Barbara Bradford - The Cavendon Luck

She smiled when he stopped next to her, kissed her on her cheek. ‘You look positively radiant this morning, Ceci,’ he said.

‘Flattery will get you everywhere, as you well know, Harry,’ she answered with a slight laugh, and added, ‘And you don’t look half bad yourself. Have you done your rounds yet?’

‘No. I wanted to see you first. Let’s go down to the gazebo where it’s cool, shall we?’

‘And also very private,’ Cecily pointed out, falling in step with him.

He glanced at her. ‘True. Point well taken. But my office was rather warm this morning … it’s all this July sun.’

‘I’m not going to chastise you or anything like that, you know. You’re a grown man and have every right to lead your life as you see fit. I just wanted to have a little chat, mostly because of Mam.’

Harry exclaimed, ‘She’s not ill or anything like that, is she?’

‘No, of course not, but she is concerned about you.’

‘I know,’ was all he said.

They walked on in silence, lost in their own thoughts. After a while it was Cecily who spoke first. ‘I want to thank you for helping Walter with his riding, Harry. He’s always been a bit frightened of horses, as you well know, and you’ve managed to banish that fear. He loves his riding lessons with you.’

‘And the horse I bought him. She’s a gentle little filly and he’s making wonderful progress. I’m rather proud of him.’

‘He told me yesterday that he’s catching up with David, and that soon he’ll ride better than his big brother.’

Harry chuckled. ‘I think he’s on the right track. By the way, I had a weird experience last night. I knocked a girl off her bicycle.’

Startled, Cecily stared up at him, frowning. ‘A bicycle? Where? Not here on the estate, surely?’

‘Yes, it was. She came hurtling down the main Cavendon Road leading into the village. I didn’t see her.’ He told Cecily the story without any embellishment, and finished, ‘She turned out to be Phoebe Bellamy, Commander Jollion’s niece, and when she found out I was a Swann she wanted to know if I was related to Cecily Swann, the Fashion Queen of the World.’

Cecily burst out laughing, then shook her head, highly amused. ‘I’ve never met Phoebe, but her mother is Commander Jollion’s sister, Adrianna. She has quite a big family. About seven children.’

‘My goodness, that’s quite a brood. But she only mentioned two brothers,’ Harry said as they went into the gazebo. They sat down opposite each other, and Cecily explained, ‘Mam’s not angry with you, Harry, just concerned—’

‘About the possibility of gossip,’ he cut in, his face gloomy.

‘I suppose that does worry her a bit, because of your position here. But she’s more concerned that you’re “on a road to nowhere”, is the way she put it. You told her you want children, and very much so, and she thinks that’s not going to happen because Pauline Mallard is too old.’

Harry nodded, and now a reflective expression slid on to his face. ‘Mam’s right, Pauline is forty-eight, and she herself thinks the same thing. Her child-bearing days are more than likely over. At least that’s what Pauline believes.’

‘She doesn’t look forty-eight, so much younger.’

‘That’s what I said when she told me her age. She’s been very honest and open with me, Ceci. Pauline’s a good woman.’

‘A married woman,’ Cecily said very softly, reaching out, taking hold of Harry’s hand on the table. Holding it tightly, she said, ‘Listen to me, I’m your sister and I know you better than anybody. Therefore, I know you must be madly in love with her to keep this affair going.’ Cecily paused, shook her head slowly, finished, ‘But it’s going nowhere.’

When Harry remained silent, Cecily murmured, ‘I suppose she has an unhappy marriage, right?’

‘Yes, she does. Sheldon travels a lot, and, well, it’s not an intimate relationship, from what she’s told me.’

Cecily couldn’t help sighing. ‘Oh Harry, Harry, that’s what they all say, be it a man or a woman who is committing adultery. It’s the same old story, and has been for centuries. For ever, I suppose.’

‘In Pauline’s case I think it’s true. He has other interests … in a different direction.’

‘What do you mean?’ She lowered her voice when she asked in a cautious tone, ‘Do you mean he’s a homosexual?’

‘She never said that, just that it was not intimate,’ Harry answered sotto voce. ‘And he had different tastes.’

‘I’m not surprised she didn’t say anything else. He could go to jail.’

He nodded. ‘I believe her, Ceci, and that’s that. I do know it would be hard for me to leave her.’

‘Has she ever mentioned getting a divorce?’ Cecily asked, her eyes focused on Harry.

‘She says he’ll never agree to a divorce, and that we have to make the best of it.’

‘I don’t think you should make the best of it, as Pauline calls it! You’re stuck with a woman too old to have your children, and one who obviously won’t get a divorce for some reason.’

Leaning forward, Cecily said emphatically, ‘Harry, please be sensible, think of yourself. And your future. You’re forty years old. Get out now and go your own way. You will meet someone, I just know you will.’

‘That’s very funny talk coming from you. I can remember your litany … you always said you could never love anybody else but Miles. And that’s how I feel about Pauline.’

‘It’s hard, I do know that, I really do. Mam thought it might be a good idea if you could get away for a while, take a holiday. Actually, I wish you could come with us now … to Zurich.’

Harry half smiled. ‘I run this estate with Miles, and when he’s away I have to be here. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t enjoy a holiday with you both in Zurich. I love being with you and Miles. The thing is, though, you take your problems with you, wherever you go. And before you nay-say me, those are words you once said to me about your feelings for Miles.’

Cecily nodded, filled with love for her brother, and also understanding his situation, his emotions. He was in love with a woman he couldn’t marry, one who most likely couldn’t bear his children. Cecily didn’t want to chastise him, or question him, only to comfort him. And encourage him to move on. She wished she could introduce him to someone special, but she did not have anyone in mind at the moment. Anyway, he would resent her interference.

Rising, Cecily said, ‘I’m here for you whenever you need me, Harry, and so is Miles.’

Harry also jumped to his feet, and he took hold of her arm affectionately. ‘I know that, and thank you for caring.’

They went up the path together without speaking, holding hands. He broke away when they arrived at the stable block. After kissing her cheek, Harry murmured, ‘I’ll look after David and Walter whilst you’re gone, Ceci. I love them, you know.’

She nodded. ‘You’re the perfect uncle,’ she responded.

He smiled at her and walked off.

She watched him go, thinking what a good-looking man he was; he was kind and caring as well. And he did love her children. That was only too apparent in the way he spent time with the boys, and taught them so much. What a wonderful father he would make, and certainly a good husband.

Walking towards the terrace, she could not help thinking what a sad life her brother had. He loved Cavendon and his job. He and Miles were the closest of friends and worked well together. He was popular with everyone, and much admired and surrounded by loved ones here.

But he was alone, living in the house Great-Aunt Charlotte had given him. All alone . He must feel hollow inside. He cooked his own meals. Or he went across the village street to their parents’ house, or ate at the village pub, Little Skell Arms. He was not a social animal and was mostly on his own.