Anabelle Bryant - Return to the House of Sin

She wished more than the single flame lit the interior. How she would have liked to see his face and measure the emotion in his eyes when he’d said the last few sentences. That same note of vulnerability, a combination of wounded pride and broken heart, laced each syllable of his complaint. They hardly knew one another but she could detect Crispin had suffered at the hand of an ill-fated relationship. Just another example of why she avoided romance.

Her stomach shifted, but she clenched her teeth and breathed deep. She couldn’t be sick now. Not when conversation proved so elucidating. The ship heartily agreed with a creaking groan of wood and rigging, the exclamation clank of some abandoned article thrust against the railing. She wrapped her arms around her middle and darted a look in his direction.

‘What of your family?’ A yowling protest of wind underscored his enquiry.

‘My mother passed from a spiteful, wasting disease when I was a young child.’ She paused, but then hurried to finish. ‘Oh, and there’s Enid, our maid. She’s served Raelyn and me since the nursery. And with Father, that’s my entire family.’ Amanda swallowed and turned to stare into the blackness across the room. As much as she wanted to face Crispin at her side and converse properly, the vigorous ebb and flow of the ship combined with her distressing nausea made for a poor combination. She all but whispered these words.

‘I’m sorry for your loss.’ He relaxed against the wall, settling into the conversation until he turned and leaned closer. ‘It’s rather odd, isn’t it? Your appearance on this ship in my quarters.’

She matched his intense stare.

‘Now that I examine things more closely, I have dozens of questions for you. How does one board a ship incorrectly? Were you travelling alone? Are you running from a problem you believe unfixable? Have you done something wrong, Amanda?’

A comfortable little silence fell between them and, for several long minutes, only the wind and water could be heard. Her mind fixated on the uncomfortable discovery of how she liked the way he enunciated her name, drawing on each syllable as if reluctant to let each one go.

His last question held a complex note of dubious distrust, as if he’d perpetrated the same oversight himself and judged it as disreputable. But then, by his own tongue, he boasted of his poor character.

‘Not on purpose,’ she replied without hesitation.

‘One would wonder.’

Somehow, through the process of the conversation or mayhap the pitch and fall of the ship’s motion, they’d become closer. The wooden bowl still remained between them, but their bodies angled, almost touched, and in an odd, confusing urge she had no way to explain, she yearned to lay her head upon his shoulder and draw from his steady support and relax into his strength. Anything to quiet the clamouring churn of her stomach.

‘Running from things hardly solves the problem.’

His voice dropped an octave and a tremor coursed through her to settle deep and remind of her cashmere blanket, a gift from her father when he’d travelled to India several years ago. She treasured that blanket, not just for its warmth and sentimental value, but its unique comfort. Whenever she missed her mother or allowed sadness to grip her heart, she’d wrap herself tight in the incredible softness and dream herself to sleep. How odd his voice would console with equal measure.

‘Are we still discussing my unfortunate appearance upon this ship?’ She honestly couldn’t be sure.

‘Well, it doesn’t matter overmuch. I’m sure you’ve a bevy of suitors to demand your attention, no matter your small family. Anyone would notice you’re a beautiful woman.’ He didn’t turn; still, the impact of his words echoed with sincerity.

That may have been the nicest thing a man had ever said to her. Lord, she must look her worst, skin clammy and sea-green. She’d managed not to cast up her stomach, though every minute the battle waged stronger and, despite the quivery sensation deep in her abdomen, the mortifying feeling, the one that said she would most certainly make use of that bowl before evening’s end, another part of her, separate and not as impacted by the rigorous turbulence, tucked his kind words away for later.

She took a minute to admire his profile in the lantern’s glow. He possessed a strong chin and aristocratic nose. High, sharp cheekbones composed a distinctly handsome face. She knew his eyes to be cerulean, bluer than every shade and depth of the ocean surrounding their voyage, yet nothing could overshadow the beauty of his hair, dark gold threaded through with fairer strands that glistened like captured starlight.

Running. She’d never considered it, but Crispin spoke with such affirmation she was tempted to enquire from what he ran.

‘So, you need to return to England for your wedding then?’

She might have corrected his preposterous presumptions, but the ship dove and plunged, uplifted with a brave hurdle, and when she opened her mouth to answer, she gagged, a dry heave of embarrassment and insipient nausea.

‘Does the mention of marriage always evoke that reaction?’ Humour laced his words and he slanted a mischievous glance in her direction. ‘I possess the same opinion.’

She gulped some air. ‘You have an unconventional viewpoint.’

‘I warned you. I’m not a good man.’ This was said matter-of-factly and then nothing more.

The sparse calm between turbulent shifts had ceased and, before she’d recovered, the galleon rolled left, suspended by a wailing surge before it righted to a vertical position. In a moment of unexpected boldness or abject fear, she lifted her palm from where it lay braced on the floor and gripped his shirt sleeve. Her first thought was of heated strength, the muscles of his forearm under her fingertips hard and unyielding, but then his body shifted at her touch and became pliant and infinitely welcoming.

To her dismay, all was lost after that. The first retch gripped her with tactless discourtesy and she reached for the wooden bowl as the galleon gave a sharp jerk. She might have found herself as helpless and adrift as a piece of flotsam had Crispin not caught her at the shoulders. He hauled her to his side, in an inelegant but effective motion, and wrapped her braid around his fist so it wouldn’t fall forward into the bowl she’d positioned on her lap.

Nothing emerged despite her harsh convulsions and when the wave of nausea passed, she croaked out her own attempt at levity. ‘See. I knew you to be a good man.’

His hands held her firm, braced to offer support and comfort, despite the floor tilted and the storm raged on. When his hold eased, she tried to reclaim her portion of the floor until, all of a sudden, she doubled over, a retched gargle of bile and whatever little contents were left inside her expelled alongside her mortification.

Tendrils of humiliation crept up her spine. She longed to sink through the floor to the bottom of the ocean. Anything to hide from the self-censure and embarrassment of vomiting in front of this man who’d done nothing but rescue her since she’d stepped aboard the ship. Anchored by his hold on her shoulders, her hair tight in his grasp, she pressed her lips closed and eased back against the hard wood wall.

‘Now we’re done with that…’ Crispin slid his eyes to the left, wary of how Amanda would accept his assistance. Ladies were delicate with matters males dismissed out of hand. Men drank too much, expelled their rotten gut into a nearby potted plant and reached for another drink of the same poison. The fairer sex became disconcerted when the lace on their sleeve wrinkled.

He dared another assessing glance. The worst of it seemed past, though there was no way to be sure. Perhaps he should see her to the bed. His mouth quirked as he suppressed a smile amused by a different circumstance than the norm. Not that Amanda conjured those kinds of thoughts. Thoughts of soft, fragrant skin, lush curves and seductive kisses. Nothing of the kind actually. Her hair was matted from perspiration, the braid tangled and partially unravelled, and despite she’d expelled next to nothing from her stomach, the last image she would evoke was one of a romantic nature.