Louise Gouge - A Family For The Rancher

Sarah’s face scrunched into a frown. “You’re not Pa.”

The disappointment in her voice was mirrored in her sister’s downcast expression. CJ’s heart took a quick, extra thump. He’d never felt more inadequate in his life. “Your pa won’t be home tonight.”

“Will he be back tomorrow?”

Furious at his brother, CJ forced out a calming breath, placed his hands on his knees, leaned over and gave the girls the truth. “I don’t know.”

Identical lower lips trembled.

He swallowed back another wave of anger at Ned. “I was hoping I could eat supper with you two girls.”

Sarah’s face tightened. Anna angled her head. Then both children gave him a small, tentative smile.

“Would you like me to eat with you?”

They nodded slowly, their little minds clearly working furiously behind their clear, rounded eyes.

They looked so forlorn, so disappointed, CJ’s heart twisted in his chest.

“Are you going to stay with us in the house tonight?” Anna asked.

“That’s the plan.”

Twisting the fabric of her skirt between her fingers, the child drew in a shaky breath. “Okay.”

Without pause, with one single motion, he lowered himself to his knees and opened his arms. “How about a hug for your Unca Corny?”

Anna launched herself at him. He caught her against his chest, hugged her close. She smelled of flowers and everything good in this world, and he thought his heart might burst with love.

Shifting her slightly to his left, he reached for Sarah, who’d been studying him very closely. She hugged him just as fiercely as her sister. Emotion swept through him, convicting him. He would do right by these children. Whatever it takes .

He set them away from them and searched their precious faces for any sign of distress. It was there, of course, shimmering in their wide, sad eyes, but with the resilience of youth, they chattered over one another in an attempt to tell him about their day.

How could Ned have walked away from these sweet girls? It boggled the mind.

“…and then Miss Molly showed us how to make cornhusk dolls.”

“Did she?” He looked up and found Molly watching him with soft, watery eyes. Her expression was almost wistful.

He didn’t understand that look. Yet he knew it had something to do with him. His heart pounded against his ribs. His breath clogged in his throat. His mind reeled.

Her , a whisper in his mind seemed to say. She’s the one for you .

CJ shoved aside the thought with a hard shake of his head. There’d been a time when he thought Molly had a special affection for him. But her interest had waned right before she’d gone off and married a preacher.

“All right, girls, give your uncle a chance to catch his breath.” Molly clapped her hands together. “Supper’s ready.”

She herded the twins toward the table, then paused when CJ didn’t follow. “You are joining us, aren’t you?”

“A home-cooked meal with three beautiful females? Try to keep me away.”

They shared a laugh. It felt good to laugh with Molly.

Despite Ned’s noticeable absence, supper went smoothly. CJ credited the easy atmosphere to Molly’s calming presence.

When the dishes were clean and order was restored to the kitchen, she said her goodbyes to the girls. “I’ll be back in the morning. We’ll spend the day making clothes for your new dolls.”

“Will you read to us before you go?”

She glanced out the window, seemed to consider the question thoughtfully. “For five minutes, but no more.”

That was CJ’s cue. “I’ll saddle your horse and bring her around to the front of the house.”

“Thank you.” She gave him one of her sweetest smiles.

He found himself smiling back.

He was still smiling as he made the trek to the barn. He located his foreman and asked him to make sure Molly got home safely.

“You got it, Boss.”

CJ would have preferred to escort her himself, but he couldn’t leave the twins alone and felt confident sending Duke in his place. By the time he stepped back inside the house, Molly was sitting on the sofa between the girls, reading from a small, worn Bible.

The three made a cozy scene, the very essence of family. A yearning so deep shot through CJ that for a moment he couldn’t seem to catch his breath.

He pulled the door shut behind him, but stayed where he was, watching, hoping, praying for something so far out of reach he couldn’t make the image form in his head.

“Sadie is saddled and waiting for you outside.”

Molly shut the Bible and kissed each girl on the head. The twins immediately protested her departure. After another round of hugs, and more promises to return before first light, Molly joined him at the door.

They walked outside in silence.

As he helped her into the saddle, CJ felt it again, that powerful wish for something… more . It was the same sensation from this morning. Once again, he pushed it away. Ignored it. Denied it. The process proved far less successful this evening.

Clearing his throat, he rolled his shoulders, shifted his stance. He couldn’t seem to find his balance. His mind filled with all the tasks that lay ahead. He would have to move a few things into the main house tonight. Then he’d have to get the girls settled in bed. And—

“Relax, CJ.” Molly leaned over and touched his arm. Everything in him calmed. “You aren’t in this alone. I’ll continue watching the girls for as long as you need me.”

She’d said nearly the same words this morning. He had no reason to doubt her sincerity, but such a promise wasn’t realistic.

Ever since Penelope died, CJ had focused on ranching, while letting Ned find his own way through his grief. In the span of a single day, CJ’s entire life had changed. His priorities had shifted dramatically. He must move into the future with only frank honesty between him and Molly. “One day, whether Ned returns or not, you will leave us.”

She was shaking her head before he finished speaking.

He pressed on. “ One day ,” he said with emphasis, to make his point clear, “you’ll marry again, and that’ll be—”

“I’ll never marry again.”

CJ pulled back in surprise. He couldn’t remember a time when Molly had looked this fierce, this determined or this sad.

It was the sadness that led him to say, “You’re still in love with your husband.”

Surely that explained her refusal to wed another man. There was tremendous honor in that kind of devotion, CJ decided, even as he felt something unpleasant twist in his gut.

“A part of me will always love George.” Sorrow came and went in her eyes. “But that’s not the reason I won’t ever—”

She cut off her own words, glanced frantically around, then drew in a sharp breath and started again. “It’s getting late. I better head home.”

Her voice was even as she spoke, but the pain in her eyes made CJ regret bringing up her husband. At a loss for words, he reached for the horse’s reins and handed them to her. “Good night, Molly.”

“Good night, CJ.”

Neither made a move to leave. They didn’t smile, didn’t speak. They simply stared into each other’s eyes. And then they stared some more. One moment stretched into two.

At last, Molly lowered her eyelashes and the awkward interaction was over. She gave the mare a gentle kick in the ribs and set out toward her family’s ranch.

Once Duke moved in behind her, CJ closed his eyes and considered all that had happened in the span of a day. He predicted a long, sleepless night ahead, the reason as much because of the woman riding toward the painted horizon as his brother’s shocking departure.