.’

‘And you think I am too stupid to understand. Is that it?’

‘No,’ I said looking around hoping that a pack of wolves would attack and get me out of this conversation. ‘Essa and I have a history.’

‘You still haven’t answered the question,’ she said and then mercifully continued so I didn’t have to. ‘I just don’t understand. When you were on the island with me she was engaged to that Turlow fella – right?’

‘Yes.’

‘So she is mad at you for being with me when she was engaged to somebody else. That doesn’t seem fair.’

‘Well, ah …’

‘And she hits you all the time.’

‘Well, I don’t know about all the time … but often.’

‘And is it true that last summer she tried to kill you?’

‘She … she didn’t try to kill me,’ I stammered, ‘she was just part of a plot to have me killed.’

Graysea shook her head and sighed. ‘And people think I’m stupid.’ She kicked her horse and sped ahead.

Gosh, I thought, when you add it all up like that she had a point. Araf had silently sidled up next to me. I turned to him and said, ‘What do you think, big guy?’

‘About what?’

‘About my women problems?’

‘I think,’ the Imp said, ‘I was more comfortable with questions about crop rotation.’

I got another reprieve that night when they both ignored me. Essa finally came up to me after dinner. A firefly sat on her shoulder illuminating one side of her face.

‘Your little mackerel is lounging in her barrel.’

‘She is not a mackerel, she’s a Mertain. She is a healer from the Grotto of Health on the Mertain islands. And she is not lounging. She is recharging – preparing herself so she can help any of us in case we are injured.’

Essa was taken aback by my tone. She stood.

‘Maybe you would prefer to join her in her bath tub.’

‘Maybe I would. At least she’s not mad at me all the time and she never hits me with sticks.’

Essa looked at me like she had never seen me before. I stood and faced her. ‘Anyway, I haven’t seen you for an hour or so – are you sure you haven’t gotten engaged to someone in that time?’

Essa looked like she had been slapped. ‘You promised you would never mention that.’

‘No I didn’t. You told me not to mention it. I never got a chance to promise. Well, maybe I’m tired of being bossed around by you.’

It didn’t take long for the surprised Essa to kick back. ‘Fine,’ she hissed. ‘I hope you and your fish will be happy together.’ She stomped away, leaving her firefly to flutter around confused, and then she turned. I took a step back expecting a blow. ‘Now that I think of it, you and your fish are perfect together – because you’re an eel.’

I tried riding with Araf the next day but he insisted on continuing his dissertation on agriculture so I dropped to the rear to have a long overdue catch-up with Tuan. Araf didn’t even notice I was gone.

‘Councillor Tuan,’ I said, ‘I’m surprised you’re still in Duir. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great having you around, but shouldn’t you be in the Pinelands impressing girls with your super-Pooka act?’

‘Girls,’ Tuan sighed, ‘are the reason I am here.’

‘Oh?’ I said with my inflection going up.

‘My mother wants me to marry.’

‘Oh,’ I said with my tone going down.

‘Yes, Mother wants me to marry a mousy woman from the council.’

‘When you say mousy, Tuan, do you mean she’s small or that she changes into a mouse?’

‘Both.’