Barbara Bradford - The Cavendon Women

‘Yes. It’s occurred to me that my antagonism towards you could present a problem, and I suppose I must mend my ways.’

‘And so must I, Cecily.’ A faint smile flickered on his mouth, and he added, ‘It struck me yesterday that we might be able to slip back into the past; maybe we could behave like we did then. We had fun, we were happy.’

When she remained silent, he said, ‘Well, we did have fun, and we were happy.’

‘That’s true, but I hope you don’t think that I’m going to go up to the attics with you and revisit our “love nest”, as you used to call it.’

She had said this so solemnly, and her face was so serious, Miles burst out laughing, surprising himself; it was the first time he had laughed in months. ‘Of course not,’ he spluttered. After a moment, he contained his hilarity. ‘I’m speaking about our demeanour,’ he explained.

Cecily had managed to remain poker-faced, although there had been a moment when she had almost laughed with him. But she wasn’t going to give him an inch. Not ever.

Eventually, she answered, ‘I think if we try to erase the last few years, and remember our youthful friendship, it will work. I will try hard, because we must make this a perfect celebration for Lord Mowbray.’

‘Thank you, Ceci, I knew you’d see the sense of striking a bargain.’

‘More like a compromise, I think, Miles,’ she answered stiffly.

Ignoring her iciness, he shifted slightly on the sofa, and went on, ‘There is just one thing I want to explain, something you should know.’

His voice had changed, was now extremely serious, and she glanced at him swiftly. Knowing him as intimately as she did, she was positive he was about to say something of genuine importance.

‘Tell me then.’ Her gaze was level, steady, as she looked across at him.

‘I’m going to London next week. I haven’t been for ages, and I shall ask Clarissa for a divorce.’

Cecily had not anticipated anything like this, and she was shocked. Before she could stop herself, she blurted out, ‘But what will the Earl say?’

‘Papa knows the marriage hasn’t worked. We are not compatible in any way. Clarissa hates the country; furthermore, she has never conceived. She hasn’t given me an heir, and this troubles my father as much as it has upset me. And it won’t happen now, because we have been separated for some time.’

When she made no response, he said, ‘But then you know that. Because you’re a Swann, and the Swanns know everything about the Inghams.’

‘Not always everything,’ she remarked. ‘But yes, it’s true, I did know that your marriage was not happy, Miles. Great-Aunt Charlotte told me. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.’

‘So am I,’ he mumbled. ‘In view of the sacrifices I made.’

‘I know,’ was all she said, thinking about the sacrifices she had been forced to make as well. But this was best left unsaid.

Miles continued, ‘I shall make Clarissa a generous offer – alimony, the house in Kensington my father gave us for a wedding present. But I’m not at all sure she’ll agree to a divorce.’

A frown brought Cecily’s brows together, and she asked in a puzzled voice, ‘But why not? She’s young enough, and pretty; she could get married again. And consider what she would bring to a new marriage. Alimony, and a lovely house.’

‘The alimony would cease if she remarried, but she would keep the house. However there’s a problem, you see.’

‘What is it?’

‘She wants to have a title, to be a countess, and so she’ll try to cling on. When Papa had his heart attack last year, there were moments when I thought she was positively gleeful, anxiously waiting for him to pop off and clear the way for me. And for her, of course.’

‘But how awful that is, Miles! Horrid.’ Cecily sounded aghast.

‘You’re telling me! It was preposterous, especially since we were separated by then. But I shall win, I’m quite certain. Papa has spoken to his solicitor, and the way through this is for me to take the blame, provide evidence of adultery, so that she can sue me for divorce. If she won’t agree to that, I might well have to divorce her. According to Mr Paulson, Papa’s solicitor, I do have grounds. Not of adultery, but of abandonment. You see, she packed all of her things and left me here at Cavendon. In other words, she left the marital home.’

Cecily leaned back in the chair, thinking of the last six years. For Miles they had been wasted. But for her they had been productive, because she had started her fashion business, and it was thriving, making money.

‘Penny for your thoughts,’ Miles said quietly, watching her carefully.

‘I was thinking of all the years you lost,’ she murmured, as honest as usual.

‘I know. On the other hand, I did learn a lot about agriculture, livestock, the land, the grouse moor, running the estate. And I keep on learning.’ He leaned forward and looked at her intently. ‘When I’m finally free, divorced from Clarissa, would there be any chance for me?’

‘What do you mean exactly?’ she asked, her mouth suddenly dry, a feeling of alarm running through her.

‘You know very well what I mean. But I’ll spell it out, clarify it. Is there a chance for me with you, Ceci?’

Cecily was not surprised by this question, because she knew he still loved her, just as she loved him. Nothing would ever change their feelings. There would never be anyone else for her, and she knew he felt the same way. But he was different in one thing. He was the heir to an earldom, and his father would most decidedly want an aristocrat for a new daughter-in-law. Not an ordinary girl like her. DeLacy had pointed that out to her six years ago, when she had blurted out that Miles was getting engaged to an aristocrat. ‘He could never marry an ordinary girl like you,’ DeLacy had said, and she had never forgotten those words.

‘You’re not answering me,’ Miles said, his blue eyes suddenly filled with love for her. That awful sadness was now expunged.

The way he was gazing at her, his face full of yearning, touched her deeply. His expression was signalling so much to her, and it reflected what she had felt for years. She said slowly, ‘When I was twelve, you proposed to me and I accepted. But we were too young. When I was eighteen you proposed again and I accepted. However, you married another woman. What are you saying to me now, Miles? Third time lucky?’ An eyebrow lifted quizzically.

He nodded, and a smile broke through his gravity. ‘Yes, third time lucky indeed! So you will marry me when I am divorced?’ He sounded excited, and his voice was lighter, suddenly younger.

‘I don’t know,’ she replied. ‘Actually, I don’t think so. I’ve changed in many ways, and so have you.’ She paused, took a deep breath. ‘But the situation hasn’t. I’m still an ordinary girl. I can’t make that kind of commitment to you now, Miles, nor should you to me.’

‘You still love me, Cecily Swann. Just as much as I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you, and you know that.’ He sat back, a reflective look crossing his face, and then he said in a low, tender voice, ‘We belong to each other, and we have since we were children.’

She was silent, her face wiped clean of all expression. But inside her heart clenched. She wanted to say yes to him, to tell him she did belong to him, but she did not dare. She could not expose herself to him. Because it was his father, the Earl of Mowbray, who would ultimately have the final word in the end, not Miles.

Almost as if he had read her mind, Miles announced, ‘First things first, Ceci. I must get my freedom, and then we will talk again and sort everything out. Will you agree to that?’

Cecily could only nod.