Caridad Pineiro - The Coltons - Fisher, Ryder & Quinn - Soldier's Secret Child

“Yes, what do you want for yourself?” he said, leaving no room for doubt about the answer he expected from her.

What did she want that was only for herself? she wondered, but then the answer came too swiftly to be denied any longer.

“I want you.”

A tremor rocked through the hand in her hair and beside her his body tensed.

“Macy,” he said, his tone low and tinged with an odd combination of exasperation and need. He rolled onto his back, breaking contact with her.

She raised herself up on one elbow. “You were right when you said that I wanted you back in high school and that I want you now, but you know what else?”

He looked away, unable to meet her probing gaze as he asked, “What?”

“Want without love is empty. That’s what I realized back in high school. That’s why I married Tim,” she finally confessed, thinking that he deserved a complete explanation after so many years.

The pain in his heart was almost more than he could bear and so strong that he wanted to lash out at her. Before he could control himself, he had flipped and pinned her to the mattress, his body holding her down while he held her hands above her head.

“You never even gave me a chance to prove to you it was more,” he said, his breath ragged in his chest from his distress.

“No, I didn’t and that was wrong. I should have given you a chance, especially when I found out I was pregnant with T.J., only…”

“Only what, damn it! I deserve an answer as to why you kept my son from me for his entire life,” he barked out.

“I was afraid of what I felt for you. I was afraid that if I gave you my heart, you’d break it when you left.” Tears shimmered in her eyes, but she battled them back, biting her lower lip in a gesture that was all too telling and all too tempting.

He slowly loosened his grip on her hands and bent his head, bringing his lips to a hair’s breadth from hers. “Maybe if you had asked, I wouldn’t have left,” he said and then closed the distance between them and kissed her. Put all of his heart and soul and eighteen years of frustration into showing her just what might have been between them.

The shock of his kiss, filled with such need and yearning, overcame any doubts Macy might have had about whether it was right to explore this. She opened her mouth to his and pressed her body upward, meeting the hardness of his muscled physique. The short strands of his dark hair were soft against her hands as she held his head to her, urging him on.

Over and over they kissed until they were both trembling. Until it wasn’t enough and she lifted her hips against the press of his erection, so full and hard against her belly.

She shuddered and between her legs, her muscles clenched on the emptiness there, but she reminded herself of her earlier words to him. About how empty want was without love.

She had no doubt she cared for him. About him. She had no doubt she could be falling in love with him. With his strength and goodness.

But she also knew that if that love was to grow true and strong, taking this any further tonight would be wrong. Fisher must have sensed it as well since he gave her one last kiss before slowly pulling away.

“I’m willing to wait until you’re ready, Macy,” he said, brushing away a tousled lock of her hair.

She nodded, but had to ask him. “What happens then, Fisher?”

Fisher wished he knew what to tell her. He wished he knew whether she ever would be ready for a relationship with him or whether he could commit to her if she was. Commit to having a wife and family after so many years in the military.

“I’m not sure,” he confessed.

She faced away from him as she said, “Jericho said you might not sign up for another tour of duty. That you might teach instead.”

Damn his brother for being such a busybody, he thought. Hadn’t Jericho ever heard the old saying that loose lips sink ships?

“I’ve been offered a teaching post at West Point.”

“And had you given any thought to it?” she asked, turning toward him once again, the resoluteness in her brown-eyed gaze drilling into him, daring him to lie to her, but he couldn’t.

“I had given it some thought,” he admitted and that seemed to be enough for her for the moment.

“I think it’s time we got some rest,” she said and flipped onto her side.

He nestled against her, his front to her back, spooned as close as he could be, and dropped his arm to rest across her waist while pillowing his head on his other arm.

“Good night, Mace.”

“Good night, Fisher,” she said and laid her arm over his.

For long moments he lay there, listening to her breathe until the rhythm of it deepened and lengthened, confirming to him that she slept. Even then he clung onto wakefulness, trying to experience this peaceful interlude. Wondering how it might be if she lay beside him every night. What it would be like to sample the passion he had experienced but for a brief moment earlier that night.

As he drifted off, the taste of her on his lips and the memory of her pressed close, it occurred to him that maybe family life might not be such a bad thing.

That maybe it was worth giving that teaching position more than just a thought.

He awoke to the smell of fresh coffee and Macy. Her scent lingered on the sheets long after she had left the bed.

He took his time to snuggle her pillow close and savor that rose-filled scent. Maybe even memorize for the future if it turned out to be that his nights were meant to be without her.

Realizing he couldn’t dawdle for long, however, he rose and went to the bathroom where he relieved himself and after, washed his face and hands. Put a little of her toothpaste on his finger and scrubbed his mouth out the best he could.

Thankfully, it took just his fingers to rake smooth the short strands of his hair and then he was on his way downstairs and to the kitchen, where Macy was standing at the counter, fork-splitting some English muffins.

“Good morning,” he said and came up behind her, dropped a quick kiss on the side of her face.

“Mornin’, Fisher. I walked over to the corner store and got some more eggs. Figured I’d make us a bite to eat while we decided what to do today.”

“Let me help,” he said, grabbed the muffins and brought them to the toaster while Macy cracked the eggs.

After he popped the muffins into the toaster oven and got it cranking, he leaned back against the counter and asked, “Have you given any thought to where T.J. might have taken Sara?”

She shook her head as she scrambled the eggs and said, “I’ve been thinking about that ever since yesterday. Joe said T.J. thought no one would find her there…”

Her voice trailed off and she stopped whipping. She put down the fork and bowl and said, “We used to go hiking and camping about thirty miles from here in the Texas hill country.”

Wiping her hands on her apron, she headed toward a side door in the kitchen and he followed.

The door opened into the two-car garage which had a recessed area on one side. Shelves and a large plastic storage bin were tucked into the recess and Macy immediately went to the storage bin and pulled up the top.

“The camping equipment and knapsacks are gone. T.J. must have taken them and if he did that…I bet that’s where he took her. We used to go up in the hills and camp. We even found a cave one time.”

“Was the cave big enough for someone to hide in or stay for any length of time?” he asked.

“Definitely. We slept there one night when it was raining,” she said with a quick bob of her head. “T.J. and his dad used to go there often until…I only went a few times, though. Hiking and camping were not my thing.”